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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you sleep with two different people in the same day?

601 replies

ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 12:53

I don’t mean a threesome.

Purely hypothetical at the moment, but I’m curious to know what people would do.

I only have every other weekend free due to childcare. I have a casual partner, and I’ve been speaking to someone for the past 6 weeks I really want to meet.

When lockdown is lifted (yes, I don’t it’s going to be any time soon hence hypothetical), I would probably see on of them Friday Night and the other Sat night. If I stay over (which I do with my casual), there would be morning sex.

So that’s my question really - would you have morning sex with one person and then have sex with someone else in the evening? I can’t decide if I think it’s fine or a bit weird.

OP posts:
Smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 11/05/2020 11:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElderflowerPotion · 11/05/2020 11:03

I wonder if having a committed partner and an open relationship is slapper mentality too. Or a threesome? That must also make women a slapper.

Are men too?

OP posts:
Electromagneticpulse · 11/05/2020 11:06

So Man2 gives you oral and licks/eats Man1's sperm?

mmm cannot see him being ok with that somehow!

Smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 11/05/2020 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElderflowerPotion · 11/05/2020 11:07

@Electromagneticpulse - Again, try condoms! You’d be surprised how well they work! Smile

OP posts:
Closetbeanmuncher · 11/05/2020 11:09

Condom's and the pill don't protect against herpes, genital warts and crabs.

It's a no from me.

HotSince82 · 11/05/2020 11:11

Go for it OP.
As a bonus it will make it really easy to compare their performance and see which one you like better.

Opaljewel · 11/05/2020 11:12

Lol at some of the replies on here. Go for it op!!

MarieQueenofScots · 11/05/2020 11:12

So Man2 gives you oral and licks/eats Man1's sperm?

Someone should really invent a product that keeps the semen in. I’m thinking some sort of sheath device.

It will make millions!

Sugarpea123 · 11/05/2020 11:13

No I think that's repulsive.

MarieQueenofScots · 11/05/2020 11:14

Just for previous posters, the equation of sexual activity with someone’s worth as a person is a sure fire sign you’re not very clever.

EastMidsMumOf1 · 11/05/2020 11:14

Some of the comments on here are bloody hilarious in a "not funny haha" but almost unbelievable way.
@Electromagneticpulse what on earth gives you the right to call a woman a slapper? Its consensual sex between adults. Condoms work a treat for starters and not to be crude but who performs oral (unprotected) on a person they arent exclusive with? That's just irresponsible of the man tbh and if he were to do that then more fool him. Regardless of how many men shes slept with in the same 24 hours, alot of STIs can be passed through oral sex.

Also to the PPs saying OP should declare shes sleeping with another man. Why? What has it got to do with any of them? Shall she bring her CV, DBS and 2 character references too so the men can "make their own informed choice". Bollocks.

eaglejulesk · 11/05/2020 11:19

wow, you're getting some very over opinionated people replying to this, think they're forgetting it's YOUR life and your decision what you do when you have some time to yourself.

Well she did ask for opinions, that's what she's getting.

And no, it's not something I would ever do.

wishfuldreamer · 11/05/2020 11:19

@Electromagneticpulse - guess that makes me a Slapper and Proud then :D

Ifonlywecouldwishuponastar · 11/05/2020 11:39

Wouldn't have the mental energy. But if you do as someone said crack on Wink

SleepingStandingUp · 11/05/2020 11:43

But sex is more than a quick fuck with no strings attached
You're confusing sex with making sweet and tender love

OP do what makes you feel happy, just be safe

sammylady37 · 11/05/2020 11:43

Part of me feels sorry for those women who view sex as repulsive, dirty, ‘yuck’ etc, and who feel it’s something they should restrict and limit so as not to be ‘yuck’ and not to feel repulsed by themselves. They really are missing out on some fun, joyous experiences. But then, when I see Joe judgemental they are, and how they castigate others for what they choose to do with their bodies, it’s hard feel sorry for them. Whatever happened to ‘each to their own’ or ‘live and let live’, eh? If you don’t want to have multiple sexual partners, then don’t. No one is forcing you to. But there’s no need whatsoever to call those that do ‘slappers’ or sluts. That’s just horribly misogynistic.

SleepingStandingUp · 11/05/2020 11:45

So Man2 gives you oral and licks/eats Man1's sperm?
"Hey Deidre, you taste extra spermy today! Did he eat asparagus for dinner?"

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 11/05/2020 11:46

Its consensual sex between adults. Condoms work a treat for starters and not to be crude but who performs oral (unprotected) on a person they arent exclusive with

Oh, I wonder if everyone else agrees with this?

Seems like there's a good number of unwritten rules that people assume others know, yet there's not a consensus. Guess you can't really assume anything then.

Would people really not care if the bloke they hook up with has got an sti but doesn't tell them?

zonkin · 11/05/2020 12:09

I'm with those that say to go for it. It's sex. It's fun. It's pleasurable. Enjoy!

sammylady37 · 11/05/2020 12:16

Where is the red herring of not telling a sexual partner you’ve an STI coming from? That’s not what the OP asked at all and she never suggested she would do that, or approve of that.

People will no doubt say that if she’s sleeping with multiple partners she’s at increased risk and thus so are all her partners but the reality is that any person engaging in sexual activity with another is taking a risk of contracting an STI. You can lessen the risk but not eliminate it.

dazzlinghaze · 11/05/2020 12:18

Some of the replies on this thread are honestly wild. Can't believe how many people don't understand that sex is a totally personal thing and means different things to different people. I personally enjoy sex with a partner I'm monogamous with because I find it gets better the more you know each other's bodies and I think the emotional connection really adds to the experience. However, I totally understand that others could get off more on the excitement of being with new partners or the idea of it being free of the responsibilities of a relationship and it being all about the pleasure. Just like how some people like rough sex and others like it soft and gentle, every person has different preferences when it comes to sex! And those preferences can change over time which is also normal and totally okay!

It's really sad and disappointing to see how many people on this thread still think that a woman enjoying sex and enjoying her body just for the pleasure of it means she must have some underlying psychological issues. The OP sounds as if she has her head screwed on and is enjoying her life. There's nothing disgusting or 'wrong' about safe, consensual sex between adults. Being sexually monogamous does not equal a higher level of virtue!

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 11/05/2020 13:30

dazzlinghaze

But if you come into a public forum to ask for opinions on your sex life you can't really be surprised when you get opinions can you?

And if you know what you want and are happy with your choice then why do you need to seek validation from strangers?

I know what my choices are, I'm happy with them and comfortable with them - I don't care what others think about them and so I don't ask for their opinion.

And people keep saying it's consensual - but is it? If I was going to have sex with someone and they didn't tell me a fundamental aspect that might have changed my mind I don't think I would consider it consensual. That for me is where the undisclosed STI comes in - some posters are saying that you don't owe it to a partner to tell them anything about your sex life, eg how many other partners you are currently sleeping with, when etc so does that also include disclosing stis or are they an exception?

rayoflightboy · 11/05/2020 13:35

@Electromagneticpulse wow tell us what you really think.

MarieQueenofScots · 11/05/2020 13:39

That for me is where the undisclosed STI comes in - some posters are saying that you don't owe it to a partner to tell them anything about your sex life, eg how many other partners you are currently sleeping with, when etc so does that also include disclosing stis or are they an exception?

I wouldn't be fucking someone if I had an STD/outbreak of one. I have never had one so I don't need to disclose anything other than "we're not exclusive".

My partners are consenting to non-exclusive sex. Any risk is therefore theirs, I've done my part in telling them they're not exclusive. It is always 100% acceptable for them to decide the situation isn't for them with no hard feelings. However other than furnishing them with facts, I am not responsible for their health or feelings.