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Original poster

Would you sleep with two different people in the same day?

601 replies

ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 12:53

I don’t mean a threesome.

Purely hypothetical at the moment, but I’m curious to know what people would do.

I only have every other weekend free due to childcare. I have a casual partner, and I’ve been speaking to someone for the past 6 weeks I really want to meet.

When lockdown is lifted (yes, I don’t it’s going to be any time soon hence hypothetical), I would probably see on of them Friday Night and the other Sat night. If I stay over (which I do with my casual), there would be morning sex.

So that’s my question really - would you have morning sex with one person and then have sex with someone else in the evening? I can’t decide if I think it’s fine or a bit weird.

OP posts:
Boomclaps · 10/05/2020 15:16

@ElderflowerPotion

One thing I didn’t think about.
Will they both be in your bed? Because I’m a lazy cow and I don’t think I could be arsed to change the linen immediately. And then I might forget until I got into bed.

But I’m really lazy and really dopey.

Weallhavevalidopinions · 10/05/2020 15:17

Not my thing at all but it's your body your choice... I mean why would any of us worry with what you do and with whom?

ByzantinePrincess · 10/05/2020 15:19

It’s strange how time is a factor here. Sleep with someone and then someone else a year later no-one cares. A month later and most people are fine with it. A week later some think it’s dodgy. Same day and it’s this massive thing. Why? As long as you are safe, not hurting anyone and you are fine with it then crack on - most people saying it’s grim or disgusting don’t have any actual intelligent considered reasons for feeling like that, they’ve just been brainwashed by society and parrot their opinions without actually thinking them through at all

Bookoffacts · 10/05/2020 15:20

I think a man would be judged more.
Double standards again on MN.
All this she can do what she wants...

What about this:
"I was on a date with a bloke I was seeing, and found out the reason I can only see him on Saturday is that he's weekly shagging another woman on Friday nights, and also he slept with her that morning, and me in the evening!

Everyone would say LTB even in casual thing. They wouldn't give him one minute of their time.

SeperatedSwans · 10/05/2020 15:20

Oh god OP is not a slut....Jesus!

And why does any man need to know what I'm up to when no discussion of exclusivity has been discussed?! I would feel extremely possessive if on a first date I asked a man if he was sleeping with someone else! What business of mine is that!

Weallhavevalidopinions · 10/05/2020 15:22

This:

"SodaSloth Sun 10-May-20 14:28:46
Have a wash in between or he'll be tasting the other man"

It's all a bit grim, isn't it... slopping around in someone else's

I think there are men and women who quite happily would sleep with anyone/anytime and pretty much anywhere and at the other end of the spectrum is only if married does sex occur.... the rest of use are in the middle somewhere...

lowlandLucky · 10/05/2020 15:23

Not something i would have done. Do you think it is something you want to do ? If so, why are you asking ? Maybe you are not that comfortable

NameChange84 · 10/05/2020 15:27

Never in a million years.

AnneOfTeenFables · 10/05/2020 15:27

No I wouldn't. I'd decide what was most important to me. Sex with your 'casual' or the possibility of a relationship with the new person?
If I thought the new relationship had any chance, then I wouldn't want it to start with a story about how I shagged someone in the morning and them in the evening.
If it's all about using your free weekends for sex then stick to your casual guy.

THEDEACON · 10/05/2020 15:28

if you want to go ahead what I or anyone else would do is not relevant

Original poster
ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 15:30

@Boomclaps ha, I’d not really thought about that! I think it would easier to go to FWBs so I don’t have to worry it.

I’m also not sure why there is this need to tell them who else I’m sleeping with. They know we’re not exclusive - non-exclusive means ‘able to see other people’. Why would I need to spell it out any more than that?

I would also never go into a first date expecting exclusivity, even if it wasn’t discussed, and I would have concerns about someone I’d literally just met expecting that when we’ve not had a conversation about it first.

OP posts:
WombatChocolate · 10/05/2020 15:31

Bluebell, but if you are going on a first date with someone and end up having sex with them/just meet someone without there ever being a date and end of having sex with them, I'd think it would be good to make clear it certainly wasn't exclusive. Why ever not?

You'd be surprised how many people do have sex on first meeting and think it's the start of something and not just a one-night stand or casual.

I guess you can say that in these casual encounters you owe the other person absolutely zero.....that's zero in terms of any communication or respect or anything. But then I think you're not really viewing them as a human being or acknowledging they might have feelings about it, even if you don't. They really are faceless beings who are just there for sex. But the point is, they are all people. Women haven't liked being treated like this and neither do men.

The reason very casual sex with lots of partners often goes wrong is because somewhere along the line someone has different expectations. Very simple basic communication can avoid this and I think everyone has to be willing to be active in that communication. Mut the problem is people don't communicate. They find it awkward to say 'just so you know, this is just a shag' or to suggest they might be shagging others too, because the other person might feel less attractive knowing that or it might spoil to sexual moment. And they would rather not spoil the sexual moment and let that person be hurt later when they realise it wasn't what they thought or hoped for, rather than consider that other person and communicate. So essentially that sex then becomes very selfish.

So is selfish sex okay? By selfish I mean, sex on your own terms, when the other person has no idea about what those terms actually are? I think not. I think someone can have as many partners as they want but if they want to do this adult thing they also have to behave like adults and show respect and communicate. Otherwise, it's not just about having freedom and being released from puritanical values etc etc, it's actually just selfishness. If sex involves someone else, and especially if multiple people are actually involved over a period of time, less selfishness is needed for for it to work and not cause damage.

I suspect that most who've had multiple partners over longer periods of time, would have to say that somewhere along the line someone involved wasn't entirely happy with how things were going. The more people invivpled,mother more scope for hurt, and unless you are going to say you have zero interest in anyone apart from yourself, that can't be good and attempts made to avoid it.

Pissflapflip · 10/05/2020 15:31

No issue with the physical side of it here. Just emotion wise, is one of these men assuming you are exclusively with them?

copycopypaste · 10/05/2020 15:31

I have, I was single and practiced safe sex. If you want go for it.

brentwoodbaby · 10/05/2020 15:31

No I wouldn't but I would have done when I was 18/19 and casually seeing a few people.

Marriage and two kids has changed my view on sex just being sex so for me it wouldn't be a thing I'd do now.

JellyfishandShells · 10/05/2020 15:33

Not my cup of tea and I can't imagine a bloke being too happy double dipping his soldier in an already runny egg

Appalling phrase ( and sentiment ) Like the equally unpleasant ‘sloppy seconds’ Anyone thinking about this in a considered way ( like the OP) is going to be using condoms, for STD protection as much as contraception ( as the OP has confirmed she is doing ) so it doesn’t apply, anyway

Due to some complicated circumstances , I did this once in my long since past youth. Makes me smile now to think about it........

fascinated · 10/05/2020 15:33

What would you do if you got pregnant?

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 10/05/2020 15:34

If I could could find two stunning, fit, young men who expressed an interest in sleeping with me, then .... yeah, absolutely!

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 10/05/2020 15:36

Not my cup of tea and I can't imagine a bloke being too happy double dipping his soldier in an already runny egg.

Well, I wasn't planning on telling either of 'em!

Original poster
ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 15:36

@fascinated between condoms and the pill, I would think I was incredibly unlucky. And then I would have an abortion.

Same as if I got pregnant with only one partner - casual or serious - if I didn’t want another child.

OP posts:
JustTurtlesAllTheWayDown · 10/05/2020 15:36

I've done this before. I don't think it's a big deal. As long as you shower in between and have safe sex, do what you like.
Ignore the judgey people. Hmm

DeeCeeCherry · 10/05/2020 15:36

I wouldn't. I don't even want 2 men to think about, much less expending precious time and energy on having sex with 2 men. If it's your thing go for it why not, I'm sure you know how to keep yourself safe. However I think it's probably best you take a rain check on this one at least for now - if you were sure of yourself and what you want to do, you wouldn't be asking here

Falafellygood · 10/05/2020 15:36

Personally no I wouldn't. However, I also judge someone for doing it as long as it's safe and consensual sex.

Doihavetogotoworkdotcom1 · 10/05/2020 15:36

Very grim

midnightstar66 · 10/05/2020 15:37

Then you need to ask them.

Yes if I was looking for a relationship I'd absolutely ask a person if they were seeing anyone else. I'd opt not to meet them if the answer was yes as I wouldn't want that sort of complication and start if I was meeting people with a view to that. I'd hope that person would be honest and not think it was none of my business