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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you sleep with two different people in the same day?

601 replies

ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 12:53

I don’t mean a threesome.

Purely hypothetical at the moment, but I’m curious to know what people would do.

I only have every other weekend free due to childcare. I have a casual partner, and I’ve been speaking to someone for the past 6 weeks I really want to meet.

When lockdown is lifted (yes, I don’t it’s going to be any time soon hence hypothetical), I would probably see on of them Friday Night and the other Sat night. If I stay over (which I do with my casual), there would be morning sex.

So that’s my question really - would you have morning sex with one person and then have sex with someone else in the evening? I can’t decide if I think it’s fine or a bit weird.

OP posts:
Eesha · 10/05/2020 13:57

@SeperatedSwans love what you wrote!!!

MarieQueenofScots · 10/05/2020 13:57

SeparatedSwans

Wonderful post

Boomclaps · 10/05/2020 13:57

Go for it if you want. Have a bath, use protection have fun. Xxx

SneakersandSocks · 10/05/2020 13:57

Me personally, no.

But you’re not doing anything wrong and if you are safe and ok with it , do it!

catandcandle · 10/05/2020 13:58

NC for this. I did this on a number of occasions in my youth (quite a long time ago now!). May even have been more than two...Can't see why it is a problem unless your hygiene is questionable...

If I hadn't been up for it, I would not now be with DH (to whom I have been married for fifteen years).

I was on holiday in a place where I had a FWB. Spent New Years Eve with FWB, up all night, sex in the morning, then he went home for a sleep.

FWB was supposed to meet me for lunch but called off with a hangover. I was bored so took myself out to lunch then went to a friend's house. There I met a friend of her husband's. Fancied him so flirted and that night we got a hotel room together (we were both from out of town)…

jackstini · 10/05/2020 13:59

Your body, your choice

As long as consenting adults and no one thinks they're exclusive I don't see an issue

Are you using condoms? If not am pondering how long sperm stays up there and whether the first partner's would still be up there when second partner went in... (unless you are douching in the shower?!)

PotteringAlong · 10/05/2020 13:59

No

TheseBootsAreMadeForStalking · 10/05/2020 14:00

My scale would be:

  • "I had sex with someone and then met and had sex with you a few days later and that was it for me" = fine, you're not psychic
  • "I was seeing you and someone else while we were first casually dating and sleeping with both of you for a few weeks but several days apart" = probably not ok with this but I would have been pretty clear about exclusive sex upfront. If there had been a misunderstanding on that front but the other had been broken of fairly quickly I could possibly deal with it.
  • "I repeatedly had sex with someone on the same day I was sleeping with you over a period of weeks or months" = fuck off immediately you disrespectful bastard!

But then I've never been OK with what I see as the very American thing of dating multiple people at a time so I'm possibly a bit old fashioned anyway by today's standards!

ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 14:01

I’m not offended if people think it’s a bit odd - I have thought it is too hence this thread. But it does feel quite exciting too.

I do take issue with me being a mum somehow makes it worse. I really can’t see why having a child, and what I do in my personal time away from him, makes any difference to the question. It’s not like he will be here or in anyway affected by it.

Yes to contraception by the way - on the pill and always use condoms.

OP posts:
Needhelp101 · 10/05/2020 14:02

"I'm laughing at the pearl clutches and those that think us mum's can't have multiple sex partners, or don't respect our fanny!

I love my body, I respect it massively, and if anything I'm in control of everything.

I choose who to invite over, when to invite them over (when DS is elsewhere) and the terms of the arrangement I'm in charge.

I'm in a very powerful position, I love it, and sexual experiences with other consenting adults is great for my mental health and physical health done safely.

Women have sex, we have sex with more than one man our entire lives. Get over it."
^
This.

BluebellForest836 · 10/05/2020 14:02

Not my cup of tea and I can't imagine a bloke being too happy double dipping his soldier in an already runny egg

You will be surprised about how many men actually love it.

@ElderflowerPotion - well ... I woke up and took my kids to school

Bloke 1) casual partner, met first thing in the morning after the school run for a couple of hours and we showered together before I left so I was nice and clean Wink

Bloke 2) Another casual partner (I know, I know.. how grimGrin)
I hadn’t seen him in a while and he sent a message when I was on my way home asking what I was up to so I ended up stopping at his on my way home.

I had a day off work so the whole day to myself and my ex was collecting our kids as it was his overnight.

Bloke 3) Was actually a date! So I showered again and got all pretty to go out for some drinks. I really fancied him and the drinks went straight to my head and I went back to his.

It was a good day and I slept well the next night Grin

I used protection with all 3.

Boomclaps · 10/05/2020 14:03

@SeperatedSwans 🙌👏 👑

I'm laughing at the pearl clutches and those that think us mum's can't have multiple sex partners, or don't respect our fanny!

I love my body, I respect it massively, and if anything I'm in control of everything.

I choose who to invite over, when to invite them over (when DS is elsewhere) and the terms of the arrangement I'm in charge.

I'm in a very powerful position, I love it, and sexual experiences with other consenting adults is great for my mental health and physical health done safely.

Women have sex, we have sex with more than one man our entire lives. Get over it.

AMEN SISTA!!!

I’m only having sex with my long term partner because he’s the only one I WANT to have sex with.
Because that’s the whole point. We can literally do whatever Or WHOEVER the fucking hell we want.

No runny yolks (or whatever that weird analogy was meant to be)
No grimness for whoever said it.

Just empowerment to have fun and enjoy sex no matter if you’ve got a new partner every night of the week or you’ve have the same one two decades

Needhelp101 · 10/05/2020 14:04

And of course condoms Hmm

Smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 10/05/2020 14:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CoolCarrie · 10/05/2020 14:05

Life is short and as long as it’s consensual and safe, then go for it. Don’t worry about the moral high ground crowd on here. Have fun

moveandmove · 10/05/2020 14:06

I think it's grim. I'd be horrified if I slept with someone who had slept with another woman in the previous 24 hours.
Wouldn't the first man's juices still be inside you? Yuck Envy

IncrediblySadToo · 10/05/2020 14:06

I have.

I still would in certain circumstances, such as casual with both, not exclusive.

However in your situation, if I hoped it might 'go somewhere' with the new bloke, I'd probably not see Casual that weekend Or if the sex is that great, see him, but not have sex with new bloke.

But only because I'd want the start of something' with new bloke to be a clean start with no crossover' -to be excited & anticipating our 'date' rather than shagging FBW earlier on. But if I had just met him unexpectedly & wanted to have sex with him, having shagged FWB in the morning wouldn't stop me

MarieQueenofScots · 10/05/2020 14:06

Wouldn't the first man's juices still be inside you

Condoms.

Boomclaps · 10/05/2020 14:08

@ElderflowerPotion

i do take issue with me being a mum somehow makes it worse. I really can’t see why having a child, and what I do in my personal time away from him, makes any difference to the question. It’s not like he will be here or in anyway affected by it.

You should take issue the people who are inferring that just because you had a child thAt you can’t have lots of sex are bonkers.

Your child isn’t relevant in a discussion about who you want to sleep with

Boomclaps · 10/05/2020 14:10

moveandmove
“Juices?” Are you twelve? Have you used a condom?

Ilets · 10/05/2020 14:14

With condoms, fine (wash really well though as they make your fanny smell weird)

I wouldn't if the second guy was important to me. I'd be less aroused by then, my orgasms get less strong after a few good sex sessions. I'd save the best for whoever I liked most and organise my day that way.

SeperatedSwans · 10/05/2020 14:17

Do many of the pearl clutches on here think the man they are with hasn't slept with two women at the same time (not threesome) or same day? 🤔🤣

Also what's this thing about numbers?! If a man asked me how many men have you slept with I'd have to answer "I dunno, I don't keep count!"

It's not about the number it's about having a good old consensually safe time 🤷🏻‍♀️

merryhouse · 10/05/2020 14:17

All you people saying no - and especially the people saying ew that's grim how could you - would you sleep with two different people in the same week? the same month? the same year? the same decade? the same lifetime?

If you have ever had sex with someone you didn't intend to have a long-term exclusive relationship with, you are in no position to pronounce moral judgement on this situation.

.... those of us who haven't probably don't have the slightest intention of passing moral judgement on the OP (only on the hypocrites)

GilbertMarkham · 10/05/2020 14:17

There is a common phrase amongst men that a lock that can be opened by many different keys is a crap lock...

And the other part of that saying is that "a key that can open many locks is a great key"

Do I think it's obvious just what outlook and motivation the person who coined that saying (and those who repeat it) have.

Anyway, a lock is a lock and a vagina is a vagina .... It doesn't really work as an analogy. Particularly after we started getting more opportunities to earn our own money and don't have to trade chastity for it.

BluebellForest836 · 10/05/2020 14:18

@Smilethoyourheartisbreaking - it was a good day. Sometimes I love working part time. Sex wins over housework every time!