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Original poster

Is it unusual for a man NOT to watch porn?

93 replies

Bearski77 · 14/05/2020 14:46

I've just been reading a separate thread on porn, which was about women being upset at their partners watching it. My possibly strange view is that I would rather my dh did watch it! We haven't had sex for nine years, nothing sexual or intimate at all, not even a kiss. So you'd think he'd need to find something else to satisfy his needs, but no. He'll stay up late with the telly on, but watching recordings of all the politics programmes like Newsnight, Peston etc. He even watched a re-run of the bloody election results on Christmas Day ffs!!! Anyway, I was talking to my friend about this yesterday and she asked if he ever tried it on with me, and no he never has. She asked if he seemed to fancy me at all and I said no. So she assumed he must watch porn but I said he doesn't and she was really shocked. So is he just a total non-sexual man? Is this normal???

OP posts:
Rocaille · 15/05/2020 00:59

Why wouldn't they watch it?

Because porn is for cucks. Some men avoid it for this reason.

Peppafrig · 15/05/2020 01:07

Did someone really say their father didn't watch porn. How the hell would you know if he did ? Do you expect to phone him and he answers hello daughter i have been up all night knocking one out watching porn. FFS.

ducksback · 15/05/2020 01:08

It’s very unusual for a man not to watch porn
It would indicate low sex drive or an extremely active sex life

Or it could indicate that he is a decent man who cares about the rape and trafficking of vulnerable women and does not see this as wank fodder.

PumpkinP · 15/05/2020 01:17

I’ve never dated a man that has said he doesn’t watch it.

overtly · 15/05/2020 05:07

DH doesn't watch porn - I'm inclined to believe him as I'v never 'caught' him watching it. If asked (by me) he's said the whole forced/fake nature of it isn't for him. We do have an active sex life though. Globally I believe one of the biggest (or the biggest?) uses of the internet is to watch porn, with women obviously also watching it.

PhilCornwall1 · 15/05/2020 05:51

I don't watch it, every now and then me and my wife may do to spice things up a little in the bedroom, but it's not often (the porn watching that is!!).

I'm not even sure if it's blocked by our ISP or not, we recently changed ISP and haven't done anything with parental controls, so chances are it's blocked by default at the moment.

goldenhairedkiwi · 15/05/2020 06:19

Lets not forget that a lot of women watch porn too. Many still embarrassed to admit it, especially young women.

LivingThatLockdownLife · 15/05/2020 06:42

I've had plenty of boyfriends who had seen a bit of porn but didn't regularly use it. Perfectly happy with normal sex. Perfectly happy using their imaginations. That's not me flattering myself. I believe plenty of men do have ethical and moral stances which mean they dislike porn and the industry that produces it, they just aren't as vocal as a woman might be. There's a lot of peer pressure.

totallyyesno · 15/05/2020 06:45

I personally am sort of ok with porn if it's just passively watching ...I do have reservations about the whole objectifying women side of porn, not to mention the fact that I do know that many of the women involved are coerced and may be even sex trafficed. I also think that too much porn does probably desensitise some men.
Wow. So you've basically outlined how it ruins lives and then said you're ok with that. This thread is so unbelievably sad that something so toxic, especially for women, is just seen as mainstream now.

Anothernick · 15/05/2020 08:12

Men normally have a physical need to ejaculate regularly, - after a certain time, 5-7 days for me, you start to get agitated, unwanted erections materialise at awkward moments and it can be difficult to sleep. It's quite hard to believe that a healthy man could go nine years without any form of sexual release and it's even harder to believe that he doesn't care about it. Sounds as though he is genuinely asexual.

ducksback · 15/05/2020 08:14

This thread is so unbelievably sad that something so toxic, especially for women, is just seen as mainstream now

It is grim readng that's for sure.

MonkeyToesOfDoom · 15/05/2020 08:27

Men normally have a physical need to ejaculate regularly, - after a certain time, 5-7 days for me, you start to get agitated, unwanted erections materialise at awkward moments and it can be difficult to sleep.

What a load of bollocks. Used by twats to pressure women into sex for generations.
Men produce millions of sperm a day, the vast majority get reabsorbed back into the body. There is no physical need for a healthy adult to ejaculate, if someone gets moody like a childish dick head cause he hasn't had a wank, he needs his head looking at, not his balls.

Caramel78 · 15/05/2020 08:32

My DP used to watch a lot of porn when he was younger but he says he never watches it anymore as it now bores him. He’s got no reason to lie as he knows I don’t care if he does watch it.
He’s 36 and we have sex a few times a week if that makes any difference.

BubblyBarbara · 15/05/2020 08:56

What a load of bollocks. Used by twats to pressure women into sex for generations.

Exactly. It's up there with people who get "depressed" from not being able to hug people or such like

Strugglingtodomybest · 15/05/2020 09:01

I'm 99.99% recurring sure that my DH doesn't watch it. We borrowed some porn dvds off our friends about 10-15 years ago, but were both shocked by how unsexy and violent the porn was (we'd both only previously watched 70s style porn with story lines).

This prompted me to actually think about the industry, do a bit of research and then decide it was not something I wanted to be a part of. DH agreed. He may have been lying, but if he was, he's done a terrific job of hiding it.

None of my boyfriends previous to DH appeared to watch it either, or at least never mentioned it. I was quite open to it back then so there would have been no reason to hide it.

Strugglingtodomybest · 15/05/2020 09:03

Also, men can wank without porn. Some pp's seem to be saying that if he's not having sex with OP or watching porn then he must be asexual which isn't true.

BubblyBarbara · 15/05/2020 09:05

How do we define"porn" though? I could understand many people not watching full on videos of smut like this, but what about looking at naked photos or adult magazines? These are not the same kettle of fish. Not "watching porn" and never seeing another person naked in a sexual way seem to have become different concepts here...

Branleuse · 15/05/2020 09:09

Itd be unusual for a man to have never watched it I think. Most people surely would have watched it at some point even if they choose not to now because once you know more about the industry and how toxic it is, it kind of loses the majority of its appeal.

ducksback · 15/05/2020 09:39

What a load of bollocks. Used by twats to pressure women into sex for generations

Agreed. I could not believe what I was reading there for a second...surely people don't really believe that crap?

MrsTumbletap · 15/05/2020 09:50

I had an ex boyfriend that had a very low sex drive, very very low. Then I stumbled across his massive porn addiction, massive stack of DVDs wasn't even hidden very well.

I split up with him shortly afterwards. Don't think he has had a girlfriend since. Twat.

ducksback · 15/05/2020 09:53

Porn is the bolt hole of inadequate men who do not value women it seems to me. Who the fuck would watch this crap KNOWING that the women involved could be coerced/raped for their entertainment.

Original poster
Bearski77 · 15/05/2020 09:59

'This thread has 69 messages' lol.

Wow, thanks for all the replies, sorry I haven't been back to respond, mega busy with work etc.

Anyway, @thepeopleversuswork and @Whathewhatnow yes, the problem is the nine years thing. What happened to us? I'm not really sure. I suppose the fact is I just don't fancy the man anymore, and have been gradually worn down over the years by his lack of interest in me, him just doing his own thing etc, so now I absolutely do not want to give him sex. He never even tries it on with me. We've talked about it recently, and he says it's my fault we haven't had sex for years and that he assumed I just didn't enjoy it and would rather we never did it. He says he would like to , but to be honest, he's just not a 'manly' type of man, if you see what I mean. Through our whole relationship he has never for example come up behind me in the kitchen and put his arms round me and given me a sexy cuddle. Never goes in for a kiss etc.... I just don't think it occurs to him. In fact, and this may be way off the mark, but is it one of the signs of autism??? I realise I'm going off topic here, but maybe it's a possibility?
Yes, I do watch porn occasionally, and masturbate, because it's all I've got. My sex drive is normal (I guess!) and I need to re-start my sex life or be stuck like this forever. It's a well covered topic on here, but here I am like everyone else, feeling selfish for possibly breaking up my family all because I'm not getting any sex. I'd love for us to both be happy with new partners in the future, but I feel like I'm sending him off into the wilderness if this is not a positive benefit for his future when it would be for mine, if that makes sense.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bearski77 · 15/05/2020 10:01

Oh, also, if he ever happens to catch me coming out of the shower naked, or in a little towel or something, he'll go "ooops, sorry!" as if he's caught his mum in the buff...........

OP posts:
Flyingf1edgelings · 15/05/2020 10:12

My husband doesnt watch porn he has no interest. He does have sex a drive though.

RantyAnty · 15/05/2020 10:15

He might not watch porn but certainly he masturbates. He might be using his imagination or looking at photos.

Some men are starting to see porn as bad, not because it's degrading or exploitive to women, but they found out it breaks their dicks.