Embarrassingly greedy DH

[Ludicruss]

Today, we had a socially distanced gathering for a handful of people in our garden. It was great, but I'd forgotten about the way DH behaves around food when we're entertaining in our own home.
I was serving the food myself to prevent the risk of any covid contamination, wearing gloves. DH goes to find something to do inside whilst I serve the food for everyone and myself. He reappears when everyone starts eating and serves his own plate. What he then does is finish EVERYTHING off, leaving no possibility for me to return to serve up seconds for anyone. I was mortified. His plate was over flowing and more than doubled everyone elses plate.
I could see him standing at the side of the garden eating away his mountain of food out of the corner of my eye, DM got up to see what was left when she had finished, clearly intending to have some more. But all of it had gone.
I had tipped 3 packets of crisps into one bowl and nobody had asked for any during the first time I was serving, when I looked into the bowl after DHs visit, there were around 8 crisps left in the bottom of it. He had demolished almost all of them.
There was a tiny piece of chicken left and a pitta bread which DM ate as she clearly hadn't finished eating ( she had only wanted a small amount on her plate originally). I was also still hungry.
I had made most of the food and I'm pissed off that my effort was wasted on him stuffing himself with it all.
I was utterly embarrassed.
I made a joke about him eating all the crisps and DH went extremely red in the face. He will no doubt call me out on it later on for embarrassing HIM!
He is very over-weight and embarrassed about it, but nobody is allowed to mention it or his eating habits. And yet he stuffed himself with all the food for the guests.

How do I broach this? I love entertaining, I have really missed it, but he spoilt it for me today.

He doesn't do this when he visits other peoples houses,just at ours.

If there is ever shared food on the table at regular meal times,he always seems to wait until we all have a bit on our plates and then eats everything that's left. Sometimes I find myself filling my own plate with too much before he dives in and eats it all. I rarely serve food this way in th3 evenings because of his greediness. But it can't be helped when entertaining.

What do I say to him?
It's ridiculous.

@ZombieFan @TheNestedIf I think I love you both!

Let's all have a good laugh at the expense of a poster who came onto the relationship board to ask our advice.

Honestly, there is a real woman behind the screen and some of the more peurile posters on this thread should take a good hard look at themselves and wonder why they get so much glee out of being so unneccesarily unpleasant.

@TheNavigator

Let's all have a good laugh at the expense of a poster who came onto the relationship board to ask our advice.

Honestly, there is a real woman behind the screen and some of the more peurile posters on this thread should take a good hard look at themselves and wonder why they get so much glee out of being so unneccesarily unpleasant.

With you there.

Oh, a 'greedy husband' thread... what an absolute surprise that it has so many posts.

OP, you don't like your husband, that's clear. Free both of you from the 'relationship' and divorce. I don't see any saving grace; he's inconsiderate and you're disloyal. Game over.

@TheNavigator

Not sure if that was aimed at me but earlier in the thread, if you look back, I made much the same points you made in support of the OP. I'm more animated by the fact we've had pages of arguing whether the OP should have provided 1.5 or 2.5 chicken breasts rather than whether the husband, the co-host, could have provisioned more food himself if he was hungry.

I can't believe all the quibbling over amounts of food on this thread. Who gives an actual shit if op under or over catered ?

If you can't see the importance or relevance of the amount of food provided, then you're missing much of the issue at hand.

The amount of food is absolutely relevant to this issue, as the OP is claiming her H ate so much with an overflowing plate and that some of the guests didn't get enough.

A failure to establish the amount of food provided and the food he ate is not something that can be ignored here, if objective responses are to be given.

The amount of food is an issue as OP doesnt come across as caring about her dh very much, more that she is embarrassed by him.
She seems to worry more that other people are "noticing" what he eats. She herself is making comments about what he eats in front of other people so bringing attention to how much he eats. Its a vicious circle and could be that OPs attitude towards her DH is probably making him worse.
Its not like he went to the table first, filled up his plate to overflowing and then left nothing for the guests. He waited until other people had been served then didnt even take all that was left as op herself said there was plenty of salad , half a pitta bread and slices of chicken left, plus plenty of desserts, so nobody was going hungry

Quite a few greedy guts on the thread - not just the OP.
The poster who mentioned cooking a whole chicken for the DH wasn't far off the mark.
I wouldn't eat a whole chicken breast myself - well I'd struggle to, with side salads and pitta bread. You're talking about 800 kcals in 1.5 chicken breasts, salads with rice etc., and the 1.5 pitta breads. That's greedy bastard territory enough, but to have 2.5 breasts, 3 breads and THREE bags of crisps - what the fuck? For lunch?

If I was catering, you've essentially got 3 women, 1 child and 2 men, so I'd have catered maybe 2 breasts for the men, so 4, and 1 each for the women and child. I'd have cooked 8, not 9. I'd have had no issue cooking 20 pitta breads, and the salads would have added more carbs. No bloody wonder we're all so massively obese over here.

Seriously - portion control and a bit of food education might not go astray with some of you.

I suspect the DH is probably just a mean bugger and since he paid for the food, he was going to get his money's worth.

I saw it at work with this massively obese man - he must have been 20 stone. He ate for a lunch, what I'd eat in a week of lunches. Hardly rocket science to figure out why he was overweight!

Op - in future, tell your DH what amount you've factored for everyone and tell him not to be a glutton and that you want to have enough for everyone. If he wants to be a greedy glutton, then he can add extra for himself before the guests arrive.

I would sooner starve to death than treat my guests like OP's husband did.

I don't think coming on to argue with "I'd struggle to eat a whole chicken breast myself" is particularly persuasive
Most normal people find one chicken breast to be a perfectly average portion, kids included. Eating two at a special lunch really isn't disordered eating territory

Also all this "loyalty" crap, she hasn't posted any pics of him or their address and there are much MUCH worse threads on here about husbands than this one.

Similar (if not less) than what the DH ate would be a man eating 3 burgers in buns with all the side salads at a barby. I've never seen a man eat 3 burgers for lunch and then wash it down with 3 bags of crisps. Christ.

People often eat more than one item at a bbq. It isn't unusual at all.

I could EASILY eat two chicken breasts and I'm not overweight. Why are people on here so keen to talk about how little they eat?

Well if people eat for the sake of free food, God help them.

If you're getting a lunch - and paying for it - do you go into McDonalds (or does your DH?) and order 2 large quarter pounder meals and then pop into the shop on the way back to buy 3 bags of crisps?

I could EASILY eat two chicken breasts and I'm not overweight. Why are people on here so keen to talk about how little they eat?
I wouldn't be able to move after 2 chicken breasts and 3 pitta breads and salads. I'd need to lie down!

It's not so much free food as - it's a party, you know?

Well, you're clearly the exception, GimmeAy, not the rule.

I know how much I can eat as I cook for myself - I've frequently had a turkey breast fillet and side salad, or a whole chicken breast and side salad for lunch and not been able to finish it. That's without the pitta bread, carby salads (my salad would be lettuce only) and 3 bags of crisps lol.

Well, you're clearly the exception, GimmeAy, not the rule.

Which is probably why slim people are the exception, not the rule.

It was a hardly a party - the OP had her Mum and brother over with his wife.

You know people can eat more than you do and not be gigantic great heifers, Gimme? There's no particular virtue in having a dolly sized appetite.

Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins and not an attractive trait. I'd be a. mortified and b. seriously turned off. If I was 'in love', I might add mildly concerned to that, but I'd find it hard to be in love with a greedy bastard.

Op - in future, tell your DH what amount you've factored for everyone and tell him not to be a glutton and that you want to have enough for everyone.

If my DH announced that he'd invited guests for food and and was going to allow everyone a portion that was smaller than what I usually ate, and told me 'not to be a glutton' by wanting my normal portion, I'd be really pissed off with him. It's controlling behaviour, and my DH is not entitled to control what I eat.

The OP knows this man and she knows what he normally eats. Why did she only allow for portions that were smaller than what he normally eats, if he was one of the people being fed at this meal?

Was she setting him up to look greedy? Is she trying to force him on a diet? Was she embarrassed to allow for larger portions in case her relatives were judgy about it (this fits with the performative undereating that they seem to go in for, publicly taking tiny portions when they know they want more)?

I live with a man who eats a LOT, and if we are catering we factor that in. I don't expect him to starve himself to meet my or others' expectations of what a portion should look like.

But by your definition anyone with a normal appetite is a greedy bastard so good luck with that.
My teenagers can eat that no problem and they're greyhound thin.