Realising I prefer life in lockdown

[whatisheupto]

I'm wondering if I have some sort of problem. I have felt a huge sense of relief during lockdown... no pressure, no visitors, ability to just please myself (and DH and DC). I mean no disrespect to those who have found the last 10 weeks incredibly hard and stressful for all sorts of reasons.
Since Boris's announcement today, family are immediately messaging with plans to meet up. I suddenly realised I feel a sense of dread, which I feel awful about. They can be pretty annoying and I suppose the past couple of years they have been extra annoying, but they're not awful, compared to the stuff I read on here! I just can't really be bothered with seeing them, but I can't really believe I am saying that out loud. Why aren't I excited, like them and the rest of the country?!

We might as well enjoy some aspects of this because it's not like any of us had a choice. Our mental health will be better if we can find things to be happy about. We are all worried about Covid, the economic impact, children's education etc but it's not as if introverts have deliberately chosen this way of life and imposed it on everybody else - it's not like introverts could change things for the people who are currently really suffering by being miserable themselves!

I feel like I'm living in limbo. There are tons of things I need to do to my house but can't because they require money and tradespeople to be working in my home and the tip to be open (in Wales mine is only open for 'emergencies' whatever that means). DH is working from home so not available to help much.
I love that he isn't driving so much but none of us are really resting. I've got 4 kids at home (teens who are eating everything in sight). The house isn't big, I'm starting to get antsy about not being able to leave my small town except for the supermarket, which is also stressful.
But, I love DD being home from school. She was having issues with her friendship group and the break has been good for her. I love not having people pop round uninvited. I love wearing comfy clothes all day. I've learned that I don't need to be constantly in the shops (although I am longing for a mooch). I am enjoying the peace outside.

"Theres been an equalisation of society for one thing and the usual pressure and hassle has been removed."

Hahahahahaha not if you have toddler twins.

Gosh some people don’t like anyone being happy or positive for once.

Perhaps it’s that I have actually lost a property before and had to survive on benefits for a while that allows me to meaningfully say what’s the worst that could happen? People are so desperate to be offended on behalf of the disadvantaged that it doesn’t occur to them they’re actually berating those very people.

I’ve enjoyed a lot about this period. I make a point of trying to find things to be grateful for and enjoy. No big garden or house (bit sad that people think you must have that to be happy). But I like my little rented 2 bed and to be honest could be, and have been, happy living in a little camp room if my head was in the right place.

I’m a lone parent of one teen so very peaceful except when trying to make him do schoolwork. Ds has loved it (again lots of kids have but we must focus on those who haven’t). Just being able to ‘be’ is a luxury in a performance world.

We’re both quite self sufficient and able to happily pass time doing our own thing.

When traveling and living overseas I’ve witnessed real poverty and witnessed that it doesn’t have to equal misery.

One of the real benefits of having lost a house and status etc before is having less fear. Genuinely being able to say it’s just a house/job/lifestyle and knowing you can survive and rebuild and get back on your own two feet no matter what. You can own that kind of security in a way you can never really own ‘stuff’.

@Sunflowersok Yes, this is me completely!

I am very intuitive and often 'see' what is going on behind the scenes/people's intentions. It can sometimes take a while for the facts to emerge but I am rarely wrong!

I have trouble fitting in too. It's almost like people are wary of me. I try to engage with as few people as possible now as it can just be too much. Currently looking at ways I can work more independently where I am less reliant on other people/working in a team (ugh!).

Oh god @walkywonker and @sunflowersok I could have written your posts, that is exactly how I feel! I always try to tell myself not to take things so seriously/ be so sensitive to things. But I can't help it. Have been like this since a child. So this is why we find social interaction so draining. Wow, totally makes sense.

@MrsOfBebbanburg

"Is it really not possible for people on here to have one thread where they discuss the aspects of this “new normal” that they’re enjoying without the spiteful bitch plop parade coming along and shitting all over it?

I was going to answer those snidely posts upthread asking about gardens and jobs but fuck that. We don’t have to answer to you just because you don’t like us being happy. There’s something seriously wrong with those of you who’s felt the need to possibly all over a thread like this. I’ve spend the last 10 years in some pretty serious depression and this is the first time I’ve felt properly relaxed and happy in all that time. And I will not apologise for that. Take your spite elsewhere."

Good for you really, I have no problem with you enjoying your new normal and encourage you to try to continue to live this way as much as possible after lockdown, say no to people, find a way to work from home, 'potter' more at the weekends.

The people I resent are the ones saying they've enjoyed how society is being 'equalised' - what a load of privileged bollocks.
The people who suggest lockdown and this was of life is better for everyone.
The people who are only enjoying lockdown at the expense of others and by wanting it to continue they continue to leave others at risk whilst living their privileged lives.
The people who think the quiet life is how human are meant to live.
The people who try and push their ideas and want in life on everyone else.
The people who screech on about wanting bars/pubs/soft play ect to stay closed, with no appreciation for all the people who enjoy and have missed those things.
Those are the people who need to get a grip and realise not everyone's like them.

You have every right to enjoy your life how you want and I have no problem with you having enjoyed your personal situation in lockdown. It's the ignorance of some people about 'equalisation' and failing to realise that not everyone is like them that pisses me and many other people off.

The fact is those of us who dont like it cant choose otherwise- we have to go along with those who love the pointless meetings, awful commutes, endless noise, forced fun and unpaid extra hours. If you want to sleep more, stay at home, stay indoors or just do nothing its seen as a moral failure when really its what the world needs more of. Continual growth isnt going to happen anymore-theres going to be a lot more part time work, 4 day weeks. I hope people will make some changes now for improved mental health.

I live in a shared house in a terrace in Hulll before we attempt to go down that 'middle class elite' bullshit route.

I want to see my parents, they have missed DD dreadfully.
I can't wait to catch up with my friends properly, life without them is a bit less fun.
I'm in no rush to see my DSis, her snide little digs have not been missed.

DH, DD and I are generally very happy in our little bubble.

The people I resent are the ones saying they've enjoyed how society is being 'equalised' - what a load of privileged bollocks ONE person said that. It was one sentence in one post that fell foul of being right on and you've had to pile in and spew negativity all over everyone.

You couldn't just let it go? You couldn't think, hey they might have meant that differently or perhaps just phrased carelessly or maybe they're stuck in at home all the time and meant oh look now it's not just me? FFS - let things go a bit.

If you hated the thread so much why not just avoid it? Honestly people like you offend me far more than privileged people being a bit naive. People who want to make every fucker miserable.

Disabled, single mum who can only work part time and lives in rented accommodation without a garden here btw. Get over yourself.

People intentionally misunderstanding the 'equalisation'- those of us who havnt been able to work for ages, have illnesses and are put under contant suspicion and hassle for it have had some respite, with everybody in the same situation. Just because you cant understand it, doesnt mean it isnt real.

Its as it said in this article, this could the catalyst for a change towards equality, as it was after the plagues in Europe. There is nothing left for the government to cut or take from us. We've found out again whos important out of the advertising executives or the healthcare and public workers

www.theguardian.com/world/commentisfree/2020/apr/30/walter-scheidel-a-shock-to-the-established-order-can-deliver-change

'If the affliction of coronavirus has shamed us into anything, it is a vivid appreciation of just how cruelly topsy-turvy our world is. Low-paid healthcare workers, bin collectors, bus drivers and supermarket shelf stackers, not hedge fund managers or venture capitalists, have kept us from falling apart. It has taken actual disaster to expose the deep-seated social injustices and inequalities that we knew, but seemed to have forgotten, are hardwired into our economy. So could the global convulsion caused by the pandemic put us on the path to greater equality?

The Austrian economic historian Walter Scheidel argues that throughout history, from the stone age onwards, pandemic is one of the only four events capable of bringing about greater equality. War, state collapse and revolution are the other three.'

I can completely relate to this. I’m the least stressed I’ve ever been. My stomach problems have resolved, my acne has cleared up and I haven’t had a single headache.

It makes me envious that other people are so thrilled to be getting back to normality, are thrilled to be seeing family and friends.
I just wish I had people I missed. I’m envious of people who have boyfriends and girlfriends they’re missing...frankly I’m preferring lockdown and having an excuse not to see mine but then that makes me feel so guilty but I can’t help it

What's telling @sonetluniere is you with your ridiculous assumption that OP has no idea how her husband and child feel. The assumption that her house is divided because if she hasn't explicitly mentioned them in her post, then she must stomping all over there needs .

I realise now how little I need to be happy - I don’t need to rush from place to place - I can be happy going for a walk by myself listening to podcasts or watching my children play on the trampoline while I drink coffee.

TheHoneyBadger imagine if we went on every thread on Mumsnet (of which there are hundreds) where people are saying how stressed lockdown has made them and said "Get over yourself there are lots of people whose mental health has improved and who have enjoyed lockdown. We don't need to hear your moaning." I'm sure that would go down very well. We should be allowed to have a thread for those people who enjoy it it and have found a positive experience.

Not every single thread has to be about everybody. If this does not apply to you simply don't comment, go on a different thread.

There is not a single conversation you're allowed to have about literally anything without, 'what-aboutism' crashing in nowadays campervan. I'm sick of it. It silences any reasonable discussion.

I'm on expat pages in a country I used to live in and likely will again someday and even there if someone says they find quality x difficult in that country they're screamed at with, this isn't the only country it happens in, why don't you look at your own country. It's ridiculous - err no doubt but we're actually talking about this country/this persons experience/this 'particular'.

Note that often people come crashing in to tell everyone off for not considering something completely outside of the scope of the conversation they don't tend to say MY experience is x, I feel y. They make massive assumptions about the circumstances of those they're telling off from their high horse and share nothing about their own circumstances. They offer nothing - they don't 'connect' in any way. Best ignored but so irritating.

They'd be great fun at parties

It's very true that it is up to us as individuals to manage our lives.... restrict meetings, say no etc. I agree with that and I do do that already as much as I can. But of course it's not easy and not always possible. The thing about lockdown is that it means that responsibility is completely taken off me. There is no need to manage other peoples' expectations. There is no battle to be fought. (For clarity, in case needed, I am referring only to social situations, in my case particularly family situations.) In normal life if I say no, I am a disappointment or a pain. Right now no one is bugging me (until Monday!). We both have large families so it's not that I don't want to see anyone ever, it's just that there's always someone who wants to "catch up". FWIW we lead a very simple life compared to many... few clubs, not much rushing around.

@OP you don't need to explain yourself. Anyone with common sense can figure out that navigating what one wants in life is not always as simple as just saying NO! . It's hard enough with friends and colleagues, what about the sticky business of family? of course, lockdown takes away the responsibility from you. No one is going to call you 'antisocial', 'hermit' etc because we are in 'lockdown'. No one is eye-rolling. If people can't understand that then it's them that's hard of thinking.