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Original poster

Would you sleep with two different people in the same day?

601 replies

ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 12:53

I don’t mean a threesome.

Purely hypothetical at the moment, but I’m curious to know what people would do.

I only have every other weekend free due to childcare. I have a casual partner, and I’ve been speaking to someone for the past 6 weeks I really want to meet.

When lockdown is lifted (yes, I don’t it’s going to be any time soon hence hypothetical), I would probably see on of them Friday Night and the other Sat night. If I stay over (which I do with my casual), there would be morning sex.

So that’s my question really - would you have morning sex with one person and then have sex with someone else in the evening? I can’t decide if I think it’s fine or a bit weird.

OP posts:
Original poster
ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 19:03

@Bluntness100 - don’t worry, it really is hypothetical right now! We’ve FaceTimed a good few times now, but I won’t know how it would play out until we actually have the first date.

I suppose my main thought at the moment is that I would be planning to see FWB one day, go on the first date with new guy on the next. If I am as attracted to him in person then I have no concerns having sex on a first date.

OP posts:
Ilets · 10/05/2020 19:17
Grin

Thought I'd just throw that fun biological fact in

Swingingontheswing · 10/05/2020 19:21

@Wombatchocolate Your points are so well thought out and clearly written. I agree wholeheartedly with your post especially I worry about that sense the other person is owed nothing at all - no information, no concern for what they want from the situation, but they are purely a physical vessel, and that the person is happy to have sex and walk away with zero interest in the impact on them or sense of having any responsibility towards them at all ....that the responsibility for that other person lies solely with them, even though sex is an act with 2 people.

TheSheepofWallSt · 10/05/2020 19:25

Sometimes sex is just sex you know. Two consenting adults can do whatever the fuck they want IMO- and no, you don’t owe it to either guy to tell them anything, if you’re STI free and using barrier protection.

If you’re not using condoms, you should tell them the score.

I definitely used to do this in my 20s, and never felt a twinge of anxiety about it. Never got hurt, never hurt anyone else, never caught an STI, or fell pregnant accidentally or had anything except a bloody good time.

With my ex however, in a monogamous relationship... that’s when it went tits. Confused

Cynara · 10/05/2020 19:34

You should reframe this as a matter of your body being yours alone, and your emotionsl involvement being a separate issue. I see no problem at all with doing this: as you say, why pass up good sex with FWB only to be disappointed the day after with Date Guy? I did exactly what you propose and had a very happy 5 year relationship with "Date Guy". What happened before him was none of his business but also (and I loved him very much) had no bearing on the feelings I developed for him and the depth of our relationship.

sammylady37 · 10/05/2020 19:37

And how many people involved in this kind of sex for an extended period (with several partners) is never ever hurt or can say with certainty that someone else can’t been hurt ever?

I’ve never been hurt by a casual sexual partner, and have never knowingly hurt them, nor have any of them ever said I’d hurt them or given me any indication they’ve been hurt.

The person who did hurt me though, was a person with whom I was in a committed relationship. Go figure.

IPityThePontipines · 10/05/2020 20:16

I recommend reading some good feminist books sisters.

Actually, some feminists have a lot to say about "sex-postive", "shaming is bad" sex culture and the pressure to be "up for it" and have no boundaries being just as harmful as other misogynist attitudes. We live in the era of the Cool Girl after all.

It's telling that someone upthread was helping her FWB find Tinder dates and not the other way around. Still doing the "helpful woman" role.

Wombat Chocolate makes a lot of sense. Too often no strings = no communication and it causes a lot of heartbreak and distress.

MarieQueenofScots · 10/05/2020 20:52

Too often no strings = no communication and it causes a lot of heartbreak and distress

That’s a fair point and clear communication is always key. FWB are particularly useful for that for me, I can deal with the expectations via the “friends” bit leaving truly no strings benefits.

user1471565182 · 10/05/2020 21:09

i just dont really understamd why though?

If I found out somebody I went on a date did this I just wouldnt bother again for a much simpler life to be honest

user1471565182 · 10/05/2020 21:12

I certainly agree with you there, IPityThePontipines, This 'sex positive' stuff isnt going in a good direction imo. Its a lot like the pressure magazines put on women to have 'Great Sex' (hate that phrase)

babbez · 10/05/2020 21:24

I don’t get your way of thinking either. Who realistically asks people when was the last time you had sex before a first date?

No one. It’s a first date, a casual drink to see if you're actually even attracted to them or have anything in common when sitting face to face. You might think they are as boring as dish water.*

Maybe you don't mind being fourth shag of the day, that's your choice. I didn't even say anything controversial- i have a casual sex partner and am a single mum too.

But if he was sleeping with other people I'd want to know so I can make an informed choice on whether or not I want to proceed!

Sexual history is different- it's in the past. What you did a few hours ago is my business. If you're not ashamed of it, why not be honest? Why deceive the other person? That's all.

Stay safe, clean and honest. If all criteria are met, go for it. How can you disagree with that?

midnightstar66 · 10/05/2020 21:30

Sexual history is different- it's in the past. What you did a few hours ago is my business. If you're not ashamed of it, why not be honest? Why deceive the other person? That's all.

Absolutely was what I was trying to say. I'd chose not to sleep with someone who was doing so with someone else hours before or after so I'd like the knowledge to have that choice

Daisy12Maisie · 10/05/2020 21:43

Yes I would in your situation

missmouse101 · 10/05/2020 21:46

Yuk no. All those genitals. Confused

AvalancheKit · 10/05/2020 21:49

You should go in Just Giving OP then we could all sponsor you. Why stop at 2?

Yellowsubmarinedreams · 10/05/2020 21:49

As others have said, be safe and go for it! Your body your rules!

Lynda07 · 10/05/2020 22:01

Sexual history is different- it's in the past.
Yes.

OMGISeeTheWayYouShine · 10/05/2020 22:22

Yuck no 🤮

WorraLiberty · 10/05/2020 22:23

I just don’t want the details of my partner’s other sex life. I’m not interested. Is that weird in some way? That I know he’s having sex with other people is fine. I’m not interested in knowing the when, how or other details. Why should I care?

I think you do though and I've thought that all the way through this thread.

I don't know you from Adam so I could be way off but I have a feeling all this is some sort of...I don't know 'defence mechanism'. Scratch the surface and I'll be there's more to this than just a love of sex and being a feminist.

I'm not for a minute saying that would be the same for anyone happily having sex with two people in the same day, but just reading your posts and the fact you started this thread at all, it's how you're coming across (to me anyway).

Just look after yourself physically and emotionally.

daisydaisydoodle · 10/05/2020 22:26

Women need to put their health before sexual desires. Some info below
Several factors related to your sexual history can increase the risk of cervical cancer. The risk is most likely affected by increasing the chances of exposure to HPV.
Becoming sexually active at a young age (especially younger than 18 years old)
Having many sexual partners
Having one partner who is considered high risk (someone with HPV infection or who has many sexual partners

BluebellForest836 · 10/05/2020 22:29

What you did a few hours ago is my business

But it’s not your business... It’s Mine, I don’t need to explain what I did with my day or week or month before and if I was to go on a first date where sex hasn’t even been brought up before in convo but it happens in the moment then it happens. I don’t need to tell anyone my sexual history on a first date. It’s bizarre that you think I do.
All first Dates I go on are aware that I’m just going with the flow and happy to see what happens long term.

If I was meeting up just for sex and the person asks then I’d tell them as it’s just sex from the beginning and they have no need to be upset who I have casual sex with.

Until exclusivity is spoken about then it’s my business

JingsMahBucket · 10/05/2020 22:36

@BluebellForest836
It’s a first date, a casual drink to see if you're actually even attracted to them or have anything in common when sitting face to face.

I initially misread that as “have anything in common when sitting on their face”. 😂 Very apt for this thread!

@ElderflowerPotion I love how so many certain posters are still trying so hard to convince you to fall in line with their purity thinking. “But what about .... and what about... but what about when the gremlins pop out of your vag to warn the second guy you’ve been a skank and already slept with someone that day??? What will you do then, huh?!?”

The answer is take a shower and wash the snitching gremlins out. Duh. 🙄😏

Swingingontheswing · 10/05/2020 22:40

It’s a first date, a casual drink to see if you're actually even attracted to them or have anything in common when sitting face to face.

It isn’t. The OP stated she intends to have sex, that is why she started the thread.

BluebellForest836 · 10/05/2020 22:40

@JingsMahBucket - haha, the only thing you need to know in that moment is that they have good tongue action 😂

BUT... apparently only if you have already informed them about the gremlins that invaded your sacred space hours before 😂

Deviantslagheap · 10/05/2020 22:41

I had what I fondly think of as a "four day weekend" at university once Grin Everyone got out in one piece.

I wouldn't do it again now but not for any moral reason purely because I'm much more paranoid about STDs like warts/herpes than I was back then and the chaps, while all lovely, were all putting it about a bit too.

If you're all clean and consenting do what makes you happy OP!