new covid guidelines: is everyone in a non-live-in relationship still not seeing their partner?

[SenselessUbiquity]

Given that there has been no mention at all of social interaction beyond:
1 - meeting one other person outdoors at a distance of 2m
2- in the relatively far off future, being possibly able to socialise in "bubbles" with one other household thus facilitating childcare etc

basically if you are in a relationship with someone whose household or day to day life you do not share, there is no mention at all of when that will resume.

What does that realistically mean in terms of what people are actually doing?

• following the rules to the letter? for as long as it takes?
• saying "fuck it" and meeting indoors and being physically close anyway, in secret?
• somewhere in between?

Please tell me the truth. I won't tell a soul!

Are children not extra to the bubble though as they've always been allowed to go between parents?

booboo24 that's a point...Even though dp hasn't seen his son at all (son is severely asthmatic) I suppose it's a pre-existing arrangement that's extra to any 'bubble' that might happen.

I hope so, although my 2 haven't seen their dad either as he is a frontline worker, and so we both decided it was safer not to yet. I really hope that is extra or there will be a lot of families having to bubble with exes!!!!

“ I'm living alone and just think it's inhumane to not think about how there's many people who now are facing months having not seen a soul”

I’m in the same position.

I’m single and today a neighbour (tower block) told me she’s planning to visit her boyfriend because she thinks -as do I - there will never be an announcement that this is okay. I think at the start, people thought “okay, the nhs needs three weeks to gear up” but not that it would ever come to this.

If someone reports this kind of visit to the police, will they do anything? I hope not.

Sorry, I just mention tower block because we’ve got tons of flats and she might well ha e just to,d me because I don’t know her name or which flat she’s in and couldnt snitch - not that I ever would.

She told me like she was busting to tell someone.

The government have shredded society.

I've not seen mine and it's really hard. For a while I talked myself into thinking maybe it was better to just split up. I think it was a weird way of coping emotionally and sure there are things about being alone I love (I hate sharing a bed and like living my myself) but I miss him like mad now. I won't see him though and will wait till its safe to mix households again. Agree that this hasn't been a concern of anyone in charge.

amber “ I won't see him though and will wait till its safe to mix households again”

You’re allowed to see him if you work as his cleaner. Why wait till the government say “safe”. It’s all a bunch of shit.

Not seeing him. I think a 2m apart walk would be pointless. Currently, we both go for a walk at the same time and video call as we walk so it's more or less the same as being there 2m apart - nicer, because we both have different things to talk about on the walk.
Dp reckons he's staying isolated until there is a vaccine. He's not even been in a shop. He disinfects all his shopping when it arrives and all mail and deliveries.

I'm nowhere near as fastidious but I did isolated for five weeks as my dad was terminally ill, so I came to their house when it was near the end and am now staying with mum as she can't go out and she would not be coping currently.

Luckily I can work from home at mum's.

No way could I ever live with dp. And if he is isolating until there is a vaccine then we won't be seeing each other for over a year. Not sure the relationship would really survive that. I'm already getting to the point where I don't want to call him every day.

I haven't seen mine. I don't know when I will either. It may be that we are 'allowed' soon so will meet up but overnights? I don't know when I will feel comfortable because although I live with my children he has his every other weekend and their mum is a key worker facing the public.
I just won't feel comfortable getting up close and personal and thinking 'is he incubating covid?'
Apparently risks of transmission through children are small but its still there. The risk of me having adverse effects from Covid are statistically small but its still not risk free. . We have been together for over 6 years though. I know we will be reunited eventually.

Northern “ I just won't feel comfortable getting up close and personal and thinking 'is he incubating covid”

If there’s no cure or vaccine in a year or so, will you break up? Genuine question.

Very long term relationship but fit very good reasons, we live in two houses. We stayed apart from 14 days at the beginning to ensure we hadn’t caught it but after that we now carry on as we used to together with part of the week in each house. Can’t see how the risk is any different for us than for a cohabiting couple.

Thing is the cleaner or plumber being allowed in your house isn’t a good analogy because I assume you would be distancing from those people in a way you wouldn’t with a partner. I think it completely sucks but I do see the logic behind it.

I’ve asked a question though - great idea whoever suggested that - because it does feel like people with partners they can’t see have been forgotten in all this.

I've been quietly seeing mine as normal from the beginning.

I don't have a partner, so in some ways don't have this problem. A bubble would do nothing for me. The thought of not having any intimate contact with anyone for the rest of the year is pretty depressing all the same. Socially distanced dating is just making friends.

I will be seeing mine for the 1st time since 15 March this weekend, we live 50 miles apart and been together 8 years. Cannot live together just yet (older children still at home) and its been tough. We've both been following govt guidelines up until now and both WFH and only been going to supermarket once a week and seeing no one else so have decided its a risk worth taking.

Like a PP said, I don't think the govt are going to explicitly mention this kind of scenario and will leave it up to people to make their own decisions.

Exactly same - just seems to actually discriminate against people who don’t live together (mine is for kid reasons too) and single people

thank you to everyone who has answered.

Vangoghsdog, so sorry about your dad.

I think I'm hearing roughly what I expected - many people are basically making their own decisions, based on their own sense of the risks.

cheerup, the daters have been really fucked over. I hope things loosen up again for you soon.

It’s discriminatory against people who aren’t in a traditional family unit - the very people who already struggle the most !

Haven't seen mine for 6 weeks now and then 2 before that. We had an 'illegal' night together but both felt guilty for breaking The Rules that we haven't done it since. I have 3 adult kids at home. He has no one and isn't allowed to work (dentist) . The chances of either of us having the virus is minute and we are very tempted to break The Rules very soon.

DD is going to meet her boyfriend tomorrow for a walk for the 1st time since lockdown. They are both temporarily living back at home during lockdown so he is only 25 mins drive away - usually they are living 2 hours apart. We are pretty sure he has already had Covid-19 - he had symptoms the day after he returned to his place after spending the weekend with DD at her student house (so DD has possibly had it too).

Could he not move in with you @Blobby10 for a bit ?

DS is seeing his partner but I think they have moved in together, not exactly sure what’s going on, they both rent separate flats and I think they move between the two, I haven’t questioned him too much about it so as not to appear nosy, though I would like to

@LemonyCupcake he couldn't move in with me as the house is already full with my 3 adult kids at home. I suppose I could move in with him for a bit but we lived together temporarily last year for a couple of weeks whilst I was between houses and decided that two separate homes definitely work better for us! He is much more 'follow the rules' than I am but I'm stil in my normal routine (except for the gym) as working normally.

It has been 8 weeks since I last saw my partner and we live 2 hours away from each other. We discussed breaking lockdown a few weeks ago when both of us felt a bit low and fed up, however we decided to wait until the latest announcement in the hope they would advise the social bubble which is clearly not going to happen any time soon. We are both sticklers for rules, but this is wearing thin with the skewed new rules. I'm also fed up of people saying "You should have just moved in together"...it isn't as easy as that as other factors make it difficult, especially with regards to our work. I also have one DC left at home, but they split their time between here and their dad's every 7-10 days.

Either way, I think we will be back to discussing breaking lockdown to coincide with when my DC goes to their dad's next.

If there’s no cure or vaccine in a year or so, will you break up? Genuine question.

This is a question I need to ask my dp. If he really does decide to stay isolated until there is a vaccine, are we even still in a relationship? It's not like he would see anyone else (I guess unless they fully quarantined for two weeks then moved in and followed all his routines for disinfecting) and I doubt I'll meet anyone else or even be bothered to think about it.

During lockdown we've had my dad die, my mum's 80th birthday, dp's son's birthday, mine and dp anniversary and my birthday. It's been........well, depressing, frankly!