Embarrassingly greedy DH

[Ludicruss]

Today, we had a socially distanced gathering for a handful of people in our garden. It was great, but I'd forgotten about the way DH behaves around food when we're entertaining in our own home.
I was serving the food myself to prevent the risk of any covid contamination, wearing gloves. DH goes to find something to do inside whilst I serve the food for everyone and myself. He reappears when everyone starts eating and serves his own plate. What he then does is finish EVERYTHING off, leaving no possibility for me to return to serve up seconds for anyone. I was mortified. His plate was over flowing and more than doubled everyone elses plate.
I could see him standing at the side of the garden eating away his mountain of food out of the corner of my eye, DM got up to see what was left when she had finished, clearly intending to have some more. But all of it had gone.
I had tipped 3 packets of crisps into one bowl and nobody had asked for any during the first time I was serving, when I looked into the bowl after DHs visit, there were around 8 crisps left in the bottom of it. He had demolished almost all of them.
There was a tiny piece of chicken left and a pitta bread which DM ate as she clearly hadn't finished eating ( she had only wanted a small amount on her plate originally). I was also still hungry.
I had made most of the food and I'm pissed off that my effort was wasted on him stuffing himself with it all.
I was utterly embarrassed.
I made a joke about him eating all the crisps and DH went extremely red in the face. He will no doubt call me out on it later on for embarrassing HIM!
He is very over-weight and embarrassed about it, but nobody is allowed to mention it or his eating habits. And yet he stuffed himself with all the food for the guests.

How do I broach this? I love entertaining, I have really missed it, but he spoilt it for me today.

He doesn't do this when he visits other peoples houses,just at ours.

If there is ever shared food on the table at regular meal times,he always seems to wait until we all have a bit on our plates and then eats everything that's left. Sometimes I find myself filling my own plate with too much before he dives in and eats it all. I rarely serve food this way in th3 evenings because of his greediness. But it can't be helped when entertaining.

What do I say to him?
It's ridiculous.

Bloody hell - some of these posts show me that people can show a very nasty side where food is involved.

Really nasty.

Re the pitta breads - a single portion one, which is 79 - Yeah, but he ate 3 'single portions'.

@GimmeAy

I"d start with asking why he didn't join the rest of you for lunch but went off on his own to eat on what you'd hoped would be a relaxed and happy occasion. Doesn't that seem odd to you? Does he feel uncomfortable around these particular people or more generally in company? Does he want to separate you from people you feel close to? Was he sulking about the occasion from the get-go and determined to make it awkward and people feel uncomfortable and unwelcome? I don't know where the aggression in this situation is coming from, but it does feel like there's a lot of aggression and frustration in it.

Nail on head - I had an ex like this. He made anything with anyone related to me so miserable as to make it just pointless. He wasn't shy - he was an abusive cunt who used to beat me up along with all the coercive control that goes with that.

Imo, the DH doesn't sound attractive remotely.

Sorry to hear you were in an abusive relationship, Gimme. Don't punish yourself by deliberately under eating, though, it's not good for you.

Even if he ate 1,900 - people do eat more than their daily allowance in some social situations and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

The concept of a feast, a special meal where you eat as much you wish, has been part of human culture for millennia. For all that people talk about gluttony being a deadly sin, feast days have always been part of the Christian religious calendar! And yet we're all expected to gasp in horror at a grown man eating between 1,000 and 2,000 calories for a meal? Jesus wept.

Being overweight does not mean he has to wear a hair shirt and subsist on lettuce leaves in public so that everyone is reassured that he's not the greedy kind of fat person. Yes, he could probably do with losing weight from the sound of it, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't be allowed a treat meal occasionally.

Don't punish yourself by deliberately under eating, though, it's not good for you.

LOL What a leap. Because I eat like a normal person, I'm punishing myself by undereating. I've never read such shite. I'm on the low side of a healthy weight thank you very much! I don't deny myself food. I'm just not a greedy cunt.

I'm just not a greedy cunt.

Nice.

Oh, ok. You're not a greedy cunt . You're not sounding so very attractive yourself, to be perfectly honest.
I'd rather spend time with a nice natured fat person than someone who cat calls greedy cunt at someone else enjoying a bbq.
Enjoy your solitary spoonful.

Sounds like the DH eats a feast every day.

What part of this critical piece of info did you lot miss?

He is very over-weight and embarrassed about it, but nobody is allowed to mention it or his eating habits. And yet he stuffed himself with all the food for the guests.

Op managed to embarrass him very well for someone not allowed to mention his eating habits.

I'd rather spend time with a nice natured fat person than someone who cat calls greedy cunt at someone else enjoying a bbq.
Enjoy your solitary spoonful.

I'd rather spend time with nice natured people who didn't eat every morsel meant for guests. It wasn't a bbq and I called nobody a greedy cunt. I said that I wasn't one. And yes, I'll enjoy eating normally. Thanks for the concern.

d rather spend time with nice natured people who didn't eat every morsel meant for guests.
OPs DH didnt eat every morsel meant for the guests . so other posters arent the only ones that missed critical information

I think you've had a hard time on this thread OP.

Posters are getting obsessed about the amount of chicken and bread, but with all the (filling) salads and desserts there was plenty of food for everyone.

The thing that people seem to be missing is not so much how much he ate but what he ate.

Ironically, a pp made a similar point near the start of the thread about a friend who had made a roast dinner with plenty of meat/potatoes and veg for all until one guests filled their plate with 10 roast potatoes and a huge amount of meat and nothing else

• leaving the other guests with plenty of veg but small portions of meat/potatoes.

It seems similar here.

Her DH filled his plate with chicken, crisps and bread - no salad.

It wasn't so much that he ate a ridiculous amount per se, but that he decimated specific items leaving everyone else without the opportunity of choice for seconds.

He could have eaten just a much but in a more balanced way so there was a selection left for everyone else to choose from.

That's what was rude about what he did.

It's like the people who go to the buffet first or self serve from the table and load up stupid amounts of one item that throws the balance of the catering off kilter (because no one is going to assume that one guest is going to eat 20 sausage rolls half an entire roast and 10 roast potatoes by way of example).

@GimmeAy

3 pitta breads are around 440 calories... Not 825 calories. This isn't a subjective fact. It is an actual fact.

Just keep making stuff up though, whatever suits your mood.

440 calories is enough for a lunch - that's just the pitta breads. Unless you're like the DH 'He is very over-weight ' at which case it is more than enough.

The man is A. very overweight and B. has no consideration for his guests - leaving guests hungry while he ate more than his fill.
Who could be attracted to that?

I know 440 calories was only the pitta bread ... It's not supposed to be this hard. You calculated 1900 calories on his plate , you were wrong by at least 500 calories.

Anyway the problem with this thread is the information that is given by the OP is contradictory. It doesn't make sense

She said it's a simple lunch with simple amounts for everyone .. does that sound like she ever planned for seconds?

There's more there but I'm not getting into it.

Have a good afternoon.

I just read what you said about the man having a 440 calorie lunch because he is overweight.... What is wrong with you?

You must be such hard work in real life, Gimme. Probably just as well you don't get many invitations to social gatherings.
Imagine having someone like you staring at peoples plates and sniffly informing them of the calorie count, while showing them your lettuce leaf to demonstrate what the plate of a non greedy cunt looks like.
Such fun.

Even if he had 1300 calories for the afternoon it is still well under the 2500 a day for men. I’m not sure what the issue is here. Bloke ate an extra chicken breast and a pitta, it is hardly greedy bastard territory.

Agree BrambleJam there are some posters with really disordered eating issues on the thread, it's incredible how wrong the information is too.

@GimmeAy

The 1900 kcals for lunch has shut you all up I see. Good.

You posted at 1:44pm, people were most likely eating their lunches

I think the OP and Gimme should be friends. I won't introduce them but I think they could really hit it off.

God, GimmeAy, you actually eat the food? I'd explode if I did that. I only have to sniff something to feel full. Last time I ate a crisp, I didn't feel like eating again until the next week!

leaving guests hungry while he ate more than his fill

Yeah, you’re right, how did we not see it, that extra chicken breast and pitta split six ways would have really filled them up, 🤣

Could OP be furious that DH got to the left over chicken pita first? Maybe she had plans to gorge on it after her family had left so no one would see her food orgy.

The confusion about DH 'hiding' in the garden was probably just him having a lie down behind a tree because he was unable to walk after his gargantuan 2.5 chicken pitta banquet.

I agree he was incredibly rude to serve himself the last of these dishes at a social function - it’s especially rude because it is his house & he could have snuck inside to fix himself a sandwich or something if he wasn’t full

I am also Italian & this type of thing simply wouldn’t happen. We don’t really do the whole counting portions eg 6 people so I will make 12 stuffed mushrooms - that’s 2 each, plenty !

My father still remembers the one time he went to an “Aussie” bbq and they only had 3 sausages & one lamb chop per person. He doesn’t like lamb so imagine he must have gone hungry