How long did you wait for him to put a ring on it?

[Redpepperdip]

So just curious how long did you wait for OH to put a ring on it?
A lot of family and friends always say to me ‘oh when you are you gonna get married?’
Simple truth is I don’t know.. I’ve been with him 5 years and we have a child together.
Is there a need for me to wonder where the ring is?
i don’t really think about it too much I just feel other people make me think I should be engaged or married by now.

1 year, 4 months. I said I wouldn't live with him without being married. This was back in the late 70s and its our 40th anniversary this year. Thanks to lockdown we won't be having the blow-out holiday we planned.

We always said we'd get married, life and kids got in the way!! 20 years later and we still haven't managed it!! I would still like to though - quite like the idea if doing it with our grown up kids 🙂

@PaneerOfEvil boring.

five don't thinks it a problem to refer to your finger as an 'it' though. Which is what the saying refers to.

@Aworldofmyown yeah that sounds lovely

I didn't want to have children until I was married and dh was the same. We kind of knew but it was 18months.
I think you need to talk to you partner and tell him (if that is what you want).

26? Years together and not married. Probably would like to now but hear so many stories of people getting married after all this time and they're divorced within next 3!!!

10 years. Still just engaged 7 years later as we’ve just never got round to it.
We will probably have to get re-engaged lol

I think if you don’t want to get married, that’s fine. But it seems odd to commit to parenting together forever, but to not be able to commit to a relationship, unless there are other financial and legal factors that make it complicated.

We got engaged after 2.5 years and married 6 months later. But it was something we both discussed and planned, so no waiting involved.

no ring after 9 years and a child. We have discussed marriage and will get married at some point, mainly for security for our DS. I have no burning desire to otherwise, our relationship is great. FWIW I am the breadwinner by quite a lot and mortgage currently in my name

If you have more assets than the other person, don't get married.

Sorry to be so ... "pragmatic" but there it is.

(And married or not makes no difference to whether they'll pay their child maintenance of it comes down to it).

We'd been together 3 years and just moved in together. We had talked about marriage in the months before but I hadn't expected it quite so soon. Was happy about it, though!

A lot may depend on age I suppose, and whether you have kids. I was in late 20s, and I suppose I might have go a bit concerned if we hadn't moved to marriage by about 5 years.

I know a few people who met partners in late 30s and moved on to marriage in under two years - I think some people feel they might as well get on with it if they want kids, and it's fair enough. When you're younger you might want to see how you get on with both your careers etc and life changes, but not so much later.

@Redpepperdip Fret not about the rude posters. No one waits around these days. Can't see what's wrong with a man wanting to marry you and proposing, to be honest. I rather like the idea a man was keen enough to do so - security. Most don't. So much the better if proposal a bit romantic.

You could always do the same back.

We were engaged after 5 months. Married 18 months later.

@Supersimkin2 thank you 😊 good advice

I met my OH when I was 20, accidentally fell pregnant at 22, in that time thought the priority was to buy a house, we were both working full time. He did propose whilst I was pregnant but I wanted to focus on the baby and house.
6 years down the line we've moved house again, I'm pregnant again, have changed jobs got qualified in my field of work and just still haven't got around to doing it.

No one I know has really commented.

I don't want to spend a lot on a wedding, dislike most of our family, and don't want to wear a white dress/have big do so one day we will probably do it at the registry office and have a little honeymoon, just so I have the same surname as my children and it makes it safer.

I think the 'norm' is to get married first but I also think people can live together and be perfectly happy unmarried

You can flame me all you want OP, but it is wrong that any woman should feel she has to sit around and wait for a man to "put a ring on it" rather than being able to openly discuss life decisions as two adults.

3 weeks

We got engaged by accident but decided to go with it

Been 13 years

‘Waiting for him to put a ring on it’😬

Get into the 21st century. You can choose too.

@LotusFlowers but you haven’t obviously read the rest of the thread where I’ve explained that I have discussed it with him.
Rather wait around for a proposal than sit online and try and drag other women down. thanks for your input though. Have a nice night.

Why don't you just, hmm, I don't know... Discuss your plans as a couple?

8 years, but we meet while we were young and I was always clear I wanted to be married before having children for the practical and financial security. You don't have to be married to have those but it's more of a faff ensuring you have wills, pensions, power of attorney (health and financial) etc. etc. etc. to achieve the same ends.

If you have children and he is the higher earner, I think you should sort out the financials very quickly if you haven't already. What happens if he leaves/dies etc. But perhaps you already have!

What financial protections have you in place OP? You’re more vulnerable (unless you massively outstrip his earning/assets).

Propose to him?

Six months. We were living together after a month, engaged at 6 and married at around 2 years. It will be 16 years in August. I wasn't waiting for it, didn't have the chance really .

A relative waited for 10 years. I wouldn't have.

It's down to what's right for you, if you want to get married talk about it. Doesn't have to be a massive shindig, probably can't be for the foreseeable but if it's important to you TALK about it.

rainbow and Marie everything is 50/50 we share the house and both pay it etc.
We have wills etc in place so that’s not really a worry per say though he is the higher earner x