What puts you off an online dating profile

[singlemum81]

Top of the list for me is selfies with tops off or drinking cans of beer

I had a really charming person that sent me a message. I politely turned down his invitation. He then sent a message back saying that he was doing me a favour by messaging me and that I was a stuck up bitch who looked like the Miss Piggy of the dating world. I asked a friend of she ever thought of me as Miss Piggy luckily she said no lol

Do you guys count social media like Instagram as online dating?

Men who don’t smile, I think they’re hiding awful teeth.

Interesting... I've never ever tried online dating never knew men posing with tigers was a thing! I'm going to post same question for men to answer....

@buggedandconfused absolutely correct! Happened to me twice. I went on a date and both had their front teeth missing. Then I realised neither had a smiling profile photo!

I'm on Bumble and dabbled in Facebook dating groups too. The worst was a guy who told me his wife had passed away five years ago from cancer, and he was now ready to date.

But he wasn't: he just wanted somebody to sit with him in his local. Not very exciting for me but pleasant enough until his ex wife popped in and introduced herself. And she mentioned she was wife no 2 of at least 3!!! In his defence, he claimed he had forgotten they were ever married. I pointed out they were still Facebook friends!
I miss that pub....

On Bumble I seem to attract a massive amount of right wing religious men in their fifties who want to have children some day but are looking for a casual relationship.
And men who claim to be non-smokers yet have chosen to post photos where they are smoking!!!

To be fair, I have met some nice interesting and stable men too. But they are rare and seem to live at least two hours away.

My Mr Right probably got lost in the crowd of scowling, dead fish lifting, sweaty gym poseur, photos of car and bike and kids and pets and mothers and exes and minor celebrities and maybe one blurred toilet selfie, "I'll fill this in later" profiles that I scroll through with such hope.

I love this thread. I came on to post a looooong list of gripes but it appears y'all got here first.
I can't think of anything else to add.
It's all been said. It's pretty dire.
I will just add though : the people posing with cars, in lorry cabs, in hi viz, on bikes, snowboarding etc... I'm not quite sure if they're actually photos for women to enjoy at all.
They seem more designed to appeal to the type of guy who finds these things impressive.
Its the sort of thing I could imagine my little boy posting to impress his friends

To the posters asking about 420and other possible drug references, as well as 420, anyone who talks a lot about partying and festivals is likely to be a drug user.
420 is widely used as weed code because 20th April is international weed appreciation day.

Ooh another one. One of my friends was setting up his profile. He asked me for advice. He's a keen fisherman. I said 'whatever you do, please don't post any photos of yourself with big fish. He was a bit defensive about it but as he's been single a looooong time I presumed he'd take it on board (geddit?)
He later contacted me via the dating app.
Anyone care to hazard a guess what he was holding on his main profile pic?

No photo
No shirt ie topless
Saying slim when has massive gut
Weighs 80kg but wants woman to weigh less than 50kg
Likes erotic films
Says that he likes a woman's breasts arse etc when there's an option to say curves
Tatoos
Pierced ears
Smokes

Sélection a bit limited in rural SW France

Looks like I'm going to be a mad cat lady in old age

Social media is definitely used for dating too- I think apps like TikTok are going in that direction.
What’s Facebook dating? I’ve not come across that? How does that work?

I've been caught out with bad teeth 4 times 🤦‍♀️. Either front teeth are missing or they're rotten and turning black 🤢.

I had 3 different men message yesterday. All started their messages with something like 'hello babes/gorgeous/beautiful'. I thought right fuck this and replied 'before I delete, just letting you know that most women find this repulsive'. One was apologetic, another said 'actually no, not at all, girls love this' and the other asked if I wanted more pics. For fuck sake. There is no hope!

I can well believe some women do love it/fall for it. Some women will lap up any form of flattery. It won't even occur to some women that they'll have sent 40+ identical messages out!

I didn't reply to anyone unless it was clear from their message that they had read my profile first.

It clearly works. I used to know a man who, when he was at university, used to have a similarly crass in person opening line - something like "fancy a fuck". He and his mate reckoned it had a 10% success rate!

I've done the freedom programme and there wasn't any mention of how to watch out for the red flags or how to spot a predator online. I've had to learn the hard way. Sites like MN are fab for sharing info and it's great to know that so many other women think the same way.

In a way I'm glad that these creeps aren't aware of their behaviour, at least we can immediately filter them out.

Nothing worse than someone who has learnt to hide his red flags.

The teeth thing - that’s bizarre! Imagine having missing/black teeth and thinking “I know, I just won’t smile in my profile pic, it’ll be fine”. Why wouldn’t you get them sorted out first? How can they even want to date When most women are obviously going to struggle with that - I haven’t plucked up the confidence to date and I’m reasonably ok looking, clean and groomed at least. I haven’t met many People in RL with unfixed tooth problems like this - where are these men coming from?

I suppose it kind of means it does make sense when some of them explain that they do in fact have teeth :o

@TheTroutofNoCraic I have to ask what a lesbian pose is?

Agree with so many of these. All of which I experienced in my time online dating.

The mystery of the missing teeth 😂 well....

3 of the 4 men had sob stories about what happened to their teeth 🙄

Man 1: was attacked on a night out, he sustained some bad scars on his face and damaged his teeth. What a load of BS, the front teeth were so badly corroded/rotten and in a concave shape, it could only have been caused by drugs/poor diet/dental hygiene.

Man 2: was fixing his refectory deceased fathers garage roof and fell off causing him to smash a few teeth. Again, the shape and blackness was so that they were just rotten 🤢, again maybe/probably caused by drugs

Man 3: long periods of being in hospital with organ failure. Teeth fell out, bar a few. Probably true and did eventually get veneers (on the NHS).

If my teeth were rotten or missing there is no chance I'd go on a date with anyone.

My only thinking is that the cost of repairing or replacing teeth is incredibly expensive and they'd rather not spend the money, instead they choose to lie about it and make women feel sorry for them

*recently deceased 🙈

Hmmm I've met several guys with bad or stained teeth.. The weird thing is I never even notice til later on and we're ready involved, which is very odd, maybe they learn the art of smiling carefully?
I was chatting to someone for ages who lives very close to me, he never wanted to meet up and eventually td me he'd had an accident and lost all his teeth and was awaiting an operation to replace them...

The ones with the big long angry rants about people blocking them, stuck up people ignoring their messages being rude etc. They make for a funny read though. I don't actually meet or talk to anyone on old anymore but i do sometimes go and read my messages and some profiles just for a laugh. There are more ridiculous than not

Haven't done OLD for a few years but remember all these shitshows of 'sapiosexuals', topless selfies and obvious misogynists complaining about wanting a normal woman.

Some of my filters:

• no female authors/musicians in their list of favourite authors/musicians
• only willing to date younger women
• poor spelling and grammar or bare profile

Other irksome issues:

• 'gin afficionados' (I went to a gin bar with one and he repeatedly ordered Hendrick's)
• vintage/retro fans (i.e. wants to hang out in east London sometimes)
• into improv (some of the dullest, most humourless men ever)
• strong hints of Oxbridge on their profile (uses it to wow/shag women)
• strong hints or blatant talk of banking/finance occupation (uses it to wow/shag women)

This might be ‘just me’ but I instantly swipe left on any man wearing thick gold chains around their necks and/or earrings. For context, my ‘pool’ is over 50s...I just think any man that age wearing earrings and thick gold chains is probably not my type of guy 🤷‍♀️ (But as I said, this could just be me!)

Ooh, any who call women females or the female, a female. Personally I also hate 'the lady'.
Bragging about having 'female friends', being good with their hands or great at massage.

A man surrounded by attractive women in all of his photos. Comes across as shallow

Mans perspective.

All photos plastered in make up, leaving the viewer not a clue what you actually look like.
Filters.
Duck face.
Pics from a distance on on top of a mountain where they're a spec in the distance - why bother?
Photos of a dog.
Selfies taken in a public toilet.
Blurred, poor quality photos.
Every pic is with a group of friends, often the same friends so there's no indication of who the profile is.
Photos of them with ex-partners.
Every photo is of them in a pub or club.
Tattoos.
Poor use of English.
Semi aggressive, negative, almost hostile bios of all the things they don't want, making them sound like hard work and high maintenance.

@GinWithRosie oh yes, it’s definitely not just you!! Think gold chains and earrings get an instant swipe left!

It’s odd, but before doing OLD I didn’t realise I had a ‘type’ but now realise I definitely do! Big smile with laughing eyes and I’m giving then a second look, then it seems I subconsciously do a check list of earring, jewellery, etc then move on to additional pics (which hopefully they have) and then its a case of body shape (I don’t do skinny or too slim), are they all selfies (big no no, it smacks of someone not having friends), don’t mind pics with dogs or cats. If they pass all that and are within a decent driving distance I’ll swipe right!! Sadly not that many fall into my criteria!!

Interestingly, though don’t you find that some people, even though they don’t immediately capture you with their pic, if they do send you a decent message your attitude changes? I had someone message me yesterday and their message was so funny, friendly and a bit self-deprecating that I just had to reply!

I wonder what guys find as a turn off for female profiles?