Is height really important ?

[fortunacookie]

Had a social distance date with a guy yesterday. Was a little disappointed to see he looked shorter than the 5'11 that was on his profile (I'm 5'7 so quite tall) but then when we got talking I found him a nice person and we seemed to get on great.

Just wondered others thoughts on height and those who have a partner what are your heights ? Does it bother you ?

Fine to have a *preference not prescence !

Im 5ft 2 so generally not many men shorter than me , dh is 6'1 i used to like taller men but nowadays i would day personality and how they behave are better traits than height , looks etc

@StarScream22

I don’t think the lying would bother me too much. Most fat women hide their weight in their profiles, I think it’s the same thing.

That is infurating but I'm getting good at spotting them. You're just wasting everyones time with that carry on.

@StarScream22 I don’t agree because if someone literally writes 5”8 and is 5”2 that is a bold faced lie

Taking photos at better angles/not full body shots is misleading yes, but you’re not writing “size 10 sports freak!” And rocking up & obviously not that. Or if you had photoshopped your head onto another body that would be most deceptive & a straight up lie - it would go a step further than just flattering angles & poses

@tossacoin
Im short but never been a size 10 and dh is 6ft
And yes your right to discount everyone who isn't over a certain height is mad in the long run
I think when we meet the right person though we forget a lot of this and chemistry etc takes over ,my dh certainly never ticked every wish box and im sure im was the same for him but 20 years later here we still are
I had a friend who said would never date anyone who didnt have an amazing job with large salary , she dated plenty and was upset by many
Now happily married to a tradesmen not the big exec she planned

It's funny cos if I'm in a bar and I get chatting to a guy slightly taller than me I'm fine with it as I can see him in full but online dating I can't get past the height....stupid really

I'll hold my hand up here and say that it used to really bother me and I was quite adamant I would never go out with someone who wasn't tall as my previous relationships have been with much taller men. I'm 5ft 5'.

My partner is little over my height and if I'd have met him via OLD, then I would have honestly passed him by because he doesn't tower over me. Thankfully we met via friends and just hit it off. No he's not tall and overly handsome, but he is the right person for me after having some shitty previous relationships. We click on many levels and the height thing is just a non-issue.

I'm 5'4 my partner is 5'5. I've dated guys up to 6'3.

My OH is perfect. We have the best relationship. Height never came into it.

@fortunacookie so if you meet someone if certain height in real life it is no issue? Or you are just “fine” with it? Why are you dating people who are physically just “fine” to you? Stop doing that. Go for who really gets your engine revving.

If you do genuinely have no issue with a certain height in real life situations it means you are clicking with them because they look cute in the face, cool personality etc. so why are you not looking for blokes who match this online ? Why would you see a profile with a cute guy & reject him because he was not 6 foot ? If he is within a height range you would usually accept in real life?

That does seem shallow, like you think you can do better online that what you can get in real life - a lot of “nice guys” have this perception issue - keep getting rejected but they are trying to punch above their weight

I don’t wish to insult you, am just confused by your comment that what is ok in real life is unacceptable on tinder et al

Pink monkey your post gives me hope then

What I'm really getting out of this thread is that online dating is a terrible way to meet someone and we should all stick to offline dating.

“ I won't go near anyone over a size 10.”

How do you know someone is a size 10? You can go in 4 different shops and come out with 4 different clothes sizes...

Vikingwife I know I think I have made some mistakes regarding online dating I realise that now ...I wouldn't have even give this guy a chance had I known his real height and he ticked other boxes as I found on the date. I like the way he smiles which you can't project in a picture and he talked so fondly of his father who in a care home and so been unable to see him he was so sad about it and I felt for him.

I'm really short, and up until recently, i'd always been with short guys. not deliberately, but perhaps something subconscious? but my two most recent partners have both been 6ft plus. sometimes i catch sight of us in a reflection and giggle at how hilarious we look, especially if i've got flats on.

It's up to you whether it's important. If you're not attracted to men shorter than a certain height then that's just how you are. You're not under a duty to be attracted to people irrespective of their physical features, after all it is a physical attraction.

Everyone on OLD burnishes reality to some extent, be it a photo taken from a flattering angle or on an unusually good hair day, putting yourself in the "a few extra pounds" category rather than the "large" one, or quickly reading The Economist the night before the date so that you'll come across as the sophisticate you claimed to be on your profile, instead of someone who watches people falling off skateboards on YouTube all day. Where you draw the line between this and outright lies is quite subjective really. If a woman turned up to a date looking like she'd put on 5kg since her pictures were taken I wouldn't feel cheated, but at 20kg I probably would, perhaps the same applies to height exaggerations.

I was married to a guy 6' 2" and I'm 5'2" . Since then I have discovered the joy of men who are more about the 5'9' mark . Best sex I have ever had - kissing so much better and never believe the correlation between size of feet etc

I've never dated anyone under 6 foot I think I have a definite type and tallness is def one of the traits i look for!

This is a sore point for me, my DS is 15 has a developmental delay due to malnutrition caused by a health condition (he has cystic fibrosis) and the one thing the hormone boosters haven't helped so far is height. He's not going to be much taller than 5ft at this rate and I'm terrified of him constantly being rejected off the bat because of this.

I prefer shorter men. I'm 5ft 4 and tall men put me off. I don't know why but I feel uncomfortable with men over 5ft 10.

Almost all the men I've ever dated have been 5ft 5 - 5ft 9.

We all have preferences. I think it's fine to want someone taller than you, just the same as to want someone who is a particular physical shape, or doesn't smoke, or drink, or whatever.

I once went on a (blind) date with a man who was the height and build of a jockey. Nice man but I couldn't find him in any way attractive or manly, especially given his hands were smaller than mine. It would have felt like dating a child.

My ds was offered testosterone treatment as he had a constitutional delay of puberty. He was keen, but I was advised it would restrict his height potential, so it’s not always worth it.

I am very glad I took the advice to just be patient as he’s finally getting really tall, and I know he would’ve been very self conscious if he’d stayed at 5’6 or so.

In 5'0 and my guy is 6'2. I seem to attract tall men but I'm not complaining

I'm 5"7 so quite tall and I don't care about height at all. I am shallow about other stuff though - I love a hairy chest and I don't like fat men.

It depends what you find attractive, nobody else.

It's fine having whatever preferences you want, but people should at least be aware of how that restricts their potential dating pool. If you only fancy people over 6ft then straight away you have got rid of 85% of men.

I think in internet dating this comes to the fore even more, because people are just going by a series of set criteria, and height is such a common one, particularly the magic figure of 6ft. As the OP has said herself, in real life it's not so much of a thing. (I'm sure it still is for some people, but sooo many women online have a thing about dating tall men, and I don't think that is replicated to the same extent in real life.)

Add in that women are vastly more picky on tinder anyway, and you can see why a lot of men would inflate their height. (Not that I'm doing online dating, but if I was I'm not sure what height I should use. I'm 5'9, but apparently that's a red flag height, as is 5'11. So 5'10 I assume?) So much of online dating is presenting yourself in the best possible light, having the best photos, trying to appear funny etc. You can't really trust anything people say, or that their profile is a realistic impression.

Its OLD the issue. Just ticking boxes. In RL, I would have no idea how tall someone is just by looking at them.
Lying on profiles about height, weight, age and other is plain wrong though. If people are not getting dates, maybe OLD is not the right platform for them. Lying would only knock their confidence if rejected face to face and waste everybody’s time. It’s not a game / challenge as to who wins a date. It’s about finding a partner.