Dating Thread 191 - Daters Gonna Date

[JeSuisPrest]

Props to @HairyArsedMan for the thread title - hopefully we'll be able to start dating again normally soon - grabbing a coffee, drink, dinner whatever. I wonder how many hours walking around parks, we've racked up on the last couple of threads.

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I hope you are ok @Onesmallstep67

I think letting Mr Cocky go completely for good will give you freedom and you should want that. You don’t need to go back on the apps but at least you would have one less stress in your life?

So I am 40 today and I have been having dreams about Mr Muddle contacting me for a couple of weeks to say happy birthday. And he just did. I just knew deep down he wouldn’t be able not to do it. I don’t know how I knew but I just knew. Honestly my gut instinct is fucking amazing 😂

I haven’t replied. I don’t want to reply. I don’t want to talk to him as it’s pointless

But it’s made me feel really weird and unsettled

I’m making Mr Surprises work a bit today. He’s been busy putting up a large fence the last few days and I’ve had very little contact. I saw him Saturday night and text a couple of times Sunday morning then nothing. I text yesterday morning to see if he’s free Wednesday and he only replied this morning to see if I wanted to go for lunch tomorrow. I haven’t replied yet. I’ve since had 3 more messages. All memes or links to funny things. I’m guessing to get my attention 🤣😬 Id thought about saying no to lunch and saying I’d made other plans as it took 24 hours to respond but I’d like to see and I’m desperate to eat out again!

This is all lighthearted I promise. I’ve been busy too and I’m one for if you sent the last text, you don’t send another.

I do want him to know he has to try a bit harder though and I’m not always available for him.

Happy 40th birthday @Menora, hope you have a wonderful day. Don't dwell on Mr Muddle's message and instead enjoy the company and attention of the people that matter. As you say it's something you could have predicted he would do.
And thank you for your thoughtful support as always. I'm fine.

Happy birthday menora x

Happy birthday Menora xx

Happy Birthday @Menora

@Menora

Wishing you a great day and coming year

Happy Birthday Menora

@MummyGoingItAlone
It might just be me but why is he being 'punished' for being busy?

I know you said its lighthearted but you're ignoring him because he was busy and didnt message.

People do have lives outside of dating/relationships and if you've ever put fencing up you'll know how utterly exhausting it is so maybe he really was too busy and shattered to message.

You could have messaged again even if it broke the last text rule you follow.

Life is too short for lighthearted mind games.

Just to echo menora's harsh but kind advice, onesmallstep I don't think either of them can give you fully what you want in the long run. Very difficult to call it off though with the "what if?" niggling.
Happy birthday, menora

Hi all ! I’ve not been on for months now, hope everyone is doing ok especially the lockdown regulars. For those who remember I was seeing mr g from the end of last year and then lockdown hit and I was having a big wobble over his communication etc. We eventually met up around end of May (slightly before it was allowed but we assessed our own situations). Once we met up every was great , first time we talked all night both of us had worries and insecurities and other problems with family and work etc etc. I was doing a lot of over thinking and worrying about nothing. We can only see each other once a week due to kids and work but there’s a lot of love between us and total openness and trust. We’ve met each other kids just as friends on a walk ‘accidentally’ in the park at the same time and that was great.

Thanks all

That’s lovely @Jane1978xx glad it’s going well

I stupidly replied hours later just ‘thanks’ and he didn’t reply. I am relieved he hasn’t replied but really annoyed I bothered to acknowledge it. My British politeness took over

Glad things are going well @Jane1978xx and you got past your lockdown blip.

I just popped on to say hi too. Me and Mr Ad are coming up to a year soon. Very happy and can't believe how quickly it's gone.

How is everyone else getting on? @shitwithsugaron, @JeSuisPrest, @Ant330

@menora I'm with you on British politeness. Missed mobile number calls always end up getting a sorry I missed your call text even if I missed it deliberately because I didn't recognize the number. I'm now stuck being called the wrong name by a neighbor because I was too polite to tell them that wasn't my name. Queue me ignoring them when they are saying my 'new' name across an empty street and only after 4 or 5 times of them saying it realising they are talking to me.

@Dancerinthemoonlight that’s so funny! Why do we do it to ourselves?

Happy birthday @Menora

Another happy update, this time from me. 17 months with MrGN, living together part-time now and just loving every minute. He makes me feel desired, admired, secure and - well, loved in every way. He is such a sweet man. He’s even started doing a bit of DIY for me, not that I expected it at all. And I just want to make him feel happy and secure after years of being under-loved. Not what I was expecting from 20 minutes on Fabswingers! He asked me to marry him again this morning (during sex 😂) and for the first time I thought ‘ooo, there’s a thought...’

No doubt it will all go tits up now I’ve written this down 😂

@TigerDater
Fab update ( get it)

Mr GN sounds great and I'm so pleased life is going well for you both.

I'm another one in a Fab relationship....10months and counting.

All hail Fab

Indeed, all hail to the swingers of fab. It’s a funny old world, as Jack Sparrow would say.

@crazycatlady20 are you feeling a bit less jangled now, and happy to be exclusive with Mr Positive? You had quite a rollercoaster time there.

Very happy birthday @Menora

@TigerDater I know, I suppose I will just have to get in with the Christmas card first. Mr S thinks it is hilarious and why didn't I just say something. He doesn't quite get being overly British as he is from the Caribbean.
At the weekend he said what are we doing tomorrow. I have never been a we before, even in previous relationships ☺️

I am so bad for this. I feel bad for people easily so I end up being too polite. In fact texting back ‘thanks’ and not adding ‘great thanks how are you?’ Was painful 😂

Happy Birthday @Menora

@Sunshineandflipflops I'm fine thanks, nothing dating related to report other than declining MissB's request to try again a couple of weeks ago. My mates assumed I'd be straight back on Tinder but I just have no interest in starting dating again for the time being. Not sure why but probably no bad thing to take a bit of time to forget her good points so I'm not comparing.

Glad to hear all is going well with MrAd as you approach your 1st anniversary, and lovely updates to read from @Jane1978xx and @TigerDater

Happy Birthday @Menora - I hope you are spoiling yourself or being spoiled this evening 😊
Great updates from posters who are in successful relationships - it’s just lovely to hear. Especially when you are in the angsty ‘what is this’ stage with someone! Beacons of hope

@Ant330 MissB...not MissH/hair (I think that was her name)?

@Sunshineandflipflops MissB and H are one and the same, JeSuis suggested a rename to MissBoomerang due to the number of times we were off and on again

Wasn't she Miss B Hair @Sunshineandflipflops ?

@Menora Hope the remaining four hours of your birthday are great.

Nice to hear the examples of where everything is going right especially through a very difficult time for everyone. You're all keeping me hopeful