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Original poster

Would you sleep with two different people in the same day?

601 replies

ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 12:53

I don’t mean a threesome.

Purely hypothetical at the moment, but I’m curious to know what people would do.

I only have every other weekend free due to childcare. I have a casual partner, and I’ve been speaking to someone for the past 6 weeks I really want to meet.

When lockdown is lifted (yes, I don’t it’s going to be any time soon hence hypothetical), I would probably see on of them Friday Night and the other Sat night. If I stay over (which I do with my casual), there would be morning sex.

So that’s my question really - would you have morning sex with one person and then have sex with someone else in the evening? I can’t decide if I think it’s fine or a bit weird.

OP posts:
midnightstar66 · 10/05/2020 17:35

All my partners know it isn’t exclusive. I am very clear and give them the option to opt out if that isn’t for them. *

See this is far better and absolutely fine. I said I'd want to know and another poster stated she wouldn't tell someone even sometimes if they asked (based on a wording technicality) if everyone is in the know I don't see a problem.

Original poster
ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 17:37

But then the risk is there regardless of the condom splitting. And it would be a risk with a casual regardless of how many you had.

OP posts:
Raidblunner · 10/05/2020 17:39

Might be an idea if you practice safe sex as these two guys might well be doing the same which from a sexual health perspective potentially means your effectively sleeping with 6 people that weekend. How so? 1 man sleeps with 2 other partners that weekend equating to 3 then multiply by two to include the other guy. Sharing is caring but ot when herpes, cold sores & chlymidia are on the menu.

Purpleartichoke · 10/05/2020 17:41

Only 1 partner per menstrual cycle for me.

Plus, I’m not sleeping with a new person without getting tested in between.

Original poster
ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 17:41

Just as another reminder: safe sex is a given (isn’t it for everyone?) Wink

OP posts:
Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 10/05/2020 17:43

But then the risk is there regardless of the condom splitting. And it would be a risk with a casual regardless of how many you had.

Is this about STIs? If so, the longer the gap between partners, even if casual, the less chance of spreading diseases. Imagine if after this you had symptoms of something. You wouldn't know which one you'd caught it from and if it was the first you'd then have to be telling the second, not only that he was the second that day but also you've potentially given him something.

Bbq1 · 10/05/2020 17:44

It's not puritanical to say you find the idea of multiple sexual 'partners' on the same day repellant. I agree that op sounds very young but I don't think she is, she mentioned 20 years of sexual activity so she's roughly 36+ with a child. I hope she matures before her child is a teenager. Just imagine what other teens would day to the op's son if it got out that his man had 2 men in a day. Anyone saying they've done this always say it was when they were young, a student etc. I

BluebellForest836 · 10/05/2020 17:44

See this is far better and absolutely fine. I said I'd want to know and another poster stated she wouldn't tell someone even sometimes if they asked (based on a wording technicality) if everyone is in the know I don't see a problem

Seeing someone and having sex with someone in a fwb/fb situation isn’t a word technicality to me... It’s a whole different thing.

Purpleartichoke · 10/05/2020 17:44

Safe sex doesn’t exist. Safer sex lowers the odds of transmission, but doesn’t negate the risk of a life limiting Illness.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 10/05/2020 17:44

Just as another reminder: safe sex is a given (isn’t it for everyone?) wink

How?

How are you guarding against lice, herpes or scabies?

YgritteSnow · 10/05/2020 17:45

Probably.

sammylady37 · 10/05/2020 17:49

Anyone saying they've done this always say it was when they were young, a student etc

Happy to say I’m doing it at the age of 40 and intend to continue doing so.

Original poster
ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 17:50

You wouldn't know which one you'd caught it from and if it was the first you'd then have to be telling the second, not only that he was the second that day but also you've potentially given him something.

If my FWB is sleeping with other people too (no idea but probably), then the same would be true for him that he’d have to tell me and them too. We’ve agreed together that we are non-exclusive, so part of that agreement is weighing up those risks. The sleeping with multiple partners in the same day or the same week is neither here nor there in that scenario.

OP posts:
Original poster
ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 17:53

I agree that op sounds very young but I don't think she is, she mentioned 20 years of sexual activity so she's roughly 36+ with a child. I hope she matures before her child is a teenager. Just imagine what other teens would day to the op's son if it got out that his man had 2 men in a day.

20 years of sexual activity! Not quite! Wink I’m 32. I’m glad I sound young - right now I feel younger than I have in the past 10 years of my relationship.

My son is only 2, so I’m not too worried about his friends finding out right now. Who knows, maybe I will have ’matured’ by time I’m 46+, but if not - I’ll have plenty of time to perfect, and keep secret, my new way of living.

OP posts:
midnightstar66 · 10/05/2020 17:54

Denying 'seeing' anyone when you meet someone regularly for sex and refer to them as a partner would be dishonest in my eyes. I appreciate not everyone has the same interpretation so that's why transparency and expectations from the outset is probably fairest and best all round so people can make informed choices.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 10/05/2020 17:54

Right, but you know and are accepting those risks.

Are you going to tell man number two that you've slept with another man that day (who's sleeping with other people too) so that he can decide whether he accepts those risks?

LuxLuxLux84 · 10/05/2020 17:55

I’d feel nasty but go for it 😬

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 10/05/2020 17:56

My early 20s were very dull, so I’m now of the opinion to enjoy myself as much as I can.

Same with my 40s. I'm 53 and can't wait for lockdown to end Grin

Original poster
ElderflowerPotion · 10/05/2020 17:59

No, I’m not going to tell new guy when I’ve slept with someone else. That’s not his business. If he knows it’s casual and non-exclusive then he only has to ask how often I see other people (if he wants to know) and I’d tell him that. I can’t see a reason to tell him the when. The risks are the same whether it was earlier that day or earlier that week.

I wouldn’t expect him (or FWB) to tell me when they last slept with someone else either.

OP posts:
Mother87 · 10/05/2020 17:59

Dippy egg & soldiers/stirring porridge/lock being opened by many keys - misogyny at it's finest ffs
If it's consensual and safe and none of the relationships are exclusive - why not??

midnightstar66 · 10/05/2020 18:02

You obviously don't have to list the times you are sleeping with other men but at least let him know you will be doing so. If you've done so already then fine, go for it.

MarieQueenofScots · 10/05/2020 18:03

Anyone saying they've done this always say it was when they were young, a student etc

I’m mid-30s with a teen.

sammylady37 · 10/05/2020 18:05

@Mother87
Dippy egg & soldiers/stirring porridge/lock being opened by many keys - misogyny at it's finest ffs

Exactly. The word ‘grim’ has been used a lot on this thread but tbh the only grim thing I see is the awful attitude towards other women who have different approaches to sex.

Oopsiedaisyy · 10/05/2020 18:06

Yes, and have

Swingingontheswing · 10/05/2020 18:07

No, I’m not going to tell new guy when I’ve slept with someone else. That’s not his business

It is his business. Most people would assume that the person they are sleeping with is not sleeping with someone else. How can it ever become a trusting relationship otherwise.

If I settled into a relationship with someone and found out that they had been seeing their FWB until we were ‘officially exclusive’ (whatever that means - months?), it would colour my view of them. It would also raise trust issues way further down the line.