If you are the more conventionally attractive partner, are you happier?

[HotSince82]

My mum always told me half jokinglynever to marry a man who is objectively better looking than me. Admittedly she had her fingers burned with my very physically attractive but rather objectionable philandering father. Conversely, my stepdad who was absolutely nothing to look at but a thoroughly lovely man, treated her extremely well, sort of worshipped her really. They were blissfully happy until he sadly died ten years ago.

Do you think my mum's theory holds any weight? Are you treated better on the whole by men who aren't quite as attractive as you?
Do attractive men think they have more leverage in a relationship and therefore treat you less favourably?

Yup it's totally true. Although if you can find Someone where you're equally attractive & cant keep your hands off each other, that works too. In my opinion & experience, men who think they are the better looking half of the relationship are vain.

Really unattractive men have treated me the worst. Insecurity maybe?

I often seen ugly blokes with beautiful women and I just don’t get it. Sure they might be lovely people but I’d rather go out with someone who is lovely AND hot

My dh is definitely the more attractive of the two of us - he’s also 7 years younger. We have a great relationship and I am treated amazingly. I don’t think that’s because of how either of us look but just because he’s not an asshole. Everyone who knows him would categorically describe him as one of the nicest, most honest people they know. He’s just a good person. But our age difference probably does help because I snapped him up at 21. I don’t think he would have been single for long otherwise.

I think DH is objectively better looking than I , he thinks I'm objectively better looking than he is. Works for us 😁

20 years ago DH was the more in love and I was more attractive. Didn't stop him from turning into an emotional abusive jerk post kids. It's hard to really know someone before you've been through stressful times together. A lot of abusers don't show themselves pre DC. And it's hard to truly know what someone's going to be like when faced with the stresses and challenges of life. I could never imagine what the seemed like a great guy I met at 20 would become. No matter how well you know someone long term relationships are always a leap if faith.

Some men are beautiful and have no idea. Some men are cocky and supremely confident but nothing to look at physically. I think you should go by personality and not looks.

My partner has no idea how good looking he is. Despite having done modelling. He doesnt give a shit about appearances. It's really refreshing!

As a beautiful black woman, I’m a lot more attractive than my DH. I’m the one who gets the admiring glances when we’re out and about. He’s very secure in himself though and we have a solid and faithful relationship.

I wholeheartedly agree with your Mum.

never date anyone more attractive than you.
Men hold the cards in so many other areas, as soon as you date or marry one that knows they are better looking, forget it, they hold the power. This is coming from somebody that considers themselves attractive too.
xx

My DH is definitely better looking than me, he's got an absolutely beautiful face, though he'd argue that one cos he thinks he's a minger(he's definitely not). I'm much more confident than him though and I turn heads because of it. I think I'm punching, he thinks he's punching... It's a win win.
It's all subjective though isn't it? His ex wife left him for someone who looks like Meatloaf

I have only been out with about 2 men who were properly model type and I was way out of my league

They were both pretty rubbish in bed, maybe felt they didn't need to try?

Anyway. Small sample!

DH was reasonably attractive, I don't think I am but he said I was beautiful. I think that basically shows that attractiveness is.subjective, and you can consider yourselves equally matched in looks, but others may think one or the other of you is hotter - it isn't an indicator really. But we were so happy, it was his charm and humour that made me fall for him even though he was handsome as well. And his kindness.

Ops wording sounds like incels, "high value" and "men arevisually driven" are the sort of shite incels trot. Every few months we get a post along the lines of "basically your worth as a woman is fertile, young and hot".

@Jajarolo nowhere did I mention 'high value' or allude to age.

Men are visually driven. Stating this doesn't make me some involuntarily celibate bloke.

I would suggest the the idea that men are more 'visually driven' than women is pretty a pretty dubious claim and one that gives men free rein to ogle women and girls, and in the past have page 3, lads mags, and of course young attractive women plastered all over adverts, 'booth babes' etc etc

Remember the peanuts in pubs.

Buy more peanuts and eventually you'll see her tits!

Awesome.

[quote HotSince82]@Prayerwheel not always, no. However I do think that men on the whole place a disproportionate emphasis on looks, compared to women.
I do also believe that a man will love and value a woman more if he believes her to be beautiful/attractive etc. Other things are obviously important but men don't tend to fall in love unless they are overwhelmimgly physically attracted to a woman.

I am aware this is possibly going to be an unpopular opinion.[/quote]
It's along the incels narrative of high value meat woman.

@ShinyFootball the very fact that by your own assessment, men are the sex who seek to engage in such activities kind of refutes your point.

@ Jajarolo men place 'high value' your term, on physical appearances.

I don't think you need to be an incel to have noticed this.

I, being a woman do not conclude that a woman's value necessarily correlates with her physical attractiveness.
They are visually stumulated, honestly a quick google/bing/duckduck go will avail you of the numerous studies which support my assertion.

Lol are you quite serious?

Entirely.

See above.

Yeah for sure boybands are rough as all fuck, and women and girls go bonkers for people like Johnnie Depp and Brad Pitt (when they were young, showing my age!) because of their personalities

You think men leering at girls is a given because of their visual driven whatever.

You don't think much of men do you.

I didn't say looks are immaterial to women.

I said men are more visually stimulated. See porn/lap dancing bars etc for men while all the women were off reading fifty shades of sodding grey.

There's a reason for such differences, you know?