How long did you wait for him to put a ring on it?

[Redpepperdip]

So just curious how long did you wait for OH to put a ring on it?
A lot of family and friends always say to me ‘oh when you are you gonna get married?’
Simple truth is I don’t know.. I’ve been with him 5 years and we have a child together.
Is there a need for me to wonder where the ring is?
i don’t really think about it too much I just feel other people make me think I should be engaged or married by now.

Everyone's situation/ relationship is different. There's no set rules time frames etc. If it's something you both want then maybe start talking about it more.

I’m not really buying the pressure from other people explanation. The only time you ever think about marriage is when people ask?

If marriage is important to you stop discussing, waiting etc and set a date. Or are you saying, beyond making a few noises way back when, your partner hasn’t mentioned it again and appears to be in no rush and for some inexplicable reason you don’t want to push it?

Waiting for a proposal is so passive. If you want to get married, say so and set a date.

I didn’t wait: I did the proposing. We’d been together about a year.

OP, if you were a member of my family I’d ask (just once) because I’d be concerned about your financial security. And if I got the impression your partner didn’t want to get married to the mother of his child I’d think less of him. But I’m old and over the years I’ve seen a lot of unmarried mothers screwed over by feckless men. This has led me to develop opinions.

I think we are saying if you own property, stand to inherit or are the higher earner, you might be better off not getting married anyway OP.

I’m afraid being old fashioned or traditional is about valuing marriage as the important legal contract it is and that people who are either do it before having children.

You’re very defensive OP. You asked a question and got a range of answers. You either want to get married or you don’t. Who cares what anyone else thinks? You’re an adult, a parent, own your wishes and decisions. If you want to get married remember it’s fuck all to do with rings and weddings and everything to do with making a binding commitment to another person.

My husband proposed to me after 4 years, we married few years after. I don't see anything wrong with that...if anything I found it wonderful and very romantic as it was a total surprise and he even went down on one knee... nothing wrong with that in my opinion! Give him a hint maybe

Being raised a strict Catholic there was no “being together” without being married first, so I think mine would be quicker than the usual. Started seeing each other in January, he asked marriage in March, we married in April.