new covid guidelines: is everyone in a non-live-in relationship still not seeing their partner?

[SenselessUbiquity]

Given that there has been no mention at all of social interaction beyond:
1 - meeting one other person outdoors at a distance of 2m
2- in the relatively far off future, being possibly able to socialise in "bubbles" with one other household thus facilitating childcare etc

basically if you are in a relationship with someone whose household or day to day life you do not share, there is no mention at all of when that will resume.

What does that realistically mean in terms of what people are actually doing?

• following the rules to the letter? for as long as it takes?
• saying "fuck it" and meeting indoors and being physically close anyway, in secret?
• somewhere in between?

Please tell me the truth. I won't tell a soul!

I'm so worried about my neighbours, I live in a small village in a cul de sac so i expect the curtains will be twitching! He wants to come over and I'd love him to. I think I'll chance it but will be a nervous wreck (I already am at the thought!) and will hang my head in shame when he goes - keep imagining the neighbours outside with pitch forks! I don't think this is right anymore though, not when you see what IS allowed

Agreed, @Sunnydays123456!

@booboo24 I live in a small village culdesac too. My neighbours have been meeting for coffee and drinks in the street since the start of lockdown, which technically was never allowed even though they stayed 2m apart, and one of my neighbours have had their daughter and granddaughter to visit before you were allowed to have people in your garden, so I don't think anyone here is really strict on the rules. That said, DP is going to park in a different street and walk round so that even if someone sees him arrive they won't know when he leaves and can't prove that he was here overnight. Even if they seem him leave, he could theoretically have left the previous day and then come back that morning, it's not in their face that he stayed overnight like it would be if his car was outside.

Don't let your neighbours make you feel ashamed. I feel like if they'll judge me for having him over, they've probably already judged me for being a single mum and in that case they're not worth worrying about. You only get one life, live it for you

Completely agree Booboo

Me. I’ve broken the law/guidelines more than once. Neither of us need a dbs for work and don’t care. Not having a bunch of overpaid, unless, lying, hypocrites tell me I cannot have a “normal” relationship.

Plus if your not asleep then no one is staying over. Does help if you’re natural insomniacs/require little sleep.

@eyebrowsofinstagram if he’s still got symptoms he can still get tested. He should give them a call and talk to them. The number is 119. Until I knew that uncertainty was really hard because I didn’t want to infect people, I would wish this on anyone.

@booboo24 once you do it it will feel fine !

Of you can time it right, finish on a Thursday at 8pm. Lay back and enjoy the applause you hear

@booboo24 I'm seeing my partner tomorrow for the first time in 11 weeks - he lives 2 hours away from me and I'm staying over night at his. He actually offered to come up to my house, but to be honest I want to go to his as it's a change of scenery! He will come to mine next time.

We've kept to the rules throughout, both minimal risk as working solely alone. I have one young adult DC living at home, but they are currently staying with their dad for the next 5 days. We've discussed this at length over the past few weeks and just think we need to make our own judgement now. I don't give a shit if it is now deemed illegal. There are worse 'crimes'.

We won't be going anywhere else, just staying in together to take the time to reconnect properly (that's not a euphemism btw). I'm not saying the relationship has took a slide, we both still feel certain about each other but, I have started to feel disconnected from pretty much everything lately and feel low.

You've mentioned about your neighbours, but I would just get on with what you want to do. I was chatting over the fence to one of my neighbours and we got onto the subject of me and my partner. She was shocked that we haven't seen each other and said I should just tell him to come over. In the grand scheme of things, MOST people have kept to the rules and in every street/road/community there will be a minority who haven't followed lockdown rules at all...I don't consider myself or anyone else on this thread wanted to see their partner, as one who is taking the piss.

Just see your partner. You aren't going to a beach, having a massive party or spitting at people knowing you have the virus. I honestly wish I had not been so stringent with the rules myself and had broken lockdown weeks ago to see him. Enough is enough.

I have started to feel disconnected from pretty much everything lately and feel low.
@PinkMonkeyBird I could have written that. I feel like my relationship with DP is just fading away and it's not because we don't love each other etc, I just can't keep that connection with it under lockdown conditions. I'm glad you're seeing your partner too

@booboo24 I totally understand the nerves, by the way. My DP said he's excited about seeing me and I can't say the same back just because of my anxiety, I'm stressing. Doesn't mean I don't want to see him, as I've said I really need to, but it is complicated and we've been conditioned over these past few months to feel like we're doing something bad if we see each other. It's not fair on any of us xx

@booboo24
The first crime I committed was I went for a walk, which as a shielded some would throw me in prison style isolation.
My sanity needed the walk. And quite a few times since.

Whilst I had the virus I obviously couldn’t be around anyone. It was so incredibly hard. I’ve done isolation before, last time was last year. There were restrictions and ppe but I was still allowed that intimacy you only get from a partner.

We did a very hard social distancing meet. Later that night, all dressed in black, when most people would be in bed, or not curtain twitching I went to his. I text him from around the corner, and he was at the door. We didn’t have sex, we just held each other like we did last year.

He’s since been here and I back to his. My neighbours are curtain twitchers. I already know what they think of me, and they know I no longer give a fuck what they think.

I totally understand the nerves, by the way. My DP said he's excited about seeing me and I can't say the same back just because of my anxiety, I'm stressing. Doesn't mean I don't want to see him, as I've said I really need to, but it is complicated and we've been conditioned over these past few months to feel like we're doing something bad if we see each other. It's not fair on any of us

@firebrand123 I think we are feeling exactly the same! I do love him and he's excited, but I am also anxious. It's all such a mind fuck.

Wonder if being yet another worldwide laughing stock will force one of the muppets to recant this stupidness.

It’s almost like they are making up any old shite to piss us off and get them thrown out. As much as
I would love them gone, they need to grow a pair of balls and deal effectively with this. And who the fuck would want to try and unpick all these monumental cockups.

@PinkMonkeyBird It really is!!! I hope we can both relax enough to enjoy it, hopefully once we're actually with our DP's we'll feel better x

@canigooutyet It does sometimes feel like they're just doing really random stuff! The whole logic of live under one roof = safe, live under 2 roofs = unsafe is so oversimplified... meanwhile they're rushing into opening all shops which will lead to far more people being together indoors for prolonged periods... I just feel like I've given up now. If I had any faith that the rules were being created by people who were putting real logic and scientific evidence into it, I'd be more likely to abide by it and wait to see my DP.

I am in NZ and my partner has to go back to the UK shortly before lockdown and now can't come back as was only on a work visa. It's been months and will be many more yet and is horrible.

Oh @Athrawes, that must be so hard

@firebrand123 I feel the same, I'm more worried than excited, I have to keep telling myself I haven't done anything wrong yet, not until he steps foot inside the house, but my nerves are shot to pieces. I've spent much of the last few days thinking up scenarios and also thinking of where he can park and how he can sneak in. I hate having to act like this, and be made to feel like I'm doing something so wrong in wanting to see my partner.

Like you, I know that some of my neighbours have been less than perfect throughout this, but they are a cliquey lot some of them, and they are the sort who would be outside with their pitch forks if anyone did similar!

I am however going to try and shut my mind to that and have him over.

@PinkMonkeyBird I agree totally, hopefully people will feel the same, we have been caught up in no man's land really as we don't fit into the cohabiting OR friends categories and it feels so wrong. My elderly neighbour said similar a few weeks ago, she was surprised I hadn't let him come over, so hopefully she will be fine.

I hope you and firebrand both have a lovely time and that none of us spend the next week worrying over it all having done it!

@canigooutyet Brilliant, he can turn up to all the applause, actually if I make enough noise I can detract from him rushing by and in the door! I'm glad you've made the decision too, it's a tough one but a measured risk. Hope it helps seeing him

@Athrawes I'm so sorry, what a terrible situation, I truly hope you find a way to be together soon

I've sent ANOTHER question to the daily briefing too, I'm going to bombard them daily, might even send one in all in capital letters if they don't bloody listen!

Booboo how do you send a question to the briefing?
Perhaps we should all start to do that?

What about Jeremy Vine, has it been discussed on there? That sometimes gets interest out there?

I’d send a question into the briefing too, but I don’t think you can do it anonymously? I Don’t think it would go down very well at work if ended up on TV questioning a Government minister.

However I did write to my MP (Conservative). I’ve had a pretty standard reply back from one of his assistants,linking me to guidance etc that I am already aware of. I did have to email her back and correct her facts on couple of points though.

I really pushed point about how our situation sits alongside the next stage of lockdown easing. In 4 weeks time I believe we could see bars and restaurants reopening. It’s incomprehensible to me how we could have this happening and we still be banned from seeing partners properly.

I also said that our situation was being ignored by Government who only refer to friends and family. The relationship with my partner is not the same as someone’s mate down the pub!

They’ll relax it soon as holiday industry is gonnna be up and running early July ! So they can’t say you can’t stay in a different house overnight !

@Sunnydays123456 - I did wonder that. I saw an article in the press today suggesting that holiday let’s in the UK could reopen next month but it is linked to the issue of people staying in other homes overnight.

Otherwise we’ll all just be renting the nearest holiday let to us and sharing that while we work from ‘home’!

I’d send a question into the briefing too, but I don’t think you can do it anonymously? I Don’t think it would go down very well at work if ended up on TV questioning a Government minister.

You can be pretty anonymous. You have to give your email address and name on the website, but they only ever read out your first name at the briefing and you can choose to make a video of you asking your question or to have it read out by the minister who is leading the briefing.

@VivaVegas and @fentyplenty if you go to Gov.uk there's a link there to ask a question. You only have to declare you're over 18, it asks for a full name (I only entered my first name) then mine was pre filled out with my mobile number and email address already, and it asks for a region, so it's not obvious who you are to Joe Public. You do have the option to record a video but I've always gone for a written message!!!

I wouldn’t even bother yourselves worrying about it - just see your partner and enjoy life !

@Sunnydays123456 I will but will still.worry haha, I wish you were all my neighbours!!!!!