Neighbour unhappy about kids playing basketball - how do I handle this?

[Lockdownfunk]

Occasional past poster here (NC).

Our two teens have been playing basketball during lockdown, for maybe a few hours a day tops.

One neighbour has complained about the noise via text and says another neighbour (who I don’t know) is annoyed too. They’ve said the ball ‘constantly’ hitting the backboard is intrusive and have asked me to do something about it (and have offered to help with a solution if they can).

I absolutely don’t want to be a nuisance neighbour, so would like to do something ... but what?

It’s a robust hoop (secondhand, £500+ new) but, being freestanding, does rattle around a bit when it’s hit. We have nowhere that a hoop can be fixed to a wall, which might make less noise. The only supposedly quieter model I’ve found costs £1,500 and needs concreting into the ground.

Everyone’s obviously stuck at home so we need to be considerate - but because everyone’s stuck at home, don’t people also need to make some allowance too for kids letting off steam in their gardens? A bit of daily basketball keeps the teens sane; they love it, and it’s exercise.

We’re rural, detached, spread out - not houses on top of each other - and the kids play on grass, not tarmac or concrete (so the bouncing isn’t an issue). It’s just the (clattery) backboard banging - which is pretty central to basketball. I’ve looked online and there isn’t much we can do to adapt it.

I haven’t responded to my neighbour (it’s been a few days) and feel I ought to; I’m getting quite stressed about it. The kids are on at me as I’ve asked them to pause playing for a few days while we try to figure out a compromise as a family ... but we’re getting nowhere (other than the idea of suggesting a maximum of an hour or so in an agreed time window), and today ended up full-on rowing about it.

Any ideas? Do the neighbours need to bend a bit? Or do the teens just need to stop? Thanks.

What it if was decided on an hour in the morning and it rains? Does that mean the kids cant have a play in the afternoon or early evening if it dries up. Take control and ACT, dont just REACT. Do not let your neighbours dictate your life. Negotiate with your kids as to whet you think might be reasonable and then inform your neighbours what has been decided. Then let them suck it up.

Neighbours are out of order. Yes it's annoying noise, no they don't have the right to make you stop. Stop being such a doormat and stand up for your DC. It's not like they're screaming, playing loud music, smoking etc.

I don't think finding a compromise is being a door mat! It greases the wheels and helps everyone feel they are getting some of what they need; exercise and release for the kids, some peace and quite for the neighbours.
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I have just commented on another thread that I am becoming increasingly concerned at either how intolerant I am or how selfish everyone else is.

I’m not sure which it is. But seriously, since when did trying to compromise with a neighbour over hours of irritating noise and teaching your children to be a little bit considerate mean you are a dormat.

Hours of continued hoop noise is irritating. It’s annoying the neighbours. Reducing that would be the generous neighbourly thing to do. Am I going mad? When I was a child of a neighbour complained about noise, my mum would ask us to be a bit quieter, not be silent. Since when did compromise become weakness? When did we start teaching children not to care what impact they have on others.

I think I need to move to the middle of nowhere and never encounter another human being again😊. I am wound far too tight for this world.

My ex neighbours kid did this all day every day. Drove me mental. Inconsiderate bastards.

I would tell them that your boys will keep it to 2 hours a day. That’s not unreasonable.

My DS also plays basketball for about an hour and a half, teens need the exercise and there are very few exercises they can do in the garden that provide a sufficient aerobic workout to keep up their fitness levels.

And at the remove the backboard suggestions. That would be netball. With the added benefits of no bouncing

I have to tell my own son to stop after an hour as the house is so annoying so I fully understand where they are coming from! Buy them some weights and send them for a run to keep them occupied, it's very hard for teenagers at this time.

Noise not house!

Considering we’re months into lock down, this is a daily occurrence fir a few hours every day, AND you’re detached so the distance this noise is travelling just mean it’s quite loud- your neighbours have been making allowances for all these many weeks. they have likely reached the end of their patience to write to you now.

The suggestion of an hour a day agreed with your neighbour sounds ideal. Kids need to be told, why it’s important and be told this is how it is. Not an option. Sometimes Teens are very self absorbed, not often realising how their actions impact others.

I think it depends whether it is continuous or broken up and also the time of day. If it was for three hours all morning then that would annoy me as my children study in the morning so I manage to get some of my work done. If it was say an hour at lunchtime and an hour from 5.30 to 6.30 I wouldn't necessarily enjoy it but I would endure it.

I can't believe the responses here. Kids play in gardens, that's what they do. A few hours is fine! Your children have every right to play basketball as long as its not early morning or late at night I think.

It’s hard to tell as you went from a few hours a day tops to max an hour or two. Like you’re trying to minimise it,

Two is a lot to be fair. It’s an annoying noise. However get the point the kids want to play.

I think not responding to your neighbour is beyond rude though. And simply compounds the issue.

Respond and say you’re really sorry, you’ve used the last few days to try to find a solution and are struggling, ask if they have any ideas. Explain it’s difficult in lock down as the kids love it, but you do not wish to make their own lock down worse.

I'm surprised by all this negativity. I think a designated 90 mins a day would work. You sound very considerate like you're trying to find a way round it for all parties so good for you.

If the council told you the noise is fine then it is.

I live rurally but hear all sorts of noises from families, DIY etc and I never complain because no doubt the geese I own are irritating when they honk but we all rub along in one village.

I think your kids should continue, I'd love my DD to be outside exercising than playing xbox.

It doesn’t seem that unreasonable to me,And the op says houses are not that close. I’d say 2 hours a day, and the boys will aim for some friendlier times so 8-9, lunch , 5-6 , weather permitting. Politely say If you have a particularly important meeting do let us know, we don’t want to inconvenience anyone more than we can help.
As the neighbour I’d think good they are playing basketball and if it really upset me I’d ask them not to play say 2-5 or whenever I’m most productive. Not just complain.

I would go with an hour a day,my son plays guitar and bass and he gets an hour. Lack of control and knowing when noise will finish is often what causes the stress.
Also as a huge basket ball fan and player in my teens,I still coach a kids team. Could he not practise his other skills more that dont involve shooting hoops.Youtube have great skills and drills videos.

I'd say two hours a day max, broken down as 1 hr sessions. Don't have an agreed time though as your kids need some flexibility.

Neighbours are being unreasonable. Round our way (naice MC place) we’ve had strimmers all day for what seems like weeks, neighbours chopping tiles for their new kitchen, kids playing outside from dusk to dawn because the weather’s so nice, plus random instruments at various degrees of proficiency. It’s just part and parcel of everyday life, surely?

How loud can it be that far away?

Maybe say an hour or two per day? They are being a bit on the precious side I think .Young boys have tons of energy ,and being cooped up with no School or activities is obviously going to lead to them feeling bored and needing an outlet .Lockdown wont be forever, and presumably they were OK with it before?

We had the same in one house, it was like water torture with neighbours son for hours and hours each day. I didnt complain but it was not good and we werent on lockdown so at least I could go out.

I’ve just googled ‘noisy basketball ‘ and it seems it’s a problem for lots of people, but all the answers say that there’s nothing the complainers can do about it. I would do as a pp said and try and secure all the bits that rattle, let the neighbours know you have tried to make it quieter and ask them if they have any suggestions , it’s a shame to make the boys stop .

There are few noises more grating and intrusive than a ball rebound.

Yep.It would drive me insane. That rhythmic bouncing/rattling is awful. It's been lovely weather, we're all trying to hang on to our sanity and enjoy our gardens because there's nowhere else to go. 'Only' a few hours a day is hugely unfair. That could be a whole afternoon every day.

I'd say an hour, max, would be fair.

You need to limit the amount of time they play - I had this day in day out with a neighbour and it made life hell. I could hear the ball noise reverberatiing through every flipping room of the house - sometimes went on past 10 at night.

Sometimes, the most annoying part of a noise is not knowing when it will end. So, a set time will probably be the best solution.
And, the fact you have made an effort to be helpful will really smooth the waves too.

I'm stunned that your boys have been so well behaved in stopping totally 😅, they must be nice lads. Send them over to do the negotiations.

My neighbours have one in their garden, for me it’s not actually the backboard, it’s the ball bouncing on the flags. There’s something about a proper basketball that the noise really carries.

I’m generally quite noise tolerant (and a wee bit deaf from too many rock and metal gigs) but some days I’ve had to close my office window because the noise was driving me potty.

I’ve also had people able to hear it on calls (and that’s using a headset with mic.)

Could they play for a few shorter sessions throughout the day, that would be much easier to cope with than several hours in one stretch, also could they play part of the time with a slightly softer ball?

It’s great that you’re willing to try and find a compromise though. I hope the neighbours are receptive.