When I was growing up, my family had a swimming pool. Outdoors. Not heated. Very big and at the deepest point, around 4.5ft. It was installed when I was about 2. Over the years I fell in that pool no end of times!
@DBML He didn't fall, he was thrown, and the OP's partner knows the boy has mental and physical health problems, so it's not like the average child being thrown in.
I guess what I’m saying is, that this could easily have ended up something to laugh and joke about,
No, not with the boy's immediate response (which all involved could have predicted. Laughing then would've been nasty IMHO. I get what you mean but it's also the double standards, and how the OP's partner was later dissing them all to his sister. And if the average mum saw their child having a panic attack, I think most would comfort them, they wouldn't laugh.
You can have your words with your partner on the side and let him know how you really feel.
I think if most people have dads/step dads who were nasty to us or frightened us, if our mums had ever stood up for us when it happened that would've been nice. People resent their mums, especially as adults, if they just laughed along or didn't do anything when stuff like this happens.
As it's a 'step parent' it's even worse and can't happen.
Lets face it this is no longer about your son is it? You need to discuss this, see if you can move on or end it. So he is gossiping to people in the garden probably better then gossiping to strangers on the internet.
@june2007 I think OP asking anonymously about this stuff for support and advice isn't the same as her OH mocking a child and her to a family member in OP's own home. Seeking support and advice is ok. Being a disrespectful shit stirring wanker is not ok. And of course it's about her son.