new covid guidelines: is everyone in a non-live-in relationship still not seeing their partner?

[SenselessUbiquity]

Given that there has been no mention at all of social interaction beyond:
1 - meeting one other person outdoors at a distance of 2m
2- in the relatively far off future, being possibly able to socialise in "bubbles" with one other household thus facilitating childcare etc

basically if you are in a relationship with someone whose household or day to day life you do not share, there is no mention at all of when that will resume.

What does that realistically mean in terms of what people are actually doing?

• following the rules to the letter? for as long as it takes?
• saying "fuck it" and meeting indoors and being physically close anyway, in secret?
• somewhere in between?

Please tell me the truth. I won't tell a soul!

@Sunnydays123456, @Mascotte
Yeah I feel totally torn. He is clearly struggling too with an absolute conviction that he will die if he gets it and that he has to avoid it completely. But he is also struggling with the isolation too and obviously covid is not really anyone's fault. So it feels mean to drop him but I just can't see how there is a future of a years' relationship which may be another year before we can spend any decent quality time together.

@Otter71 this is awful.

Did you say you are a nurse so can’t wfh ?

@Otter71 how realistic are his worries? Have you told him how you're feeling? Does he have anxiety, it does sound a bit OTT to me. And not very sexy!

How involved are you? I think I'd detach a bit more and prepare for ending it. Step back again and see what he does?

Otter, that sounds really sad. I think you have to have some real talk. He can't live like that for ever and it might be that his connection with you - however notional - is all that's making it seem sustainable. It's arguably sort of enabling - not that I'm blaming you - but you're pouring emotional energy into a situation that doesn't work for you, and maybe wouldn't work for him if you were a bit more realistic.

Good luck. It might be time to move on :(

Otter
You'll always be a risk for any infectious disease. Not just covid.
As such, I'd give him the choice of risking it with you or not risking it without you.

@Lweji. Exactly my point. I tried discussing this on Sunday but he just kept going on about how it is only covid he is scared of and not noro or anything, but also had apparently not processed that flu jabs are only 50 % effective means I can still get and pass on even if we both get flu jabs.
I accept that as a healthcare worker I am apparently 6x higher risk of getting it - but I suspect that actually means 6x more likely to have already had it. We were all treating covid positive patients with inadequate ppe in the early days and many colleagues had covid like symptoms early on, before lockdown, so may have had it but it was when they had run out of swabs for community use
I was out in a car with my then student who then had symptoms next day. I was in with the known positive patient whose hypoxia meant they pulled my PPE and ripped it off. . PPE isn't as good for community nurses as hospital ones because hey I don't have a shower or changing room in my car. But of course the real acute cases can often be passed on to the hospital - except in the early days they were sending lots home to die... But any future pandemic would have the same issues and so it could mean moving forward to living together is impossible if I would then end up homeless... I guess I need to have that convo again... Hard cos I thought things were going really well until lockdown...

Oh Otter, this is really hard. I understand his fears and honestly the way this has been reported has emphasised the dangers in a really unique way - as if nothing else has ever been dangerous. Your knowledge and experience gives you a much more developed and nuanced notion of risk.

I think he just can't "hear" you on this. I'm sorry.

Sounds so hard @Otter71
He must be genuinely terrified to not see you but I'm not sure I could continue a relationship like this either. Is his condition a real risk? Can you get the antibody test to see if you have had it?

Did you all see this article ?

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/jun/18/dominic-cummings-single-mother-support-bubbles

Support bubbles specifically exclude those shielding unfortunately

Wow @Sunnydays123456 wouldnt it be bizarre if they brought in support bubbles on the back of a letter to DC!!