How long did you wait for him to put a ring on it?

[Redpepperdip]

So just curious how long did you wait for OH to put a ring on it?
A lot of family and friends always say to me ‘oh when you are you gonna get married?’
Simple truth is I don’t know.. I’ve been with him 5 years and we have a child together.
Is there a need for me to wonder where the ring is?
i don’t really think about it too much I just feel other people make me think I should be engaged or married by now.

Engaged after 6 months, married after 18 months. Married 16 years now

@LivingThatLockdownLife if you’d read on you’d see we have discussed it, was just asking a question but thanks anyway go be done somewhere else.

I think you're talking about waiting for a proposal. I would never wait for one. I think "the proposal" thing is a really strange concept

We got married quickly, however there is no way I would have been willing to start a family without being married. That ship has already sailed for you. I would definitely talk about it. Wondering where the ring is could go on long enough.

Engaged after 4 months, married 4 months later , 16 years laters still going strong. I do have a friend who’s been engaged for 14 years, don’t think the wedding will ever happen 😥

He told me he was going to marry me with the first 2 weeks. I think we'd been together 10 months when we got married.
Took him another 3 yrs to get round to giving me an engagement ring, though

I didn't wait. It's a decision between two adults so DH and I discussed it together and decided to get married. Life isn't a romantic film.

If you’ve already discussed marriage and agreed you are going to get married then you’re already engaged.

Six weeks with DH. Fifteen years with my ex and then we ended up splitting up within the year anyway!

I’ve been with DP 12 years , 2 children, but we have been together since we were 15. He told me he didn’t really want to get married , but I said it was very important to me. So we got engaged, then we were finally due to get married next month!!! But cancelled due to covid - so we are doing it next year now. But yeah I did cry a lot lol and we had many discussions and he said he would do anything to make me happy so we were booked in!!!

I didn't wait around for anybody to do anything. After 6yrs, we were contemplating children and in agreement that marriage first was financially sensible.

I wasn't passively sitting around waiting for somebody else to kick start the important events in my life. Marriage was a merger, not a takeover. 21yrs later, we are still equal partners.

@HellOfATime919 so sorry to hear that. Hope you manage to set another date :)

3 months!

@Mucklowe I’m well aware life isn’t a romantic film? What the hell?

I don’t really understand your thread op, do you wish to get married or not. Other people’s opinions don’t matter, if they ask then simoly be honest and say you don’t wish to currently.

If that’s what you’re saying? It’s really hard to tell.

It feels like you do wish to but you don’t wish to admit it. Which can’t be right as that would just be odd.

@bluntness 100.
I DO want to get married eventually, we have had the discussion I’m not a child.
I was wondering what peoples views are and how long it took before getting married as in my personal experience I’ve been made to feel I should be engaged/married by now.
I don’t understand why people come on here and attack for that.

7 years.

'Life isn't a romantic film.' Yes because people don't propose in real life do they, only in the movies..
I knew from the title that this would be full of people putting you down for wanting your bf to propose to you, as if that's so strange and rare.

We had DC before marriage because we were a bit older when we got together and felt body clocks ticking. The important thing to bear in mind though is that, in the UK, marriage gives the spouses rights which aren’t available to unmarried people. They’re less important if you’re both working but an unmarried SAHP is very vulnerable financially.

@pisces12 thank you!!! You’re so right.

We got engaged after 2 years. He wanted us to buy a house together and I said I'd like to get married before we move in. We were engaged for a year and a half and married a year last month.

As to time period: I think it depends a lot on your age when you get together but if I think about it, most of my friends were married before they had children and got engaged 2-3 years into their relationships and married a year or so later (mostly late 20s/30s).

without adding useless opinions that I don’t even care about.

You kind of do otherwise you’d just ignore them.

If you want to get married, you’ve been together 5 years and have a dc which means you are all inked for life anyway - you need to decide what you want, absolutely. I wouldn’t wait more than 2-4 years (depending on my age, less time if older) as that’s usually enough time to know.

I’d never cut back on my work if I wasn’t married as both have to make equal work sacrifices unless you have shared assets.

I would never refer to myself as an 'it' so...