Neighbour unhappy about kids playing basketball - how do I handle this?

[Lockdownfunk]

Occasional past poster here (NC).

Our two teens have been playing basketball during lockdown, for maybe a few hours a day tops.

One neighbour has complained about the noise via text and says another neighbour (who I don’t know) is annoyed too. They’ve said the ball ‘constantly’ hitting the backboard is intrusive and have asked me to do something about it (and have offered to help with a solution if they can).

I absolutely don’t want to be a nuisance neighbour, so would like to do something ... but what?

It’s a robust hoop (secondhand, £500+ new) but, being freestanding, does rattle around a bit when it’s hit. We have nowhere that a hoop can be fixed to a wall, which might make less noise. The only supposedly quieter model I’ve found costs £1,500 and needs concreting into the ground.

Everyone’s obviously stuck at home so we need to be considerate - but because everyone’s stuck at home, don’t people also need to make some allowance too for kids letting off steam in their gardens? A bit of daily basketball keeps the teens sane; they love it, and it’s exercise.

We’re rural, detached, spread out - not houses on top of each other - and the kids play on grass, not tarmac or concrete (so the bouncing isn’t an issue). It’s just the (clattery) backboard banging - which is pretty central to basketball. I’ve looked online and there isn’t much we can do to adapt it.

I haven’t responded to my neighbour (it’s been a few days) and feel I ought to; I’m getting quite stressed about it. The kids are on at me as I’ve asked them to pause playing for a few days while we try to figure out a compromise as a family ... but we’re getting nowhere (other than the idea of suggesting a maximum of an hour or so in an agreed time window), and today ended up full-on rowing about it.

Any ideas? Do the neighbours need to bend a bit? Or do the teens just need to stop? Thanks.

I thing 2 hours a day...separate hours is fine.

What solution have they offered?

I'd offer to limit it to a time period and ask them if they have a preference on times. We are all in lockdown and do have to be thoughtful and patient with our neighbours, but that works both ways, you can't expect two kids to be quiet in their own gardens all day. I think 2 hours basketball is more than fine. I have to listen to my neighbour squeaky trampoline all bloody day, but appreciate you have to entertain kids in some way shape or form. It's about compromise.

I agree, limit the time they are playing.

Also, it’s not just the ball hitting the backboard, but bouncing on the ground as well.

I'd offer to limit it to a time period and ask them if they have a preference on times

No... the kids aren't in school and having a designated time is like a P.E lesson.

Your children should be able to play when they want, as long as it's not late at night when people are trying to sleep or too early in the morning.

Neighbours don't get to tell you what time your kids can play..this is not a commune.

Please do not ask your neighbours to nominate a time ! The noise may be annoying but it will open up the possibility of them dictating what you do for n your garden and when.
Remove the back board , no need to do anything else.

I have an DS that plays basketball in the garden. Our hoop is on a sturdy stand too. I'm sure padding the backboard with foam or the like would help, and the rim of the hoop too -tricky but do-able. And place something soft over the base, a few pillows, anything. A soft ball would work but appreciate it's not the same. Better than not playing at all?
We are semi rural and only have one neighbour who has always sat out out the front and DS plays at the back so hopefully not an issue for them.

I'd give anything for DS14 to be out in the garden exercising for a long time every day. Sorry probably not that helpful, but what they're doing is healthy and active. I think finding a way to dull the noise a bit is the way to go, rather than overly restricting them doing it.

All you can do is look into which bit rattle and muffle / remove the back board. As your dcs are teens, perhaps they can come up with some solutions. Physics lesson.

I think a compromise would be an hour twice a day, more if you can get the noise levels down enough.

That would drive me nutty. And I have 2 teen ds's who like playing football. A few minutes of them hitting it against a wall and I have to tell them to stop.

An hour max every day. Then they can go for a run or a bike ride, or do some exercises.

@Itwasntme1

I am with you! What on earth is wrong with compromising with your neighbours and being considerate to others' feelings? There's so much selfishness.

I would suggest either one 90 minute period or two 1 hour periods.

And yes, I also agree that the not knowing when a noise will end adds to the torture, so would tell your neighbours what length of time you've agreed.

I don't know if I would stipulate set times, I think that might make it more of a chore eventually!

I think the neighbours are being a wee bit intolerant, and possibly got together over this to complain. Maybe they are used to very little noise at all during normal life and are possibly home much more than usual. Maybe limit it a bit but kids have got to play. I hear the boys across the road from me playing with their basketball but wouldn’t complain.

An hour a couple of times a day is fine, several hours not so fine. But depends on how loud it is at their property as to where the cut off is

Tell them it’s either that or the drums.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. It’s a large detached property and they are playing during the day. Plus, these are exceptional circumstances, it’s not forever.

I’ve had to limit dh’S noise in the garden so as not to cause any annoyance to our neighbours ours. Dh is currently remodelling the garden. He’s lifted slabs and cut them in half. I told him to cut them all at once instead of as and when they were needed. The noise was driving me demented.

Same with sawing etc. Do it all at once. Then get on with the quieter jobs.

Luckily our neighbours are fairly easy going. And had asked us to not do anything noisy when they were having a dinner outside (via FaceTime) with their grandkids.

Mr neighbour has also helped dh move railway sleepers (more than 2m long...) as I couldn’t lift them and watch the dc. So they’re aware of the noise.

OP, how did the neighbours frame the request? Assuming they were polite I'd be inclined to do something, regardless if the fact that your children have the right to play

I'd be inclined towards 1 hour in the morning and one in the afternoon.

We need a perspective map, surely 😉
Sounds like you have grumpy neighbours. It's bad luck, as next to me i wouldn't mind but breaking it into two hourly slots might be good optics and look like you have worked towards a compromise

A few hours a day is far too many.

The virus isn't an excuse to be a lousy neighbour. You've been told it's upsetting people yet you allow it to continue.

How much it cost is neither here nor there. An hour a day in short bursts is enough.

I think your neighbours are being ridiculous and I'd ignore them. Kids (even big kids!) playing is great and surely they must understand your DCs are fed up and need activity?!

It's also not like this will be the case forever: these are unusual times.

Ask them over for a game? 😃

Oh, and I think if I were you I'd let your DCs and DP deal with the neighbours. Miserable fuckers that they are. And I am quite grumpy and hate the noise of my neighbours' dc screeching but suck it up as I live near people 🤷‍♀️

An hour a day maximum.

Your children's enjoyment of basketball does not trump the needs of everyone else. Ignoring their needs will mean this will escalate and be a long lasting rift. They are not asking for silence! They are asking not to be driven mad by an endless clatter.

I would be asking my dc to do other sports and activities elsewhere so that are active but not causing commotion.

I would not want to be living next door to you mas perhaps your neighbours will return the favour one day and start doing their 4am exercise routines to drum and bass going forward..

we have a neighbour with a dog that barks, if I knew the dog was going to bark for 2 hours then stop - id be delighted

Can you organise a time for the noise between you for a set time and then stop. 2 hours during the day is 8.5% of the day so not a large amount of time in the scheme of things

id prefer the morning to be noisy and enjoy the peace in the afternoon

I love basketball but the constant repetitive noise would drive me batty.
Some people might even be trying to work from home or have sensory issues.

You said you're spread out and rural.Can you move it down the road where there arent houses?
Then they can play as much as they want and the neighbors wont be annoyed.

My next door neighbour's daughter plays basketball a lot. It's noisy and annoying but I wouldn't dream of asking her not to. She's a kid, she's bored out of her brain, she's doing some exercise.

Honestly I find the people gardening and operating power tools all day on their furlough projects far more irritating. I think your neighbours are miserable sods.

I'd also ignore it too as long as its not too early in the morning or too late at night when they're playing. I'm sure given half a chance your teenagers would prefer to be out and about with their friends but seen as that isn't allowed at the moment they should have the freedom to do what they like in their home surroundings.
Fresh are and exercise are the best things for them let them enjoy it rather than be stuck indoors on a screen.
Tell your neighbours to shut their windows if it bothers them that much

There also might be neighbours with coronavirus, can you just imagine being that poorly and having the constant noise of a basketball hitting the net. I think we have to be considerate, now more than ever.

Nobody is being unreasonable. Kids just want to play basketball. Neighbours just want some respite. Compromise on the number of hours a day. Everyone gives a little. Relationships stay healthy.