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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Embarrassingly greedy DH

886 replies

Ludicruss · 20/06/2020 19:25

Today, we had a socially distanced gathering for a handful of people in our garden. It was great, but I'd forgotten about the way DH behaves around food when we're entertaining in our own home.
I was serving the food myself to prevent the risk of any covid contamination, wearing gloves. DH goes to find something to do inside whilst I serve the food for everyone and myself. He reappears when everyone starts eating and serves his own plate. What he then does is finish EVERYTHING off, leaving no possibility for me to return to serve up seconds for anyone. I was mortified. His plate was over flowing and more than doubled everyone elses plate.
I could see him standing at the side of the garden eating away his mountain of food out of the corner of my eye, DM got up to see what was left when she had finished, clearly intending to have some more. But all of it had gone.
I had tipped 3 packets of crisps into one bowl and nobody had asked for any during the first time I was serving, when I looked into the bowl after DHs visit, there were around 8 crisps left in the bottom of it. He had demolished almost all of them.
There was a tiny piece of chicken left and a pitta bread which DM ate as she clearly hadn't finished eating ( she had only wanted a small amount on her plate originally). I was also still hungry.
I had made most of the food and I'm pissed off that my effort was wasted on him stuffing himself with it all.
I was utterly embarrassed.
I made a joke about him eating all the crisps and DH went extremely red in the face. He will no doubt call me out on it later on for embarrassing HIM!
He is very over-weight and embarrassed about it, but nobody is allowed to mention it or his eating habits. And yet he stuffed himself with all the food for the guests.

How do I broach this? I love entertaining, I have really missed it, but he spoilt it for me today.

He doesn't do this when he visits other peoples houses,just at ours.

If there is ever shared food on the table at regular meal times,he always seems to wait until we all have a bit on our plates and then eats everything that's left. Sometimes I find myself filling my own plate with too much before he dives in and eats it all. I rarely serve food this way in th3 evenings because of his greediness. But it can't be helped when entertaining.

What do I say to him?
It's ridiculous.

OP posts:
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PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 24/06/2020 16:00

About 2 chicken breasts each, unlimited pittas, maybe some form of potatoes and only one or two salads.

bruffin · 24/06/2020 16:04

I would have cooked a bigger variety of food as i have to cater for multi allergies, caeliac and a vegeterian and also like to give people choice and usual have enough left overs for dinner and lunch next day.

GimmeAy · 24/06/2020 16:18

Three/four chicken breasts per person? Really? So 18 to 24 chicken breasts? Wow.

GimmeAy · 24/06/2020 16:20

There were FIVE adults. Not a fucking army.

sonjadog · 24/06/2020 16:24

2 chicken breasts per person, 3 pittas per person with some more frozen and ready to warm if needed. Plus 3-4 large salads.

bruffin · 24/06/2020 16:24

GimmeYA
you were selective in your quoting

"I'd probably cook three/four per person and have the rest as leftovers."

I forgot to mention im half greek cypriot , we like to do a big spread

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 24/06/2020 16:29

GimmeAy, I might well, yes. It's not worth a 'wow' really. I tend to send guests home with leftovers too.

I might eat 1, 1.5 or 2, or none at all - depends how I feel. I won't be watching what other people are eating and I will never, ever say 'wow' at how many somebody wants to eat. If they are there and there are sufficient for them to eat them, then they are welcome to them. That's what hosting is as far as I'm concerned.

I'd no more make a guest (or spouse) feel badly about what they're eating than plunge my head into a bubbling deep fat fryer.

I posted my earlier post, MitziK posted hers and you come back with 'Wow'...?

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 24/06/2020 16:54

You can't ask people what they'd do and then go all wow /wide eyed faux innocence judging because their opinion/habits don't match yours.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 24/06/2020 17:32

You provide enough food and cater adequately, so you as the host don't have to take a small portion.

When I say enough food, I mean base it on everyone having a large appetite.

You don't need to take a small portion as the hostifyou provide enough food in the first place.

All this talk of 'you can get more food if you're still hungry after the guests leave' OR ..' make a sandwich etc' ...if you have to do this after inviting people for lunch/dinner in your house...then you simply didn't provide enough food.

Totally agree. If I'm a guest, it wouldn't make me feel welcomed to watch my hosts to go hungry and pick at a tiny plate while piling mine high! I wouldn't come back in a hurry because it would feel really shit, like I was depriving them. Do people really think this represents good hosting?

Guests get served first, but social eating is about everyone enjoying the food - including the host! The ideal social meal is where there is plenty for everyone and no one has to worry about the amount they choose to eat.

KaptainKaveman · 24/06/2020 17:41

Next time get a takeaway.

Soubriquet · 24/06/2020 18:01

You majorly under catered and made your dh feel completely ashamed of himself

Lovely

BorsetshireBlueBalls · 24/06/2020 18:03

In homage to this thread, I bought chicken breasts in the butcher this afternoon. Six of them, weighing in at a total of 2484 grams or 414 each on average. Those fuckers are huge. I will make two feed three adults (with the veg/salad and rice/whatever) and no-one is getting up hungry.

But it's not about the chicken! Anyway, think I"d better go and do something else now. I had had a good long detox from Mumsnet but lockdown eventually brought me creeping back, and I think I've had my fill (unlike OP's guests and husband - or did they?) for a while again yet.

Keep well, everyone!

SimonJT · 24/06/2020 18:11

For lunch today we had pitta, I make them in batches and defrost as I need them. I had four stuffed with veg curry, I then used a fifth to clean the curry bowl. Boyfriend had three and my son (5) had one and a bit.

Greedy bastards.

BrambleJam978 · 24/06/2020 18:15

I do BBQ style lunches once or twice a year ,(at the caravan) . There's around 18/20 people come so it is a lot different but I do the same thing as the OP and cater to each person

1 chicken breast each
1 burger/hot dog each (provide more than 0.5 each... Maybe 0.75 each)
A couple of little sausages/little chicken kebabs each
A couple of small sausage roll each
I will make probably half a sandwich each ( some people like it)
1 packet of crisps each
Massive bowl of salad to share ( just the one)
Cheese for the older guests ( some of them love cheese)

Just the one dessert ( usually individual cheesecakes)
Or fruit

Leftovers get given to them in silver foil or kept to feed us for the next few days at the caravan

People don't tend to eat again and it is a lot of food , I also provide a lot of drinks ( including alcoholic for those that don't drive)

We also play rounders, football etc so we are burning off some calories.

Anyway , I'm going to miss that this year

Off you go GimmeAy, there is masses to critisise in my post.

I'll tell you what I don't provide, nasty snide comments about my husband eating a plate of food.

I

MashedSpud · 24/06/2020 18:23

If this thread wasn’t so funny I’d be reporting it for sock puppeting.

Classic.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 24/06/2020 18:27

I bought chicken breasts in the butcher this afternoon. Six of them, weighing in at a total of 2484 grams or 414 each on average

If I wasn't a veggie I'd be asking where your butchers is - those are massive!

WaterOffADucksCrack · 24/06/2020 18:29

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe What are you on about juicy gossip? Projecting me thinks.

and if you'd seen the number of 'Ahem's' I've had in my time Ah a MN royalty type.

BorsetshireBlueBalls · 24/06/2020 18:30

Terrifying aren't they? Even the butcher commented. It's in East Dulwich in case any non-veggies want to check it out.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 24/06/2020 18:39

BorsetshirheBlueBalls, Ah, butchers chicken breasts are the best, aren't they? I find that with the supermarket ones, sometimes the fillet isn't there. They're quite a bit smaller anyway, yours sound incredible!

You just need to post a recipe for your rice Grin

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 24/06/2020 18:49

I cut mine up and flat them anyways. Then season, drop in flour, then egg then deep fry. Yumm.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 24/06/2020 19:03

YY PrincessConsuelaBananaHammock, Carluccio's used to have a fabulous sandwich with chicken Milanese... I'm trying to remember what was in it because it was delicious... and they are no more.

A ciabatta long roll spread with some sort of seasoned mayonnaise. Slices of tomato (thin) sort of squished into it (or maybe that was me?) - with rocket and other aromatic salad - then some crispy bacon and your chicken Milanese... divine.

My husband used to plead for me to buy these in bulk when I went to our office in Chiswick as Carluccio's was across the road.

Bluntness100 · 24/06/2020 19:06

and then eat a small amount themselves to make sure there was enough to offer seconds to those with larger appetites

I assume that’s due to financial constraints, and without those you’d just cook enough for everyone?

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 24/06/2020 19:13

Lying DD just calls it flat chicken . I call it chicken schnitzel .Grin I'm not winning any fancy points.

Try making it without the breadcrumbs.Fluffy and crispy.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 24/06/2020 19:16

We call it schnitzel as well (Austrian family). Antonio Carluccio was a bit posher about it but, flat chicken fried with breadcrumbs is just a rose by any other name, isn't it? Grin

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 24/06/2020 19:17

Ahh, without breadcrumbs you say, just noticed that. So it's like a lightly dusted fillet? Sounds very nice indeed.