Feel utterly sad and need to tell someone

[winsterwoes]

I guess I just need to write it out somewhere. Not sure if this is the beginning of the end.

Been married for 2 years (together for 3.5), have a 6 month old baby together. Day to day life on the surface is pretty good - we get on really well (I would consider him my best friend), loads to chat and laugh about, built a lovely home together, have a good balance of spending time together and having time to do our own thing, have our own friends and hobbies, rarely argue......

The problem is that when we DO argue (and it’s only ever about one thing : housework) - he turns into the most unreasonable person ever. He has this god-like complex that he can never be wrong, he refuses to listen to my reasoning or explanations, paints me as the one that caused it and the one that should back down. Sometimes I do back down just to move on with life, sometimes I refuse to back down and then we just sweep it under the rug and it stays there until next time.

Today I got so angry while preparing dinner that I literally threw the boiled egg I’d just peeled across the kitchen and stormed out. In my 36 years of life I have never thrown anything in a rage or stormed out of anywhere. I feel like the arguments get me more worked up every time, just because I know what’s coming and I’m beginning to despair.

So, having an unexpected evening alone left to my own thoughts, I’m wondering things like....
Can I be with someone who will not partake in a constructive argument? They are going to happen, so one needs those skills. If I’m getting more frustrated each time it happens, it’s only going to get worse surely. Should I put up with these (fairly infrequent) arguments for an otherwise great life together? I want to maybe voice it to him that I’m contemplating being without him but if I voice it out loud, I can never take it back, it’ll always be there. I want another baby, what if I don’t get another chance? If I leave him, will I ever find anyone else who I get along with so well? If we got a divorce, it would be really quite embarrassing at work and amongst extended family and things. I know some of those are silly things to be thinking.

I feel quite calm but very sad, I just don’t know what to do or say when I see him in the morning. I suppose any and all thoughts are welcome. Thankyou for reading. X

I am glad you talked op. In your first post you said you were worried about telling him this upsets you so much you have had thoughts of leaving - you should not be afraid to tell him that. It doesn’t put it ‘out there’ it demonstrates how much something is upsetting you. He would prefer to know I think and have a chance to fix things than you just decide to leave him without raising it.

Wow, some amazingly insightful posts on here. I realised at the weekend I'm fully trained up.

And the inconveniencing them thing - spot on. Xh used to maintain that babies should not impact our lives in any way. Imagine even trying to accommodate that. In the end he worked away and had an affair and then left so they didn't really.

Antibles

I think you know my ex! :o

@Antibles
@sawollya

Great posts ladies.

I hope they help the OP to understand her situation.

If you don't know your enemy, it's hard to protect yourself.

I think this thread will give her greater insight into her frustration and why she was so stressed.

Knowledge is power.
Particularly in relationships where something is off that you can't quite put your finger on.