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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Embarrassingly greedy DH

886 replies

Ludicruss · 20/06/2020 19:25

Today, we had a socially distanced gathering for a handful of people in our garden. It was great, but I'd forgotten about the way DH behaves around food when we're entertaining in our own home.
I was serving the food myself to prevent the risk of any covid contamination, wearing gloves. DH goes to find something to do inside whilst I serve the food for everyone and myself. He reappears when everyone starts eating and serves his own plate. What he then does is finish EVERYTHING off, leaving no possibility for me to return to serve up seconds for anyone. I was mortified. His plate was over flowing and more than doubled everyone elses plate.
I could see him standing at the side of the garden eating away his mountain of food out of the corner of my eye, DM got up to see what was left when she had finished, clearly intending to have some more. But all of it had gone.
I had tipped 3 packets of crisps into one bowl and nobody had asked for any during the first time I was serving, when I looked into the bowl after DHs visit, there were around 8 crisps left in the bottom of it. He had demolished almost all of them.
There was a tiny piece of chicken left and a pitta bread which DM ate as she clearly hadn't finished eating ( she had only wanted a small amount on her plate originally). I was also still hungry.
I had made most of the food and I'm pissed off that my effort was wasted on him stuffing himself with it all.
I was utterly embarrassed.
I made a joke about him eating all the crisps and DH went extremely red in the face. He will no doubt call me out on it later on for embarrassing HIM!
He is very over-weight and embarrassed about it, but nobody is allowed to mention it or his eating habits. And yet he stuffed himself with all the food for the guests.

How do I broach this? I love entertaining, I have really missed it, but he spoilt it for me today.

He doesn't do this when he visits other peoples houses,just at ours.

If there is ever shared food on the table at regular meal times,he always seems to wait until we all have a bit on our plates and then eats everything that's left. Sometimes I find myself filling my own plate with too much before he dives in and eats it all. I rarely serve food this way in th3 evenings because of his greediness. But it can't be helped when entertaining.

What do I say to him?
It's ridiculous.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
BluebellForest836 · 21/06/2020 20:18

So for all 6 people their was 9 chicken breasts, 9 pitta bread, different types of salad, a bowl of crisps & desert

How is this hardly any food? It’s only lunch! I don’t even serve a pudding at lunch time Confused

SerendipityIfOnly · 21/06/2020 20:22

The OP undercatered, when was the last time you went to a BBQ and got 1.5 chicken breast, 1.5 pitta breads and salads and desserts. The SIL with the gastric band was underfed! There wasn't even any variety or choice (other than salads) . She catered for herself because that's all she thinks about.

But worse than that she's a bully who looks to ridicule her partner in life , her husband. Not someone I would waste any more time on.

Lockheart · 21/06/2020 20:24

@SerendipityIfOnly your entire post is irrelevant because it wasn't a fucking barbecue.

Like I say, I can't believe the amount of bollocks some posters have managed to extrapolate from a few posts.

Railingsohno · 21/06/2020 20:26

Just 🙈 here.

SerendipityIfOnly · 21/06/2020 20:27

Yeah , I checked that afterwards and your right , it was a lunch . Apologies

livefornaps · 21/06/2020 20:27

A paltry platter of poultry

Oblomov20 · 21/06/2020 20:29

You need to get yourself to Costco and order some decent sized portions!

Embarrassingly greedy DH
SerendipityIfOnly · 21/06/2020 20:29

You are supposed to have your husband's back in life and he is supposed to have yours. Who on here would create a thread about there other half eating 2 5 chicken breast and 3 small pitta breads? Honestly? It's pathetic.

Railingsohno · 21/06/2020 20:29

There’s a few bullies on this thread and the OP isn’t one of them.

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 21/06/2020 20:33

It was clear though that DM and SIL were being polite by choosing not to have much on their plates initially.

So who ate all the food? By the time DH came there were max 3 chicken breasts left, 3.5 pittas, and the crisps.

The mother and SIL didn't have much, and they barely eat anyways according to OP, the child couldn't have had that much, the brother apparently doesn't really eat either. So who ate the rest?!? There were 6 chicken breasts eaten and 5.5 pittas.

derxa · 21/06/2020 20:35

It's a mathematical mystery

ZombieFan · 21/06/2020 20:37

Would 1.5 bits of chicken and bread not fit on a plate? If op plated everyone's up, then they all got what was available. Apparently plenty of salad left. Should have bought more crisps.

LightDrizzle · 21/06/2020 20:39

Irrespective of whether there was enough food enough, as a host, you put your guests first.

I once made a beef Wellington on Boxing Day and once it was at the table it was apparent there wasn’t really enough for decent slices for everyone, DH and I didn’t need to kick each other under the table or anything, we kept the conversation flowing and sliced the Wellington up serving others first as is usual and both had an end that had no meat in it, nobody noticed.

My ex was greedy. He always took the best bits of anything for himself and more than his fair share, in his case it wasn’t an eating disorder, it was just one facet of his selfishness.

Horehound · 21/06/2020 20:39

You didn't cook enough food!

ZombieFan · 21/06/2020 20:39

So who ate the rest?!? There were 6 chicken breasts eaten and 5.5 pittas.
Maybe some of the guests stuffed a few breasts in their handbags for later?

SerendipityIfOnly · 21/06/2020 20:40

I'm not a bully , I just reread the OP with the new information and I thought about writing that about my husband , in that circumstance and honestly , I couldn't imagine it. Sorry if it was harsh.

Railingsohno · 21/06/2020 20:42

Pathetic, bully, emotionally abusive are some of the terms being used to describe the OP.

Railingsohno · 21/06/2020 20:45

In fact @SerendipityIfOnly you called the OP a bully and pathetic. Maybe you should read the OP more carefully before chucking around such emotive language.

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 21/06/2020 20:49

@LightDrizzle was there enough for seconds?

Because that's what OP is upset about. And apparently it's all OH's fault.

I'm starting to get a feeling she didn't have half a breast and whiff of pitta either to make sure the guests had enough.

SerendipityIfOnly · 21/06/2020 20:53

I'm sorry I think the thing that got to me was that the OP came back to defend herself , the fact the undercatered . But she never considered defending her husband from the awful comments . It hit a nerve.

Railingsohno · 21/06/2020 20:56

@SerendipityIfOnly

I'm sorry I think the thing that got to me was that the OP came back to defend herself , the fact the undercatered . But she never considered defending her husband from the awful comments . It hit a nerve.
Fair enough but there is a real person on the other side and we’re in Relationships not AIBU
Dougalthesyrianhamster · 21/06/2020 20:57

My god @livefornaps "Stuffing" "Munching" "Gobbled"

There's some really condescending language being used on this thread.
The guy clearly has an eating disorder and you're all using language that??? 

Should be ashamed of yourselves. You included OP @Ludicruss

livefornaps · 21/06/2020 21:00

Ah come on @Dougalthesyrianhamster I did make the joke about the platter of paltry poultry also Grin

Dougalthesyrianhamster · 21/06/2020 21:00

@DisobedientHamster Snaffling everything in sight

Hmm Vile language to be using about somebody who clearly has an eating disorder

SerendipityIfOnly · 21/06/2020 21:05

Yes , we are in relationships. Thanks for the heads up. And the OP was unkind to her husband. And I apologised for being harsh , I'm not going to apologise for thinking that she is unkind.

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