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Original poster

Would you sleep with two different people in the same day?

601 replies

ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 12:53

I don’t mean a threesome.

Purely hypothetical at the moment, but I’m curious to know what people would do.

I only have every other weekend free due to childcare. I have a casual partner, and I’ve been speaking to someone for the past 6 weeks I really want to meet.

When lockdown is lifted (yes, I don’t it’s going to be any time soon hence hypothetical), I would probably see on of them Friday Night and the other Sat night. If I stay over (which I do with my casual), there would be morning sex.

So that’s my question really - would you have morning sex with one person and then have sex with someone else in the evening? I can’t decide if I think it’s fine or a bit weird.

OP posts:
tara66 · 10/05/2020 15:38

Too tiring.

WombatChocolate · 10/05/2020 15:39

Re the conversations about exclusivity, for the many who really don't want to be having sex with someone who is also having sex with someone else, how would you feel to discover the man you went out with once or twice with and then slept with, was also sleeping with someone else? Not great I'd imagine.

But without these conversations, lots of people can end up feeling not great.

Are we saying this is just par for the course, and part of modern relationships/sex is that actually, you have to accept as the norm, feeling a bit shit.....that it's entirely normal and okay to find out a bit down the line, that the man you've had sex with and were just looking forward to seeing again and having sex with again, is having sex with someone else too?

You see, today we talk about sexual freedom and being able to do what we want, but if we do it without any communication or respect, it's actually sexual freedom that comes with making people, feel pretty crap pretty often. And isn't there a way to avoid this?

Surely it must be possible in this day and age for there to be sexual freedom and respect and not hurting people.....and aren't all of those things important and not just the sexual freedom?

opticaldelusion · 10/05/2020 15:40

I wouldn't want to have sex with someone if I wanted to have sex with someone else. But I don't think it's bad to do that if that's what you want.

polkadotpixie · 10/05/2020 15:40

I did once. Went to see my FWB on the Tuesday night (pre-arranged) after a night out. I actually met guy no 2 for the first time that night but didn't go home with him because I'd already arranged to see FWB. Met up with guy no 2 the next night on another night out (I was at uni) and slept with him. Saw him a few more times over the next couple of weeks before it fizzled out

It was fun, safe sex was practiced. No regrets and no fucks given if people think I'm an awful person 😂

MaeveDidIt · 10/05/2020 15:40

I think it's skanky.
But if you want to - go ahead and fill your boots.

Wehttam · 10/05/2020 15:42

A lot of guys do it all the time, multiple times actually if on holiday young etc.

I see no issue just have a good wash and wipe. Plenty of mouthwash too.

Original poster
ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 15:46

@WombatChocolate

Sure, but that conversation cuts both ways. I think if you are looking for something exclusive, you need to put that out to begin with. You can’t just assume it either. If, in the future, I was actively looking for a relationship I would be clear about that. I still don’t think I’d be upset if they were dating several people in the first few weeks though. I would expect that normal - and conversations to come about being exclusive after you feel it going somewhere.

I do talk about this kind of thing with men before meeting them though - what I’m looking for and such. I’ve not been going around telling them I’m looking for a relationship and then planning on sleeping with other people behind their back.

For the record - I literally have no idea if FWB is sleeping with anyone else! We’re not exclusive, but beyond that I don’t really feel the need to ask anything else.

OP posts:
NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 10/05/2020 15:47

Very grim

Well, I guess that I'm very grim. And slutty (now that I've read the thread) Grin

MulticolourMophead · 10/05/2020 15:47

@Dragonembroidery

Saying this is a bit slutty is a misogynistic way of thinking. The term slut is usually used to describe behaviour from a woman that men don't like.

And I mean that kindly.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 10/05/2020 15:47

Oh, and skanky: missed that one Grin

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 10/05/2020 15:48

Blimey, the bloody 1950s would love some of you back!

lilgreen · 10/05/2020 15:49

No I wouldn’t.

StarlightLady · 10/05/2020 15:49

I hate this “sleep with” term. Not a lot of sleeping going on!

I’ve had quality sex with 2 different people on the same day. And l’d do it again!

hopefulhalf · 10/05/2020 15:51

I have done this a verrrry long time ago (possibily on more than one occasion) can't see the issue.

Original poster
ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 15:51

I find it quite amusing that I’ve become a slutty, skanky, grim, ‘runny egg’ for soiling my sacred lock.

Hypothetically, for now Wink

Actually this thread has really helped though. I couldn’t decide if there was something a bit strange about it now, but I think it just that internalised misogyny that’s really hard to shake. I haven’t actually noted a good reason not to do it.

And yes, I didn’t really feel the need to state it, but contraception and washing in between is a given.

OP posts:
Original poster
ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 15:52

@StarlightLady I am planning on sleeping with them too (hence the morning sex) Wink

OP posts:
lilgreen · 10/05/2020 15:53

Considering having sex with someone you haven’t met yet is a bit weird. I take it’s just a sex arrangement and not the start of a relationship.

iseeu · 10/05/2020 15:54

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Rainycloudyday · 10/05/2020 15:54

Honestly no I wouldn’t and I would privately not think much of anyone (male or female!) who would. I would like to think I wouldn’t judge but honestly, I couldn’t help it.

SBLL · 10/05/2020 15:55

I did when I was younger,two in 48 hours Wink

lilgreen · 10/05/2020 15:55

I do think that if the new man knew, he’d take a hike.

SallyWD · 10/05/2020 15:59

I wouldn't but if you want to then go ahead!

Willowmartha1 · 10/05/2020 16:00

Chance would be a fine thing !!

TooMuchBloodyChoice · 10/05/2020 16:02

OP - go for it. Lockdown feels like forever and life is too short not to enjoy yourself. In fact have a bloody good time!

What has surprised me most isn’t the derogatory comments towards the OP, but the posters who use male platitudes to voice their disgust. Who gives a flying fuck what men would think (and say) about a woman’s casual sex life? Ironic, given that men would get more of a pass in the OP’s situation. All the nonsense of dodgy locks and stirred porridge. To those women - we shouldn’t live by the standards set by men. If you are, that’s not healthy. If the OP wants to fuck half of England that’s her choice. If you don’t like it, then say so, confirming that it’s your view.

But using horrible expressions about what men think is just ridiculous- this is 2020 and we aren’t virginal possessions of men.

walks off muttering about the ridiculousness of it all

BluebellForest836 · 10/05/2020 16:13

Yes if I was looking for a relationship I'd absolutely ask a person if they were seeing anyone else. I'd opt not to meet them if the answer was yes as I wouldn't want that sort of complication and start if I was meeting people with a view to that.

Asking someone if they are are seeing others is fine but seeing someone and just having a Casual FWB relationship with someone is completely different.
So if someone asked me was I seeing anyone I’d state no.