I’m a family law barrister - AMA

[Paperlantern123]

It’s a sweltering Friday in lockdown, my work is all done for the day, and I though this might be a fun thing to do while I lie on my sofa drinking an iced coffee and trying not to melt! I’ve seen them done before and they look quite interesting

I’m a fully qualified barrister in London, specialising in private children matters, matrimonial finance, and domestic violence. I’d like to think I’m the proverbial MN Shit Hot Lawyer (TM) but you’d have to ask my clients...

I would be happy to answer any questions you might have - about my job, my experiences of working in family law, etc. I can’t offer specific advice, because so much varies from case to case, but I can certainly try and offer general guidance. Go on, ask my anything!

Another one about whether in your experience there are default assumptions about child arrangements, that children will normally spend more time with their mum? And what sort of factors you find it takes for the Court to change the status quo? Interested as a (male) friend whose children continued to live with him after the separation and divorce, is facing an application to court from his ex for an order that the children live with her now, several years later. He's fearful of social assumptions that young children "should" be with mum, colouring the outcome.

There’s a thread in step-parents that it would be great for you to give advice on.

[quote Normalmumandwife]@Paperlantern123

What is your hourly rate plus VST?
Where does that sit in the charging range for similar barristers?
What is the typical bill for a contested financial case that gets either near court or is settled at court?

Ask as I see these questions a lot on MN

Thanks. [/quote]
Unlike solicitors, barristers rarely work on an hourly basis - a fixed fee per hearing is more usual. I am relatively junior (less than 5 years call) but at a highly regarded London chambers. My fees are around £850 for a simply directions hearing; around £1,000 per day for a trial. (That obviously includes all of my preparation, too.) I expect this to increase significantly as I get more senior, especially in the next few years. Barristers in my chambers who are more senior could charge 4 times that; silks more like 10 times!!
So in answer to your question about a contested financial remedies case - it’s truly ‘how long is a piece of string?’ It depends on the complexity of the case, the size of the assets, the prestige of the firm, the seniority of the solicitors and barristers, whether the case goes all the way to final hearing or settles early...

@Tsarboretum

What are the most common reasons you see for divorce?

Oh, you see everything. Adultery isn’t as common as you would think. It’s normally parties growing apart, becoming friends rather than romantic partners. But other common factors are mid-life crises, bereavement, mental health issues, drug or alcohol addictions, empty nest after the children have left home, abuse... Almost every client is convinced that their ex is a narcissist or a sociopath. The funny thing is that I guarantee that if you asked their ex, they would say exactly the same.

@Ceara

Another one about whether in your experience there are default assumptions about child arrangements, that children will normally spend more time with their mum? And what sort of factors you find it takes for the Court to change the status quo? Interested as a (male) friend whose children continued to live with him after the separation and divorce, is facing an application to court from his ex for an order that the children live with her now, several years later. He's fearful of social assumptions that young children "should" be with mum, colouring the outcome.

Again, the real question is what is in the best interests of the children. I would want to know what arrangements are in place, what the children’s current contact is with mum, why dad has had main care until now, the ages of the children, what they want... I don’t think he should be too concerned about societal assumptions about the role of the mother versus the father. I think the court will more be thinking along the lines of: contact with both parents is probably in these children’s interests, but it’s probably not in the children’s best interests to disrupt the status quo when they have a well established home with dad.

@nibdedibble

Do you ever see cases where the wife has left the family unit, and is she required to pay maintenance in the same way as we are used to seeing absent fathers (sometimes not) paying?

I have never heard of a woman paying maintenance and I wondered if women are legally exempt or have less high expectations put on them?

I’m genuinely struggling to think of a case of mine where this has happened... there’s no reason it shouldn’t but I haven’t come across one. In my experience, if there’s an ‘absent mother’ it’s always been because of an issue like drug or alcohol abuse, which means that she’s not in a position to pay child maintenance anyway. But in theory, there is nothing to stop a mother paying maintenance to a father - she’s certainly not legally exempt!!

Thankyou so much for doing this thread.

What top three tips would you give to people about to divorce, with children? (I am about to divorce my horribly financially abusive husband.)

@UniversalAunt

Matrimonial finance : during divorce process, have you come across case law where debts (credit cards, loans etc) taken out by a wife without the husbands permission have been transferred to the wife as part of the finance settlement of the divorce?

We’re the pair not married, it seems that this would be straightforward ID fraud &/or fraud. But as they are married, this is not the case.

The unsolicited debts taken out in his name are legally his. Do these debts get split 50/50 as a marital asset (although a negative cash sum) or are there instances where a challenge has been made in court & the full debt transferred to the person who took out the products & used the monies for their own benefit?

So what you’re getting at here is really something that would be considered under s25(g) of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973: conduct of the parties. Were the husband to plead conduct successfully, then yes, the debts could be attributed to the wife. But the reality is that in the vast majority of cases, there just isn’t enough money to go around, and so conduct isn’t a relevant factor. The court’s priority will be to rehouse the parties. Just as an example: if the family home is sold with equity of £300k, and the parties each need a minimum of £140k to rehouse themselves, and there are debts like you’ve referenced of £20k... they would normally be shared equally, because to do otherwise would be to leave one party unable to rehouse. Of course, if the parties have many millions, it’s quite a different matter...

Thank you for answering. That's what I thought! I was wondering why the court didn't order maintenance to be paid (no drug/alcohol abuse or other mitigating factors) as they would have done if the father had left. I'm glad it's rare.

When a couple are divorcing and in agreement with finances will the court insist on a different settlement? I.e pensions separate and each keep their own money? (no kids,all fairly amicable just want to end marriage and crack on)

Do you have any idea who is above cafcass?! Because quite frankly I’m about ready to lose my shit 😤

Posters on Mumsnet are often advised that courts rarely award spousal maintenance, preference is for a clean break. Is that true in your experience?

@Bunchofbarnacles

Posters on Mumsnet are often advised that courts rarely award spousal maintenance, preference is for a clean break. Is that true in your experience?

Judges have a statutory obligation to consider whether a case is suitable for a clean break - i.e. if it’s possible for there to be a clean break, they should order it. That’s not to say that spousal maintenance is never awarded, but it’s certainly rarer than it was, say, 5 or 10 years ago. Times have changed, and judges are far more reluctant to order it now - if they do, it’s typically for a short term.

@Dazedandconfused10

When a couple are divorcing and in agreement with finances will the court insist on a different settlement? I.e pensions separate and each keep their own money? (no kids,all fairly amicable just want to end marriage and crack on)

The parties can lodge a consent order, and the court can approve it. If there’s something very unusual about the order, or the court is not convinced that it is fair, it can postpone approving the consent order while it hears from the parties and makes sure they understand what they’re agreeing to. Usually in the circumstances you describe - no kids, maybe a short marriage, similar capital - they’ll just allow it.

This is a lovely thread, thank you for starting it!

My (poor) experiences of Family court are making me want to do a phd looking at how the family court system enables further abuse by perpetrators in some circumstances. I've spoken to some other lawyers who say that the accusations of parental alienation are becoming problematic, and more women are losing custody when their exes have alleged PA. are there any other hot topics that you think could do with some research??

Thank you for doing this thread.

In terms of spousal support, would it be awarded to a wife who gave up her career to move abroad do her husband could take a better job; and then became a SAHM because she couldn't work in that country? I know you can't comment on a specific case but is this the type of situation where it might be awarded?

In your experience, how likely is a judge to order alternative weekends of a 1 year old if access has been sparse through out that year? After being originally advised it was likely 2 years old, I am now being advised to drop it and agree to it straight away to save a final hearing. Ex is very unlikely to agree to anything that isn't what he has asked for and as the fees for the final hearing are unmanageable, I'm trying to figure out if I should push on with my request and self represent or give in.

What advice would you give to a woman considering divorce when there are significant property assets, some of which are owned through a company in another European country? What advice would you give before she started the ball rolling and even consulted a solicitor?

@Paperlantern123 Thank you for your help. Much appreciated.

In my life before dc I was a successful city solicitor specialising in a niche area of contract law working for a silver circle firm. Am currently a SAHM. I have a strong desire to become a family law barrister. What chance do I have? Is there much of a need or are there too many of you? Would it cost an arm and a leg? I was told that I was pretty shit hot at advocacy at law school by the barrister training us and that I would end up being a barrister whether I thought I would or not

Sorry, did I kill the thread?

Thanks for doing this interesting thread.

I have a few questions please;

It seems to me that there are some flaws in the system. Eg. Following our FDR, as a small part of our Consent Order, my ex was supposed to sell an asset of ours and split the proceeds with me. He didn't do it. Short of taking him back to court there wasn't much I could do about it. Basically unless someone does what the Order says, there isn't a way of enforcing it without incurring more cost? (it was a long while ago now so I'm not planning on doing anything, but just wondering how enforceable these things actually are?).

Is ongoing spousal maintenance still a thing or has it mostly been phased out? (in the case of high earners & SAHM)

Thank you :)

Saint, what about becoming a family solicitor? You wouldn't have to convert then. There are plenty of advocacy opportunities. I like the fact that as a solicitor I have a holistic experience. I work with client from start to finish. The barrister comes and goes and you can't always get the same one. We do most of the client interfacing, all the preparation and direction of the case. In more complex cases, or ones with particularly difficult tactical considerations, we sometimes bring the barrister in at an early stage.

@OP when I first started practicing barristers didn't charge by the hour. But whenever I've sought a brief fee quote in the last 10 years approx I've always been told there is an hourly rate and the fee is strictly based on that. I practiced in London for 15 years and provincially for 10 but still do a lot of work in/near London and using London chambers.

Pineapples, take him to court. You'll win costs if it's simple enforcement and he has no leg to stand on!

Where is the best place online I can find advice about creating legal guardianship for our dc if both Dh and I were to die, if we both feel very strongly that certain family members should have no contact with our children? Basically we want to assign guardianship to our friends upon our death while also barring close family from contact with them (they currently have no contact with our dc but they’re assholes and rich, so would probably cause trouble if we were off the scene).