Dating a man with 2 children and I have no children.

[katiie3]

Hi, any advice/experience on dating a man with 2 children. He has shared custody with his ex girlfriend and sees his children every week 2/3 times a week, sometimes more.

I don’t have any children. We are just speaking via phone at the moment.

Anyone have an experience with this?

Ime run...

Hard dating men with DC, especially if it becomes serious and you end up having DC together as well.

So you probably have lots of better dating options!

How old are they

Unless they are older teens don’t date a man with children.

There's a lot to consider. If you get serious/move in, you'll need a house big enough to accommodate the children. He may expect you to do all the work for them. You may get resentful of the time he spends with them (rather than with you). Will he want more children with you or does he feel he's had enough kids? Does he have them every weekend? (no weekends away with you) What is his ex like? Will she accept another woman looking after her kids, or is she difficult?

Personally I wouldn't go there. It could be really lovely, but there's so much that could cause friction in this relationship. Read some of the threads on the SP boards to get a flavour of the problems some women have.

His children are 11 and 12. He has them on 2-4 times a week depending on his work rota.

I think fair play that he shares custody and that he sees them 2 / 3 times a week, i wouldnt expect to meet them for at least a year.

I don’t have any children so I wanted advice or experiences from anyone who has been through something similar or heard of anything...

I wouldn't.

Run like the wind.

How old are you both, and do you want DC yourself?

I haven't had experience with this no but I am a mum that wants to date, I date without the kids being there and not looking for a replacement father for them, if you like him, go on a date doesn't mean you will end up moving in anytime soon. If you did become serious enough to live together, they still have a mum and you shouldn't need to give up your own life. Depends on how you feel really, it if puts you off then choose someone that hasn't got any.

Been there, done that, don't recommend it.

No , I wouldn't, very tricky.

@Dozer I’m in my early 30s and he is early 40s..

I haven’t really wanted children of my own but if I did meet someone that I liked then possibly yes. I haven’t ruled it out but at the same time, I’m okay if it wasn’t to happen too.

All of the sacrifice and drudge with none of the intense love and parental bond that makes it worthwhile. It wouldn't be for me.

Ye, I understand what people are saying. I have an independent life and I have dated men without children so it’s been quite easy to make plans and do things.

I do understand with children, you have to pre plan and even then plans can change last minute. And you have to effectively share your partner with his children and his life he had prior to meeting you ....

I don't have children and am with a man with more than 2! They are aged 9 upwards. We waited over a year before I met them and he now lives with me with his son. His adult daughter also stays sometimes. The younger ones until covid visited every week. I never wanted to be with a man with children but I love him and we are brilliant together. As such the children come as part of that and I've welcomed them into my life. Luckily they love me too which helps. Perhaps I would have thought differently if I'd wanted my own kids but I'm too old for that now. Overall I love this new family that has come into my life.

My advice would be to talk lots, be honest about expectations and take it slowly. If you are young and want your own kids maybe don't get involved unless he's brilliant!

Man with young kids is a whole new dramatic ball game especially if you don't have kids. If he is a good man then you will be bottom of his list of priorities. Rightly so. If you have any issues of jealousy or wanting to be to priority then walk away for all of your sakes

Having done this I would say give it a miss and I say that as someone who got on well with the kids.

Don’t go anywhere near. You will never be a priority to him, he will cancel dates and holidays, miss birthdays/anniversaries/Christmases if his DC ask him to. You will always play second fiddle.

I suppose my relationship with him would have to be pretty solid and special. But I think he would be too busy with his kids and work to pay attention to me. I think I would be at the bottom of the list but only because he has more important priorities

I wouldn't, and I have kids myself.

At this stage of a relationship you can easily avoid this, since few feelings involved and would be better off doing so IMO!

Simpler, good options in your dating pool!