I’m a family law barrister - AMA

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It’s a sweltering Friday in lockdown, my work is all done for the day, and I though this might be a fun thing to do while I lie on my sofa drinking an iced coffee and trying not to melt! I’ve seen them done before and they look quite interesting

I’m a fully qualified barrister in London, specialising in private children matters, matrimonial finance, and domestic violence. I’d like to think I’m the proverbial MN Shit Hot Lawyer (TM) but you’d have to ask my clients...

I would be happy to answer any questions you might have - about my job, my experiences of working in family law, etc. I can’t offer specific advice, because so much varies from case to case, but I can certainly try and offer general guidance. Go on, ask my anything!

Have you been in situations where you’ve considered that your client is in some ways abusive or that he or she shouldn’t get what they’re asking for? If so does it make you feel conflicted or do you compartmentalise your own views on a client?

How would you respond if your client gave out all the signs of being an extremely skilled domestic abuser, but had been so good at it, the other party has very little chance of being able to get a judgement that represents what has actually gone on, rather than the gaslighted and twisted account your client gives you?

In other words, do you still Shit Hot Lawyer on behalf of an abuser?

@Onceuponatimethen

In hindsight feel I should have insisted on a prenup

There's always divorce well in advance of inheriting. Seriously. It does sound like he has his eyes on the prize.

@WutheringTights - the reality is that it’s extremely tough to get pupillage, and without it, you’re not able to practice as a barrister. Every year, there are around 4,000 people finishing the Bar course, applying for around 400 pupillages - bear in mind they’re also competing with people who finished the previous year, and the year before that, etc., as well as people (like me) who make their application prior to starting Bar school. As you can see, that’s a huge bottle neck. Even more difficult is that some of those people just don’t have a strong application, but an awful lot do - so you may have great academics, extra-curriculars, experience, but so does almost everyone else. It’s exceptionally tough, and I consider myself very very lucky. I know of some career changers, but more people in their late 20s/early 30s (typically pre-children.) If you’re serious, I would seek out barristers with a similar trajectory, and get in touch to ask them if they have any views - the worse they can do is ignore you.

@Gnarlytoe - I actually didn’t study law at university originally, I studied a different subject and then did the conversion degree, so maybe I’m not best placed to comment. My view though is that law is a well respected degree, even if you choose to do something else. Ultimately, I would say just go to the best university you can, for the best subject you can, and then you leave many doors open.

Do judges actually care at all what the divorce petition says i.e adultery and does it influence their decision in any way?

I divorced in the 1980's and had it not been for legal aid I'd be dead now, my ex husband would have killed me. I could never have afforded the continuous injunctions and child custody battle that went on for 5 years. I actually feel quite sick thinking of what women have to go through now if their husband is really difficult, frightening and determined to make life difficult.

How can women possibly represent themselves if they have no money in situations like these?

How do you cope with representing a client when what they what is legal but ( in your opinion) immoral ?

Eg a client who hides assets to impoverish his children or ex or who avoids supporting his children, moves assets off shore or goes ‘ self employed ‘.

My area is often recruiting magistrates for the family courts. If somebody is interested in becoming a magistrate (not me! a friend) would you recommend the family courts or are they particularly harrowing?

Not answering in order here, but @user1493413286 and @MitziK have just asked very similar questions and I think it’s an interesting one...

I have an obligation to represent my clients to the very best of my ability, regardless of my own personal views. Under the Bar Standards Board ethical code, I operate under a cab rank rule - meaning, I have to represent anyone who requests my services (as long as I am competent to do so.) I also have to act on instructions - meaning that I have to present the case that my client asks me to (as long as they don’t instruct me to lie, and I can explain that more if you like, because it’s an interesting distinction.)

In reality, this means that there have been times where I have represented people who I have felt sure are abusive. It has been deeply unpleasant, but I have had to do my best for them. I’ve gone home and wondered whether justice has been served, but also that the decision was ultimately up to the judge.

Did you choose your specialism?
How long did it take to find a pupilage?
How many days a week on average are you in court?
How long does it take you to read into a case before the directions hearing?
Any top advocacy tips? I'm a fairly newly qualified solicitor and am interested in becoming a solicitor advocate in the future. Do you have any advice?
Do you often advise the party you represent to settle asap rather than incur the hearing costs etc? (As in, in the same way we would in a civil matter).

Do you think some Judge's can tell when a Barrister is representing a client who the Barrister actually finds abusive/ reprehensible/ unreasonable? Does it show in the Barrister's demeanour and does this affect the Judge's decision?

Are you assessed on how many cases you win, and if you win any difficult cases? e.g. if you won a case where probably the decision should have gone against you, does that add to the Barrister's prestige and status?

I often read on Mumsnet that situations regarding child arrangements have changed in that dads are now granted 50/50 access unless there's a safeguarding issue or similar. How true is this in your experience as IRL I still see EOW as being the default arrangement?

In reality, this means that there have been times where I have represented people who I have felt sure are abusive. It has been deeply unpleasant, but I have had to do my best for them. I’ve gone home and wondered whether justice has been served, but also that the decision was ultimately up to the judge.

Caveat: I'm in the USA.

Why can you not simply 'fire' the client you believe to be abusive? Here a lawyer in a private practice can choose which clients to accept and which to refuse service to.

Obvs if they are called upon by a judge to act as a public defender in a criminal case they cannot refuse.

In your experience, is the quality of service, advice and representation of legal aid solicitors and barristers the same quality as private? If not the same, is it still "good enough"?

Or is it worth trying to scratch the money together for a private solicitor and barrister - even if eligible for legal aid?

If a party to schedule 1proceedings breaches an undertaking to pay back money, what is the Court realistically likely to do and is the debt counted like a county court debt would. ie is it a court of record so would impact their credit rating? thanks in advance

@madcatladyforever - no, the particulars of the divorce petition are not relevant at all. A lot of people think they are, and are therefore reluctant to admit to adultery, or what to challenge the particulars of their ‘unreasonable behaviour’, but the judge dealing with the finances honestly couldn’t care less - it probably hasn’t registered with them at all.

Why are judges so relaxed about DC being around illegal drug taking?

During a hearing it was brought to the judge's attention that my DC (10 +11) were not only exposed to drug use but also shown how to prepare by ExDP and their DSM. ExDP confirmed to the judge this was true.

Judge ASKED ExDP if he could TRY not to take drugs in front of the DC. ExDP agreed he will TRY. Matter closed!

Matrimonial finance : during divorce process, have you come across case law where debts (credit cards, loans etc) taken out by a wife without the husbands permission have been transferred to the wife as part of the finance settlement of the divorce?

We’re the pair not married, it seems that this would be straightforward ID fraud &/or fraud. But as they are married, this is not the case.

The unsolicited debts taken out in his name are legally his. Do these debts get split 50/50 as a marital asset (although a negative cash sum) or are there instances where a challenge has been made in court & the full debt transferred to the person who took out the products & used the monies for their own benefit?

@ComeOnEileen11- I chose family law because I wanted to be in court and on my feet advocating a lot, but not necessarily everyday like in criminal court. I also found the morale at the criminal bar to be so low, largely because of the cuts to legal aid. Family law promised all the human interest and excitement of criminal law, but in a more manageable way, and much better paid. Typically I’m in court about 3 times a week, and on the other days, I’m prepping/following up those cases. 4 times in a week is when I start to get really stressed and overwhelmed, but it does sometimes happen.
I am very lucky in that I succeeded in getting pupillage my first year in applying for it. I had taken a lot of time before applying thought to ensure I would be in that position - legal voluntary roles, etc.
Advocacy tips: I think it can be a bit of a natural thing, you either really enjoy public speaking or hate it! But anyone can improve. Volume, clarity and pace are key. Almost everybody speaks too fast. Mooting, debating, (or at work, doing presentations) can help you improve. Also just going to court a lot and watching excellent advocates, learning from them.
As for advising parties to settle: yes, of course. I would so much rather my clients settle and get a result that they can live with, then fight on to a point where it’s not proportionate. To go to a final hearing is exceptionally rare in family proceedings, because due to the costs, it’s just so rarely worth it.

@AcrossthePond55 - because of my ethical obligations as a barrister - the cab rank rule in particular. It sounds difficult, but I think it’s an excellent system: everyone has a right to legal representation, regardless of how unlikeable they are, what they may have done, etc.

Do you do public law/care proceedings too?

@Ispywithmycynicaleye - I’m surprised to hear that - in my experience, judges do take drug abuse in front of children very seriously indeed. I’m afraid without knowing the specifics of your case, I can’t comment further.

@conduitoffortune - no I don’t. It’s extremely specialised, and very different from the work I do. To be honest, I didn’t even apply to chambers that do care work - I think I would find it too personally difficult.

Hi OP, would you ever advise a person (woman or man) who owns significant assets, eg property, to marry someone who owns none?

Hello

If a divorce is processed with no clean break or consent order purely because one of the spouses was frightened and just wanted it done as soon as possible, is it possible for that spouse to apply for a reassignment of a social housing tenancy and child or spousal support at a later date? There's no clean break or consent order in place. It was just a straightforward divorce and getting him to agree to that was difficult enough!

Thank you.