Would you sleep with two different people in the same day?

[ElderflowerPotion]

I don’t mean a threesome.

Purely hypothetical at the moment, but I’m curious to know what people would do.

I only have every other weekend free due to childcare. I have a casual partner, and I’ve been speaking to someone for the past 6 weeks I really want to meet.

When lockdown is lifted (yes, I don’t it’s going to be any time soon hence hypothetical), I would probably see on of them Friday Night and the other Sat night. If I stay over (which I do with my casual), there would be morning sex.

So that’s my question really - would you have morning sex with one person and then have sex with someone else in the evening? I can’t decide if I think it’s fine or a bit weird.

Fuck me I almost posted that on the Betty Crocker thread by mistake.

@ElderflowerPotion - Just go for it. Imagine the disappointment you would feel if you turned down Mr casual for Mr new and Mr new was shit 😂

@WorraLiberty
I don't know you from Adam so I could be way off but I have a feeling all this is some sort of...I don't know 'defence mechanism'.

Yeah, I think you’re way off. And your Pop Psychology Meter™️ is broken. Maybe too many fallen women narratives on Lifetime Movie specials or Hallmark Channel Movies or something.

@Deviantslagheap
Fuck me I almost posted that on the Betty Crocker thread by mistake.

😂😂😂

I did it A couple of times when younger, both times one ‘night’ stands, felt like a prostitution after both times. Wasn’t a good feeling. A reality check if ever one was needed!

Yeah, I think you’re way off. And your Pop Psychology Meter™️ is broken. Maybe too many fallen women narratives on Lifetime Movie specials or Hallmark Channel Movies or something.

Yes or maybe I'm right and you're wrong? Who knows.

Only the OP will know that deep down.

Go for it OP.
Defo double up on contraception though.

Yes, I have. Yes, they both knew. No, I’m not ashamed. Have an awesome time, OP.

I wouldn't, just because I don't like the idea of if. I think it would make me feel a bit shit. I've never really had casual relationships though, but I wouldn't judge a friend/anyone else for doing it under the same circumstances. Each to their own as long as it's safe and not hurting anyone.

I dont see a problem with it, though i’d rather not be told mid coitus that my partner was feeling a little tender as she’d been roggered senseless that morning!

And as far as the guy is concerned its up to him to set his boundaries.
When I was just looking for casual I was clear I wasn’t interested in an fwb, just an occasional fb or even just a ons.

When I wanted a relationship, if it looked like it was going that way, I was clear there’d be no shagging unless we were exclusive as i wasnt sleeping with someone who was sleeping with someone else.

Enjoy it while you can, I would as long as the people concerned knew they were not your exclusive and you practiced safe sex.

Do people really have to ask prospective partners now if they've shagged anyone else that day? Is that really what it's like now? I feel so old.

Pleasure for pleasures sake can be one of the most liberating things ever. Your body, your choice. You are grown enough to know what you want and need emotionally and physically. Grab it with both hands 😉🤭. Be safe, have fun 🙃😉.

I’m so jealous of your hypothetical energy. Good luck to you.

Yes!!!

Yes! Enjoy!

Have done, in my youth. I enjoyed my shagging around years - sensible with contraception + luck so STDs and pregnancy never an issue. The assumption that you’d have deep seated psychological issues to do this is as rude as it is absurd. I just wish I had the energy for it now!

Yes, not sure why you would ask.
Haters gotta hate.
The rest of us live in the 21st century

Personally, no I wouldn't because I'm not into casual sex but for those who are I don't see an issue! Your FWB knows the score so there's no problem in that sense either. So if the mood strikes go for it and have fun!

If I was on double contraception I can't imagine I'd have the libido 🥴

Yup, done it, a long time ago, had a lot of fun, enjoy yourself!

What do your real life friends say OP?

It concerns me to be truthful. I find myself wondering why you would want to do this; what has happened to you in life to make you want to use other people like that without their knowledge.

I know you have a no-strings-attached kind of arrangement; it's just a fuck; there's no commitment or obligation; I get that. But sex is more than a quick fuck with no strings attached. There's a psychological aspect to it that isn't always felt or recognised, and it would concern me, what's going on beneath the surface for you, that you would do this to yourself.

I think there's a good reason you wouldn't want your friends, your family, your work colleagues, or even the two people involved, to know about this. I'm not trying to shame you here but I think you would feel ashamed if you told them. I really think it would be a good idea to explore what's going on for you with a reputable psychotherapist who specialises in sex.

Of course, you will always get people who think this is fine and who egg you on, even telling you they've done that themselves, and even better (locker room talk!). It's a bit like porn. Some say it's destructive to the women (and men) who are involved and others say nonsense; it's their choice and so is perfectly fine. When you peel back the layers though, it's like taking drugs. There is a trail of brokenness that accompanies the lives of people involved in these things, but they're hidden away and sometimes not recognised - even by the person involved in it.

So I would say; judgements aside, are you okay OP? I mean really okay. Do you have good self esteem or have things happened to you to make you damaged in any way at all when it comes to sex and relationships, or just your confidence and self respect generally? You deserve much better, and I wonder if you know that.

Wow @SummerAgain, that is some epic judgement and shaming, I’m not sure I’ve seen the likes of it before. Trying to couch your judgement as ‘concern’ and insinuate that the OP is damaged in some way. When really it’s all about your opinion that sex is more than a quick fuck with no strings attached. There's a psychological aspect to it that isn't always felt or recognised, which is entirely subjective, not fact. For some (many?) people sex is just sex, a fuck, a pleasurable, intense interaction with someone else, and not a sacred meeting of minds, souls and bodies that needs to be rationed and limited. It doesn’t always need to be deep and meaningful.

And as for the ‘would you be ashamed if your family, friends, colleagues, knew?’- again, some horrible shaming there. Firstly, very few people discuss their sex lives with their colleagues etc, but plenty would discuss with friends and some family members. I would imagine that any reluctance to discuss with them would come from fear of judgement by people who can’t understand a woman who has a different attitude to sex than them. Oh, and when I go into work today I’m not going to tell my colleagues that I didn’t get up til after 3pm yesterday even though it was a lovely day out, I was cosy and comfy in bed and was happily browsing the net and reading my book. Some of them would judge me for being lazy if they knew that, others would envy me having the freedom. But not wanting them to know and judge doesn’t mean I have deep-rooted issues.

I’m one of those who has indulged in what you call ‘locker room talk’ on this thread. I stand by everything I’ve said. There has been no bravado or exaggeration. Sex can be a lot of things to me. It is different with a casual partner than it is with someone I love. But neither of those scenarios are wrong, or to be restricted. Both have benefits and both have potential consequences. It’s up to me to choose which I engage in.

I await your psychoanalysis telling me I’m damaged, have issues and need specialized counseling though.

Do you have good self esteem or have things happened to you to make you damaged in any way at all when it comes to sex and relationships, or just your confidence and self respect generally? You deserve much better, and I wonder if you know that

Good god. I know this was probably well meant but women who enjoy sex outside of serious relationships don't all do it because they have low self esteem or ishoos.

Maybe just maybe some of us just enjoy sex and prefer to do it on our own terms with partners who respect that.
And I don't always share details of my sex life with everyone in my life.
Firstly because its oversharing and I doubt everyone wants to hear it, but mostly because people can get fucking judgey.
I can't be bothered with anyone deciding to pity me because they think I'm somehow damaged because I have a perfectly consensual and satisfying sex life.

I obviously work somewhere with a somewhat libertine approach to these matters. I definitely talk about this kind of thing with (some) work colleagues. And the stories I hear! This is on the very mild end of things. Noone would raise an eyebrow.