Husband has no contact with dd but what to do about her birthday and presents?

[Fightingback16]

I stopped my ex husband having contact with dd in December due to abuse and welfare concerns. He is aware that if he wants contact he needs to apply for an order. He has yet to do this but has asked my solicitor if he can come and spend time with dd on her 4th birthday and drop her presents off etc in a few weeks.

I’m suffering with PTSD at the moment and don’t want him where I’m staying. I also feel
It’s been 5 months since she saw him so it wouldn’t feel good for her emotionally.

When I said no at Christmas he brought the Xmas presents over and tried to break my door in with dd who was home and scared.

What should I get him to do with his presents?

Yes I really have nothing to loose in trying. I think I will apply for the occupation order.

I have applied for financial proceedings because he won’t communicate to me about the house. He simply said I’ll never leave, ill make you suffer and waste all the money and equity getting me out. I’ll quit my job, go to jail...blah blah! I bloody fell for it all but not now.

You say that he has intimidated you out of the house, list DV incidents.

It is only now that you feel strong enough to start fighting

Your daughter is not adequately housed

He has threatened you repeatedly with taking your child, destroying the house, cutting off financial support etc.

Staying with my mum was only temporary. We can move a room around for her bed but she is very attached to me now. My mum has M.S so does struggle a bit with us here. I didn’t expect it to be like this. My PTSD only kicked in about 7 months after I left and it left me unable to cope with anything other than making sure dd was alive every day.

Is it the same form as the non-mol? I just untick the non mol box and tick the occupation order and fill in the other boxes?

If anything happens can I still fill another form for non mol later?

Im fairly sure you can get a non mol following any incident. Can you not tick both?

At no point is his solicitor going to say "Please don't do that I can't win against that" Stop taking their word as gospel

Surely you can tick both. That's the normal situation: he has to stay the fuck away from you while you and the child live in the child's home.

You'd be best off asking on the legal board.

I will ask, but I’ve decided to definitely do the occupation order for sure. Why should he hold all the cards it’s my life.

I know that an ex parte non mol needs to be done within 10 days of the last incident I think but not sure about a regular one. Me applying will most definitely trigger him. The cameras on the house, the alarm and the threats were to keep me away from the house and I know from the past he believes he deserves it. He tried to scare me out of fighting over it. He said if I tried to take “his” house he’d rather go to jail. I have it in text I believe. Maybe just an idle threat but I’ve never tested his threats before. Stopping contact and now this might be a step to far!

Tbh if he tries anything then he will be f***g up his chances of contact and any other proceedings and just give me more evidence.

Stay strong💐

If he goes to jail that's nice for you. Let him get on with it.

Solicitor said no to occupation order as the time gap has been to long. The chances he’d win are too high and then he'd think he won something and gain more power. So i have to wait on the financial proceedings application. Really frustrating!!

How fast can you drive the next stage?

Well the application is in with my MIAM exemption so I guess I have to wait and see. It’s so SO frustrating. I know that because I’ve stopped his contact it will go against me getting a fair feel amicable as he is pissed with me.

*deal not feel

You stopped contact for Buse and welfare concerns which you have documented correct? And reported to professionals? So you have good reason

It’s not up to your ex husband, the law should be on your side. You need to demonstrate that your daughter’s welfare is paramount , which you have done by withdrawing contact due to welfare and abuse concerns. Your ex husband has rights, but he also has responsibilities to safeguard your daughter’s wellbeing, which from what you have stated in your posts he clearly is not. You just need to evidence your concerns and how your ex husband’s behaviour has impacted on your daughter.

I just meant that on the financial side of things and getting the house sorted it’s going to be long and drawn out because he is annoyed with me about stopping contact. He won’t resolve this until the very end. So don’t know how I can drive the financial side of things and the house?