Places that men go- Matthew Hussey dating advice?

[LilMissRe]

Hi everyone

I'm reading through Matthew Hussey's book and I'm struggling with something I've read.

He's advised women to frequent places that men go but only gave a small selection of places as examples: the gym, martial arts and wine/whiskey tasting?

He then said if you don't like any of those, make a ritual of going out with friends once or twice a week to places where men go.

This is all pre- corona

Now, I'm struggling here. At 36, my friends, same age, are no longer interested in going out to places where you need to make an effort and dress up- they've all recently settled down, won't leave their partners for a second, and many have small children. So they either do not see the point as they have hung up the gloves for staying up past 9, are too tired or financially insecure to commit to anything with me, like courses or trying new places to eat that they would rather just invite me to third wheel their family dinners.

Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with their families, but it defeats the object of meeting new people.

The other struggle I have is actually finding places where men go. Not just any man obviously- I'd like to go to places where I don't feel out place and vulnerable and where I think a high value man would frequent.

I again, before corona, would often sit in a coffee shop alone either reading, or working on my laptop. I do go to museums and galleries because I enjoy them and I do go for walks around city parks.Other than that, I love the theatre and cinema. I don't like to go to bars and clubs, as I do not drink nor do I like gyms as my workout is usually pilates, swimming or yoga.

My question is, can anyone suggest other places for me to go to, as he puts it "put myself out there".

Where do high value men go?

I honestly sometimes think that they're probably at home, working on their business or hobby or passion, maybe cooking, maybe tucking into a book, podcast or documentary or spending time with their own close family and friends.

So how do our paths cross then? Must it really only be online dating?

I'd love any suggestions!

@LilMissRe Thank you for replying in a full way. It is a subject that puzzles me, my cousin lives in London, she does activities, yoga a dance class, choir. She always seems popular, plenty of friends some married. She is successful in her job but single.
We cannot work out why she is not 'with someone'.

Good luck especially with the climbing. That will be fun whatever the romantic outcome.

Just do the things you enjoy doing and see what happens.

That advice if you can call it that in the first post is a joke.

High value man 😂

What’s the pasta sauce thing?

Is the problem not just that you’re trying too hard/focussing too much on it all?

@soruff How many men has she asked out in her years of being single?

I think it is ultimately a numbers game and unfortunately there will be some people who never find their SO despite being a good catch.

@LilMissRe You can probably ditch the book entirely. 😁

Your plan sounds great. If nothing else, concentrating on doing things you enjoy will make you happy - and that’s always going to be good (it’s also likely to be very appealing to people you might actually want to date).

Good luck with it.

The only place I go to where lots of men are to be found, are Motor Cycle Clubs, Races,Clasic bike meets etc, All types of fellas can be found at such places, I have been a biker for many years, & have had friends of many professions , from Lawyers , Doctors, Professors, Ladies Hairdressers, Actors, Builders, Nurses, Pilots,Engineers, many of them single honest men. Lots of women are bikers too, so you would not be out of place in jeans & jacket. Talk to them, ask questions about their machines. Most are friendly like the two Hairy Biker Cooks.

Pasta sauce ?