Neighbour unhappy about kids playing basketball - how do I handle this?

[Lockdownfunk]

Occasional past poster here (NC).

Our two teens have been playing basketball during lockdown, for maybe a few hours a day tops.

One neighbour has complained about the noise via text and says another neighbour (who I don’t know) is annoyed too. They’ve said the ball ‘constantly’ hitting the backboard is intrusive and have asked me to do something about it (and have offered to help with a solution if they can).

I absolutely don’t want to be a nuisance neighbour, so would like to do something ... but what?

It’s a robust hoop (secondhand, £500+ new) but, being freestanding, does rattle around a bit when it’s hit. We have nowhere that a hoop can be fixed to a wall, which might make less noise. The only supposedly quieter model I’ve found costs £1,500 and needs concreting into the ground.

Everyone’s obviously stuck at home so we need to be considerate - but because everyone’s stuck at home, don’t people also need to make some allowance too for kids letting off steam in their gardens? A bit of daily basketball keeps the teens sane; they love it, and it’s exercise.

We’re rural, detached, spread out - not houses on top of each other - and the kids play on grass, not tarmac or concrete (so the bouncing isn’t an issue). It’s just the (clattery) backboard banging - which is pretty central to basketball. I’ve looked online and there isn’t much we can do to adapt it.

I haven’t responded to my neighbour (it’s been a few days) and feel I ought to; I’m getting quite stressed about it. The kids are on at me as I’ve asked them to pause playing for a few days while we try to figure out a compromise as a family ... but we’re getting nowhere (other than the idea of suggesting a maximum of an hour or so in an agreed time window), and today ended up full-on rowing about it.

Any ideas? Do the neighbours need to bend a bit? Or do the teens just need to stop? Thanks.

It wouldn’t bother me at all. Our ndn plays basket ball throughout the day. Some people just like things to moan about.

Everyone round me has bought their small DCs paddling pools and garden toys to keep them amused. The noise is fucking immense and the squealing constant. But 🤷‍♀️I live near other people and the kids need amusing. It won't be forever. I just shut my windows and swig wine.

Play netball instead.

I think it's normal noise, a bit irritating but not unexpected for teens in lockdown. I have asked dds not to play table tennis for too long for same reason but an hour at a time is fine I think.

Bouncing balls for hours a day would rattle most neighbours.

Maybe have a conversation with them and compromise.

We have debated this one at home. Dh is more noise sensitive than I am, so we have differing opinions. This is the sort of thing that would aggravate him but barely register with me.

Just ask your lads to keep it to an hour at a time as it’s annoying the neighbours enough for them to have contacted you directly. I suppose if it’s hours every day it becomes ever present.

I have three surrounding gardens, containing 11 kids, three trampolines, goalposts, cricket stumps, slides, swings etc.

I've adapted, life goes on. The world needs lively kids.

What is the definition of a few hours? More than an hour and a half is too much. Compromise at that.

If possible, take the back board off or cover it with a thick sponge.

It’s a lot quieter in the gardens around us than it used to be. I think people are being more considerate because they know the virus is making us all anxious and they know that more of us are at home.

This is making your neighbours anxious so try to compromise.

Pipe lagging, bubblewrap, rolled towel lashed to rim - could all muffle sound.

Wouldn't that also make the hoop too small for the ball

Make them play netball, ie either take away the back board or put a cushion / foam/ something soft on it.

And limit to 1 hour a day.

I suppose context of noise comes into it as well.
If you’re surrounded by families all playing out, you won’t notice the lone basketball hoop backboard like you do in a rural, spaced out setting.

We stayed on a campsite for a week one year and were the only family campers on the field. The site itself was quiet with only a few other campers dotted around.

Our kids aren’t notably noisy (compared to others). Ds2 is very bookish and dd rather shy, while neither of them are interested in sports or ball games so making a clamour isn’t really an issue for us. They are high pitched and impulsive like any kids though.

One lady camper said to me in passing, “Your kids aren’t half bloody noisy!” and I just replied, “Yeah, they’re kids.” and kept walking.
Our kids seemed so loud because the campsite was so quiet. We have stayed on many a campsite where our kids are easily drowned out by other families just doing their thing. No one has ever told us our kids are noisy before or since.

I suppose in this case the setting similarly compounds the perception of the noise.

perhaps outlining from your kids point of view how their world has been turned upside down and it’s one of the small things they can enjoy right now

And the neighbour's world hasn't been turned upside down? Do they not get to have a small thing like being able to relax in their garden?

I'm astonished at the cavalier attitude of many posters here.

I'd say about 4 hour max would be OK (there are 20 other hours in the day)

Yep, after all, the neighbours could enjoy the quiet of their garden from 9pm to 9am!
Four hours is totally unreasonable. That's a whole morning or a whole afternoon, every single day.

I'd suggest some foam, cylindrical, about 1.5cm long and 1cm diameter.

Your neighbours can apply one to each ear canal.

We had this with our neighbour, I also started a thread, we are also detached on quite large plots, have reached a compromise, so DS can use it for approx 30 mins a time and not at lunch time when neighbour having lunch with doors /windows open, DS not an early riser anyway and if he did play early evening they retire to the front of their house with TV on so sound not as annoying for them. They’ve actually lightened up about it on lockdown and mentioned they feel DC need to be outside and not on tech all the time but still feel we need to be considerate, part of suburban living is putting up with your neighbours, think we all do things as neighbours which are annoying but does get me when finger gets pointed as I would never dream of saying anything about other sides constant BBQ’s at 2pm every sunny afternoon, anyway I digress, it’s just one of those things about suburban living, if we/they don’t like it perhaps living in the middle of nowhere might suit better.

Our neighbours seem to run a carpentry studio in their back garden and drill and sand all day long. Other neighbours play loud music and have bbqs. We have young kids who make noise. That's life unless you have your own castle.

Your neighbours need to get over it

I have teens whose only real exercise / outlet is basketball so sympathise op. Tbh, if you're detached and have a sizeable garden it's presumably not right up against their fence or even that close to the border? In which case I'd be apologetic and confirm you will restrict to daytime hours and maybe no more than 1 hour at any one time but otherwise thank them for their understanding in these difficult times and as soon as lockdown is lifted you will be sending them to the local courts to play but as they can't right now, basketball will continue.

When I'm out walking I've seen houses with those hoops outside and every time think to myself I'd hate to live next door to them. I am sensitive to noise so wouldn't buy a house where there's an existing hoop there but not much you can do if it is put up after you move it. You would hope your neighbours would be considerate. Your neighbours have asked you politely to do something and even offered to help with the solution. Ask if an hour a day would suit them, maybe at a time they go for a walk. Then see what days they go out - food shopping or whatever and sneak in a bit more practice then.

Responding to some of the comments saying wrap things around the backboard or the hoop to dampen the sound, realistically these are not going to be options as they will affect the function of the board and the hoop to such an extent that it would make it quite frustrating to play.

OP I have a similar set up to you and there is a bit of a noisy twang when you hit the back board because of the the spring built into it which makes it behave more like a competitive backboard. My hoop is right outside the window where I work all day and honestly you do zone out the sound. I feel that time limitation is the way to go

Youre obviously in your house when they are playing OP, is it noisy do you think or are you just used to it so it doesn't bother you?

I would personally speak to the neighbour and ask who the other neighbour is (if in fact there is another neighbour?) as you would like to speak to them too. Suggest the boys play an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon, no specific times though. I would be pointing out that you have spoken to the council and they have said it is not a problem.

@Lockdownfunk I can't believe you've actually stopped your kids playing basketball ball! Your neighbours will be thinking they've won! Then when your kids play so much as a single game again, your neighbours will explode with fury
It's the way CFs are!

Not sure where that extra 'ball' came from!

My neighbours have 3 DC between 7-13 and the noise when they are in the garden together is horrific. They cannot play without shouting and screaming at each other, they argue and fight constantly and have tantrums when the parents intervene.

Give my neighbours their due, they are ONLY allowing them out after 4pm on weekdays (most of the day on weekends DS). I'm guessing so as not to disturb people trying to from home.

It's good that they're keeping to a routine time because the rest of us know when chaos is about to ensue and can work around it if we need to.

Could you maybe do something similar?