Hello,
Looking for some advice or just generally some opinions as I feel I have nobody to talk to about this.
I met by boyfriend two years ago and we’ve lived together 18 months. I’m 33 and he’s 38 and works in digital marketing as head of / director level. The short story is, he’s about to quit his job whilst covid I happening to move to his 6th job in two years. Details below.
When we met he was working for company number 1 but kept moaning about how shambolic the company was in particular the senior management. Fully supported him and encourage him whilst he applied for job 2. He let the two jobs overlap rather than let his old company know / give notice which I wasn’t happy about.
Job number 2 he worked for a couple of weeks then literally just as I was boarding a plane to Botswana (a holiday I booked before we met) he told me he’d been let go as they no longer needed someone at that level. I again supported him and was empathetic. At this point he moved in with me, partly as we wanted to anyway and has discussed before he lost his job but also so I could financially support him whilst he was out of work.
Then job 3 was a temp job, he ended up leaving as he claimed they blamed him for something to do with a purchase order so I again supported and was sympathetic.
A few weeks later he took job 4 out of desperation. After a few weeks I met the owner of the company and colleagues who were saying such positive things about my boyfriend in how well he was doing and they seemed lovely. Then one of the guys who he didn’t particularly like ended up becoming his boss and he started Moaning similar to job 1 about incompetent management etc.
He then left to go to job 5 without even giving job 4 any notice so left on bad terms. My patience was wearing thin now as he hadn’t even been there 6 months and his cv was so unstable I was worried it will ruin his job prospects. He told me he’d met the person who he’d be taking over from who had warned him about the management not to trust them etc.
Job 5 I thought it was finally resolved though when he spoke the most positively I’d heard him speak eg nice to work with competent people but before long (3/4 months in) the usual grumbles came about incompetent management.
He then started getting heart palpitations to the point where I ended up taking him to A&E. He refused to believe it was stress or anxiety even though the hospital indicated this and blamed it on a fever. Things then seemed to settle down for a while and then covid happened and a lot of his work has been paused so he’s getting full pay and just ticking things over. It’s the least stressed I e ever seen him and then all of a sudden he lands job 6 on me and says he wants to resign as he’s not happy. To make things worse the job is a 1.5/2hr commute away so ok for covid working remotely but not long term. I’ve told him it’s crazy to be leaving in the current climate and he’s lucky to have a job. He’s getting paid 80k and not even doing much whilst in lockdown.
I’m just at my wits end with it all as the common denominator of the 6 jobs is him and I can’t help but wonder if the problem
is him. It’s causing me lots of anxiety as when he’s unhappy all the time with work and constantly moaning it can be very draining. I fear it will be like this forever and I’m now at the point where I can’t cope if it happens a 7th time which is a lot of pressure for me to put on him for this job to be “the one”.
Any advice appreciated, I feel so alone as he doesn’t like me telling my family/friends about his job hopping as he’s embarrassed and he’s not fully honest with his parents about it all. I’ve read similar forums which say try counselling but I think he’d be hard to persuade to try something like that and if he did he I don’t think he’d be honest with them about the last two years