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Original poster

Would you sleep with two different people in the same day?

601 replies

ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 12:53

I don’t mean a threesome.

Purely hypothetical at the moment, but I’m curious to know what people would do.

I only have every other weekend free due to childcare. I have a casual partner, and I’ve been speaking to someone for the past 6 weeks I really want to meet.

When lockdown is lifted (yes, I don’t it’s going to be any time soon hence hypothetical), I would probably see on of them Friday Night and the other Sat night. If I stay over (which I do with my casual), there would be morning sex.

So that’s my question really - would you have morning sex with one person and then have sex with someone else in the evening? I can’t decide if I think it’s fine or a bit weird.

OP posts:
Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 10/05/2020 18:40

So op, would you not be bothered if it turned out you were say the third woman man number 2 had shagged that day?

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 10/05/2020 18:41

Smilethoyourheartisbreaking

Nothing to do with feminism, more to do with respecting your partner's sexual health.

daisydaisydoodle · 10/05/2020 18:42

I wouldn't. It wouldn't make me feel good and the more sexual partners you have ( even using contraception) the higher your risk of cervical cancer. I had a a dodgy smear last year and it really scared me.

workshy44 · 10/05/2020 18:42

No, yuck !

MarieQueenofScots · 10/05/2020 18:43

Nothing to do with feminism, more to do with respecting your partner's sexual health

Indeed. Which is why it’s their choice to proceed with all the facts.

Although I very much disagree it’s nothing to do with feminism. Female sexuality is very much still tied up in misogynistic thinking.

BluebellForest836 · 10/05/2020 18:43

*Sorry, but I don't get this. Of course these men should know if your planning on having sex with someone else. Does nobody think about sexual health! I wouldn't want to be with a guy who just rawed someone else a few hours ago (even with a condom, of be put off)

Not shaming, nothing against casual sex.

Just make sure everyone is aware, we're all being hygienic and safe etc. If it was a man we'd all be screaming this.*

I don’t get your way of thinking either. Who realistically asks people when was the last time you had sex before a first date?

No one. It’s a first date, a casual drink to see if you're actually even attracted to them or have anything in common when sitting face to face. You might think they are as boring as dish water.

Besides the above, yes I take my sexual health seriously and even if I just got ‘rawed’.. I would wear a condom and I wash very frequentlyGrin. I also have a sti check up every 3 monthsGrin

allthingsred · 10/05/2020 18:47

I have done in my younger years.
I was free & single so were the men I was with. We had fun no harm done.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 10/05/2020 18:48

Which is why it’s their choice to proceed with all the facts.

But op said that she isn't going to tell him. Apparently telling him they're casual means he'll realise that means she's shagged someone else earlier in the day. So, he isn't proceeding with all the facts.

Original poster
ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 18:48

Just to wrap up a bit here as it does feel like it’s moved to the problem being ‘multiple partners’ rather than ‘same day’:

This is hypothetical at the moment. I don’t know what the situation will be post lockdown with either of them or myself.
Condoms, contraceptive pill, showering in between, brushing teeth, changing bed linen if they are both round mine, all accounted for.
Both aware it’s casual and non-exclusive. No more details provided, but if they ask, I would tell them I am sleeping with someone else. The when is not important.
All consensual. All happy.

I like new guy on FaceTime and if I like him in person, would like to see him too. They both have very different characters, interests, looks and qualities. As long as everyone knows the score then no harm. I was only concerned about the morning sex with one, evening sex with the other. But actually, after reading this I can’t see the difference between that, and seeing them across the week (other than perhaps being quite tired).

OP posts:
FannyFernackerpan · 10/05/2020 18:51

Back in the day I had three blokes on the go, and definitely shagged two of the three in one day, and I think spent the night after with the third one, but can't be certain of that. But certainly I was having sex with all three of them within a day or so of each other.

Looking back, I can't believe I was so irresponsible and promiscuous (!), but at the time it didn't bother me.

I didn't want a long term relationship. I had three different men interested in me and I liked them all. They were all really good in bed. I was having a whale of a time to be honest.

Ironic that now I'm long time single and happy. It's like I used up all my promiscuity and relationships with men, and now I'm just content to grow old on my own.

I look back at that person, and hardly believe it was me but it was. And it wasn't fuelled by drugs or booze or any kind of insecurity. I just had three different relationships with three different me running simultaneously and those three relationships included sex.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 10/05/2020 18:51

Are you not worried that the second man won't realise? I would be mortified to be in the throes for my partner to comment on the rubbery smell and needing to have an awkward conversation in the middle of it.

Original poster
ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 18:51

So op, would you not be bothered if it turned out you were say the third woman man number 2 had shagged that day?

No.

But personally I’d rather not no I was the third that day. Quite happy to hear that he has multiple partners that he sees regularly.

OP posts:
MarieQueenofScots · 10/05/2020 18:52

But op said that she isn't going to tell him. Apparently telling him they're casual means he'll realise that means she's shagged someone else earlier in the day. So, he isn't proceeding with all the facts

Thank goodness chaps have you, eh?

You’re doing men a massive disservice you know.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 10/05/2020 18:52

But personally I’d rather not no I was the third that day.

Why not, if there's nothing wrong with it?

Original poster
ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 18:53

Are you not worried that the second man won't realise? I would be mortified to be in the throes for my partner to comment on the rubbery smell and needing to have an awkward conversation in the middle of it.

Also no. Not worried at all. A good bath would sort that out.

OP posts:
Tappering · 10/05/2020 18:53

Are you not worried that the second man won't realise? I would be mortified to be in the throes for my partner to comment on the rubbery smell and needing to have an awkward conversation in the middle of it.

There's this thing called a shower...

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 10/05/2020 18:54

You’re doing men a massive disservice you know.

In what way?

And it's weird that you said it's fine as long as everyone is proceeding with all the facts.

Original poster
ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 18:54

Why not, if there's nothing wrong with it?

I just don’t want the details of my partner’s other sex life. I’m not interested. Is that weird in some way? That I know he’s having sex with other people is fine. I’m not interested in knowing the when, how or other details. Why should I care?

OP posts:
WombatChocolate · 10/05/2020 18:55

People like to suggest that lots of women are up for sex only encounters - not relationships. This thread suggests that’s with more than one man at a time and that the connection with those men is so little, that being interested in whether they are having sex with others, or the idea they would want to know if woman was having sex with others at same time, just isn’t something anyone is interested in.

Some people might like to suggest everyone involved is some kind of robot just feeding a sexual desire and there is nothing more ...but I still challenge how true this is or for how long it lasts. People are humans and even when one person is up for having sex with multiple partners, o think the chances of both seeing it that way for any length of time is very small. People are not robots purely feeding a sexual craving. Some people like to suggest it’s true and whilst many people might have short term urges that look like that, it’s often short term and not something that satisfies them long term.

I do worry about it as a selfish act - totally about what a person wants and it being purely on their unspoken terms, because they aren’t even willing to lay out those terms. I worry about that sense the other person is owed nothing at all - no information, no concern for what they want from the situation, but they are purely a physical vessel, and that the person is happy to have sex and walk away with zero interest in the impact on them or sense of having any responsibility towards them at all ....that the responsibility for that other person lies solely with them, even though sex is an act with 2 people.

And how many people involved in this kind of sex for an extended period (with several partners) is never ever hurt or can say with certainty that someone else can’t been hurt ever? It does matter and what we do does effect others and we cannot abdicate all responsibility and place it back on them. It’s a dangerous game - and I think those who like to appear ‘hard’ and unemotional about sex and as if they are islands, totally separate and removed from their sexual encounters, know in all honesty that it’s not actually quite as simple as that and there are emotional effects on themselves or the the others, even if they are hardened to some extent.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 10/05/2020 18:55

Also no. Not worried at all. A good bath would sort that out.

Never found that tbh. I could still smell it the next day, even after a bath.

Waitingforboristoletusfree · 10/05/2020 18:57

Absolutely not 🤢 that is vile

Bluntness100 · 10/05/2020 18:57

Op, not read the full thread so don’t know if this has been addressed, but it appears you’ve not even met the second guy, he’s just some on line bloke.

Nothing wrong with sleeping with someone on the first date, or even having sex with two men in the same day if that’s your thing, but I think id advise caution on the second man, make sure you stay safe, not everyone is as they appear on line.

The fact you’re planning to shag a stranger would be the more concerning part for me in terms Of personal safety,

Ilets · 10/05/2020 18:59

Men are designed to deal with this scenario so it has obviously been going on since the dawn of time
The coronal ridge on the penis is designed to scoop out other men's semen.

MarieQueenofScots · 10/05/2020 19:00

People like to suggest that lots of women are up for sex only encounters - not relationships

Do they? I’ve seen nobody suggest that. But the opposite isn’t true either.

There are at least two examples on this thread.

And how many people involved in this kind of sex for an extended period (with several partners) is never ever hurt or can say with certainty that someone else can’t been hurt ever?

I’ve never been hurt. Why would I? I have no desire for a relationship, I am very clear with partners that it will never be anything else. Right from the beginning. I do everything possible to ensure people don’t get hurt. If they choose to develop feelings when they know it won’t progress that isn’t really my look out.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 10/05/2020 19:03

The coronal ridge on the penis is designed to scoop out other men's semen.
🤮🤢