Is it unusual for a man NOT to watch porn?

[Bearski77]

I've just been reading a separate thread on porn, which was about women being upset at their partners watching it. My possibly strange view is that I would rather my dh did watch it! We haven't had sex for nine years, nothing sexual or intimate at all, not even a kiss. So you'd think he'd need to find something else to satisfy his needs, but no. He'll stay up late with the telly on, but watching recordings of all the politics programmes like Newsnight, Peston etc. He even watched a re-run of the bloody election results on Christmas Day ffs!!! Anyway, I was talking to my friend about this yesterday and she asked if he ever tried it on with me, and no he never has. She asked if he seemed to fancy me at all and I said no. So she assumed he must watch porn but I said he doesn't and she was really shocked. So is he just a total non-sexual man? Is this normal???

Not all men watch porn, no.
My father never did, was very against it. Neither did my DH when I was married, but he was intensely religious and felt porn was wrong.
I can't say I have either, have never felt the need...

Unusual but that doesn't mean abnormal. There are lots of asexual people. You are very lucky to have a DH who isn't a mucky sex obsessed pervert like most men in my opinion

My last partner was intensely religious and had all sorts of sexual hang ups but... he still watched porn. I know this because one morning I reached over to turn of his alarm and he had a pornhub window open on safari. He isnt very tech literate

Give me a mucky sex obsessed pervert over an asexual or repressed person any day....well obviously not a pervert but someone who's ilmildly obsessed with sex is a good thing...

Not being sexual isn't being "repressed" any more than a non smoker is missing out on something. It's a pointless habit for most people just because "it feels nice."

It was quite a shock to see a gang bang in the middle of coronation street confused

.

I'm glad it wasn't in coronation Street, let's be honest, many of the actors are chosen for character rather than looks.

Anyway,what an absolute twat accidentally steaming his porn to your TV .. there would to need to have been any kids (or even teenagers) in the room.

I've only known one who didnt so far (he had tried it but said it wasn't his thing, he'd much rather replay a favourite encounter with a sexual partner to masturbate).

He was utterly tech illiterate and would not have been seeking out dvds of porn (where do you even get those now) and had five nosey kids in the house who were into everything anyway so I believe him.

My DH said that the amount of porn men watch depends on

1. Their age
2. How much sex they are having

He doesn't think it's something his mates do- mostly 45-50 yr old married men.

We watched a bit in our early marriage - he gets sent some dodgy videos clips from 2 'mates' he doesn't go looking and can't remember the last time he watch any.

I said "or", I didnt conflate asexual and repressed. Or at least that was not my intention.
I know some people are actually asexual looking at you, another ex partner. If you aheb normative sexual interests you cannot have a happy relationship with someone who is asexual. Been there. Done that!

It's funny how these middle aged men are so quick to write off the idea that their friends will be viewing porn. . I do not believe it for a second. It's just less socially acceptable among that demographic! I'll never forget my dads sudden affinity for naked avant garde ballet. He has no interest in the arts :) but that was what was available then!

It was quite a shock to see a gang bang in the middle of coronation street

I think it's fine, OP. People seem to forget that men are also capable of using their imaginations- not all need visual stimulus to have a wank.

I'm also of the school that believes that the vast vast majority of men consume some porn, even if they may disapprove of it, feel ick about it or do it "ironically". I have yet to meet one that has never tried it. In my experience the ones that insist the most strenuously that its exploitative are the ones who tend to hide it the best.

That aside, I think the porn is a bit of a red herring. What I find much more noteworthy is that neither you nor your husband appear to feel the slightest desire, for one another or anyone else. What has happened to you both to render you so uninterested in sex?

My partner is into porn AND boring political analysis. Double whammy :p

Absolutely right. No sex in 9 years would be a no go for me..what happened OP?? The fact you posted suggests it matters to you :(

I have strong objections to porn on feminist / exploitation grounds and my partner knows this and agrees with it. I’ve got no problem with him masturbating alone (and I’m sure he does!). He says he doesn’t use porn, if he actually does that’s between him and his conscience. I don’t think he does though.

I’ve had boyfriends that do and the stuff that I’ve seen is weird to me. So unerotic. One video (old fashioned, it was actually a VHS!) was just a close up of a cock going into a vagina. It that hot?

@LivingDeadGirlUK you are living the dream 😂 actually that probably describes me

We haven't had sex for nine years, nothing sexual or intimate at all, not even a kiss

I think that is very unusual! I'd be focusing on that.

To have never seen porn would be unusual. But to not watch it? Perfectly normal, I'd say. I wouldn't know whether they'd be in a minority or not. Some men simply won't be comfortable with it or find it enjoyable.

this ^

I think it is perfectly normal and not at all unusual to not watch porn.
I assumed that it was something you tried to catch a glimpse of as a boy / teen and then the overwhelming majority grow out of it.
Something you'd expect 'The Inbetweeners' to be trying to watch, not normal adults in happy relationships.

LivingDead

^I assumed that it was something you tried to catch a glimpse of as a boy / teen and then the overwhelming majority grow out of it.
Something you'd expect 'The Inbetweeners' to be trying to watch, not normal adults in happy relationships.^

Erm, enough people/men watch it that the porn sites do very well.

My dp says he doesn't watch porn, and I hope he's telling the truth. When we were first together I told him I didn't care if he watched it, so he had no reason to lie, but he said he didn't. Later as I learned more about the industry I was sickened that I'd ever been OK with it. Dp knows my feelings on it now, and so if I found him watching it despite that I'd probably leave him. The thought of being with someone who may have jacked off to a rape is just too unbearable. But I do think sadly that men who don't watch it are a minority. Even worse is that most men will just shrug their shoulders and watch it anyway even after they learn that there's no way of knowing if they're watching filmed rape or not. Many of them just don't care how the content ended up there. Totally vile industry.

I don't think as many men watch porn as we think they do.

Im sure most have seen it at some point and maybe go through phases....just as women do...but in my big relationships they didnt

My ex and current both think its a bit ...meh...

I mean the acting is shit mostly. Really, really terrible. As is the horrible misogynistic plotlines.

I prefer the amateur stuff by a country mile. Real people having loving sex.

As are.