Embarrassingly greedy DH

[Ludicruss]

Today, we had a socially distanced gathering for a handful of people in our garden. It was great, but I'd forgotten about the way DH behaves around food when we're entertaining in our own home.
I was serving the food myself to prevent the risk of any covid contamination, wearing gloves. DH goes to find something to do inside whilst I serve the food for everyone and myself. He reappears when everyone starts eating and serves his own plate. What he then does is finish EVERYTHING off, leaving no possibility for me to return to serve up seconds for anyone. I was mortified. His plate was over flowing and more than doubled everyone elses plate.
I could see him standing at the side of the garden eating away his mountain of food out of the corner of my eye, DM got up to see what was left when she had finished, clearly intending to have some more. But all of it had gone.
I had tipped 3 packets of crisps into one bowl and nobody had asked for any during the first time I was serving, when I looked into the bowl after DHs visit, there were around 8 crisps left in the bottom of it. He had demolished almost all of them.
There was a tiny piece of chicken left and a pitta bread which DM ate as she clearly hadn't finished eating ( she had only wanted a small amount on her plate originally). I was also still hungry.
I had made most of the food and I'm pissed off that my effort was wasted on him stuffing himself with it all.
I was utterly embarrassed.
I made a joke about him eating all the crisps and DH went extremely red in the face. He will no doubt call me out on it later on for embarrassing HIM!
He is very over-weight and embarrassed about it, but nobody is allowed to mention it or his eating habits. And yet he stuffed himself with all the food for the guests.

How do I broach this? I love entertaining, I have really missed it, but he spoilt it for me today.

He doesn't do this when he visits other peoples houses,just at ours.

If there is ever shared food on the table at regular meal times,he always seems to wait until we all have a bit on our plates and then eats everything that's left. Sometimes I find myself filling my own plate with too much before he dives in and eats it all. I rarely serve food this way in th3 evenings because of his greediness. But it can't be helped when entertaining.

What do I say to him?
It's ridiculous.

@BluebellForest836 come on, how often would the mum have come over? Shes her mum, she must have eaten with the OP and her DH loads. You dont just have your mum over once every couple of years

There clearly was not enough food

Perhaps the I’m thought he was not going to be so disconsiderate to eat all the remaining food when there were so many people there?

There wasn't enough food. No matter how overflowing his plate was it wouldn't have been enough for everyone to have seconds. He is greedy though, and selfish not to check his guests had enough before finishing the food off.

But thats what i mean, she probably did

But this obviously doesnt happen regularly otherwise she would know hes not going to be considerate, and she was going to be left hungry. Which suggests there wasnt enough food, not that the DH ate obsene quantities

@ChubbyPigeon I had a bbq every day last week .
But yes maybe that’s it - it’s a “treat”. No judgement from me on the eating - but I am judging op’s husband for being bloody rude.

it's completely irrelevant if there was not enough food - he is part of the hosting couple, if there wasn't enough food as host you'd take less to make sure there is enough for the guests.

he didn't behave like a host.

everyone suggesting it's the OPs fault for not cooking enough is simply reinforcing the idea that women are responsible for men's behaviour.

we. are. not.

Maybe he had Alans 'big plate'.

He does sound greedy and it does sound as though OP underestimated the amount that would be needed but I honestly think if this had been a bloke complaining about his greedy, fat wife, everyone would be defending her.

This clearly cant be a regular occurance as otherwise OPs mother would have taken more food. The fact she took a small portion suggests she knew there wasnt enough

Exactly. Women are very good at this because they often do the catering, they can easily look at a spread and judge immediately if there is enough food and tailor their portion accordingly.

Suspect the op is embarrassed because she knows she didn’t provide enough food and is pissed at the husband for compounding the issue . She says she put out three bags of crisps, clearly they were the small bags as no one puts out three sharing bags, so assuming six people, it’s Allowing them half a small bag each,

As said, for seven of us at the weekend I went through three or four sharing bags, there is five bags of crisps in each one. So so three bags of crisps is a tiny amount to share out amongst six or so people.

I honestly think if this had been a bloke complaining about his greedy, fat wife, everyone would be defending her

Agree the outrage would have been huge and the term fat shaming thrown about with abandon.

Iv never had my mum over for food and I see her every week
And when I have food with them we go out to eat. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Maybe the OP cooked food for people that are not greedy.

But she must know what her DH is like and how much he pigs out so she should of catered for that.

Maybe the OP cooked food for people that are not greedy.
Clearly not, as she knows full well her husband is.

This clearly cant be a regular occurance as otherwise OPs mother would have taken more food. The fact she took a small portion suggests she knew there wasnt enough

I disagree in this instance. Bbq food is a bit different to a usual meal. Many people like to have a bit of one thing at a time - rather than a plate loaded with different meat. In fact, due to the nature of bbqs quite often different food is ready at different times, so it does tend to be a multiple serving affair.

@Tigersneeze

it's completely irrelevant if there was not enough food - he is part of the hosting couple, if there wasn't enough food as host you'd take less to make sure there is enough for the guests.

he didn't behave like a host.

everyone suggesting it's the OPs fault for not cooking enough is simply reinforcing the idea that women are responsible for men's behaviour.

we. are. not.

This Exactly the. He was hosting and should make sure there was enough food left for guests to have a bit more if wanted, nit pile his plate as high as he possibly could and go off and shovel it down.

If he was really hungry he could have made himself a snack after everyone had gone.

I can't really comment unless OP comes back and clarifies the amounts of food.

It could be that she misjudged this once and didn't make enough food.

It could be that he's a really greedy bastard and he'd polish everything off regardless.

It could be she consistently doesn't cook enough food(a lot of people are at the other extreme of under-eating and deciding everyone else should too) and that's why he only does it home. When at other's people's houses there is a reasonable amount of food provided.

I can’t believe that people can’t see that it’s not about the amount of food, it’s about the fucking selfishness of eating all of it without a thoughT for anyone else.

If it were say, a few bottles of wine and everyone had a glass, then dh guzzled the rest without asking anyone if they’d like a top up - maybe the response would be different.

Get him to do the catering?

The thing is, what outcome do you want here?

There's more food: DH is still greedy but everyone gets enough to eat

There's the same amount of food: DH skimps on food, loses weight, but probably everyone is still peckish anyway cuz the amount was.stingy to begin with

He had one plate of food! You obviously didn't cook enough. Didn't you have anything else on 'stand by' in case it was all eaten?

If it were say, a few bottles of wine and everyone had a glass, then dh guzzled the rest without asking anyone if they’d like a top up - maybe the response would be different.

Again it depends on amounts.

4 bottles and he had two by himself yes it's a big problem.

2 bottles and there was only half a bottle left by the time it was his turn, slightly selfish,but there wouldn't have been enough for everyone to refill anyways.

@PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock I get a feeling that in this situation it was the food equivalent of a three quarter full bottle of wine. Dm May have liked another small glass which could have easily been accommodated, and of course while I’d gladly polish it off - I’d check my guests were ok first.

I’m a massive over-caterer - always end up giving people food to take home, and with leftovers. But am sure I’ve been caught out before by say, a desert that wasn’t as big as I’d hoped, or something going wrong with a dish. I wouldn’t then blithely eat the lot and let my guests go without. That’s the issue here - he came and ate the lot without a care for anyone else.

I can’t believe that people can’t see that it’s not about the amount of food, it’s about the fucking selfishness of eating all of it without a thoughT for anyone else

Exactly. If I was hosting and realised I didn’t make quite enough what would I do? Well I certainly wouldn’t quickly grab everything I could get my hands on and scoff if quickly like some deranged hamster. I’d limit what I ate, made sure my guests had enough to eat knowing that I could have a snack later and that food isn’t disappearing off the face of the earth ffs. This isn’t my last ever meal, it’s a meal and if you’re hosting this is just basic manners. Clearly the OPs husband doesn’t have manners if he does this.

I imagine the OP this morning cooking mounds of bacon and eggs whilst hubby is salivating in the corner with a bib on. Nonetheless, she will leave him starving because she didn't Provide Enough Food. Meanwhile OP and the mum wonder if they can eat a whole slice of toast between them. All her lady friends from BBQ will still be discussing OP's constant and woeful "under-catering" and her poor hubby, safe in the knowledge that they at least can fulfil their own womanly duty to Provide Enough Food for Men. And the hard done by hubster will be wailing with a hungry tummy by lunch, after all, he's only had one plate of food FFS!!

@dishingoutdone @Russellbrandshair I think where the op went wrong was only using one Bbq. I mean, if we are to keep everyone happy there should obviously be one for all the guests and then a separate full one for the man of the house - preferably full to brimming with red meat

God the words people use, greedy, scoffing, stuffing, grabbing, pigging, Fucker, bastard, and as yet as a pp said, if this was an over weight woman who had had a large portion the responses would be very different indeed. It would be cater properly and stop publicly fat shaming your wife.

Honestly it’s just horrible it really is. It’s like people search to find the most disdainful words they can and hurl it at this man.