@Dappledsunlight- We don't know how much of it is nature and how much nurture. A lot of it is nurture/culture.
@JudyGemstone I'm glad you're not someone who excuses men. That would be worse.
I can talk sex with my female friends all day, but the second a man mentions sex I just find myself muttering 'is that all you can think about?' (It usually is).
Usually how they mention it is in a way that is creepy. And with the biological reality that most men can overpower women, and/or the reality of a lifetime of hassle at the hands of men, when they say something to a woman about sex it has a different connotation to when two women are talking about it.
I had an emergency plumber let themselves in my (admittedly unlocked) flat door and into my bedroom and he found it funny when I flipped out)
Grr! Even if the door was unlocked, why the fuck would he do that? I would assume he got off on it.
@3LittleMonkeyz Yes, I have had similar experiences, and having a DBS check means very little. I know men who have one who are quite creepy.
Few years later I found out he was mates with a guy I was newish friends with. I told him what A was like/had done to me and other women. His first reaction was 'What? He's a good guy - he's never done anything like that to me...'
@NervousInYorkshire D'oh! I had a bloke who was effectively a Male Rights Activist, he would take the man's/male side in virtually everything. Turns out he was sexually coercive.
If you might have a male partner or son in the future it might be a good idea to work through your feelings
@Etinox I don't think I can have children, and I'm 43 now anyway. I don't think it's to the point where I wouldn't be reasonable to a decent man if one happened to come along (though I'm not looking.) Just I like to think I would ditch one at the first sign of bollox. There are billions of men, so no need to put up with it.
come across plenty of shitty men who have distorted my view of the male gender. I will feel this way until true equality is achieved...(which will never be in my lifetime)
@ukgift2016 It mightn't even be entirely a distortion- how men have acted has formed your opinion of them.
@Inappropriatefemale Yep 'boys will be boys' is bollocks, plus it can be use to excuse/ mean we don't recognize when one is worse than average.
I think lots of us haven’t had relationships with decent men because we don’t feel ‘decent’ enough for decent men, it’s all to do with our self worth and who we choose reflects how we feel about ourselves.
It's not 100% like that of course, some men are wankers and women with any level of self worth can run into one. But self worth can effect how soon we get rid of them. Unfortunately, sometimes the first time we find out one of them is a wrong'un to have any chance of acting on it, is when they rape us or something.
Few years later I found out he was mates with a guy I was newish friends with. I told him what A was like/had done to me and other women. His first reaction was 'What? He's a good guy - he's never done anything like that to me...'
@NervousInYorkshire D'oh! I had a bloke who was effectively a Male Rights Activist, he would take the man's/male side in virtually everything. Turns out he was sexually coercive.
If you might have a male partner or son in the future it might be a good idea to work through your feelings
@Etinox I don't think I can have children, and I'm 43 now anyway. I don't think it's to the point where I wouldn't be reasonable to a decent man if one happened to come along (though I'm not looking.) Just I like to think I would ditch one at the first sign of bollox. There are billions of men, so no need to put up with it.
come across plenty of shitty men who have distorted my view of the male gender. I will feel this way until true equality is achieved...(which will never be in my lifetime)
@ukgift2016 It mightn't even be entirely a distortion- how men have acted has formed your opinion of them.
@Inappropriatefemale Yep 'boys will be boys' is bollocks, plus it can be use to excuse/ mean we don't recognize when one is worse than average.
I think lots of us haven’t had relationships with decent men because we don’t feel ‘decent’ enough for decent men, it’s all to do with our self worth and who we choose reflects how we feel about ourselves.
It's not 100% like that of course, some men are wankers and women with any level of self worth can run into one. But self worth can effect how soon we get rid of them. Unfortunately, sometimes the first time we find out one of them is a wrong'un to have any chance of acting on it, is when they rape us or something.