Neighbour unhappy about kids playing basketball - how do I handle this?

[Lockdownfunk]

Occasional past poster here (NC).

Our two teens have been playing basketball during lockdown, for maybe a few hours a day tops.

One neighbour has complained about the noise via text and says another neighbour (who I don’t know) is annoyed too. They’ve said the ball ‘constantly’ hitting the backboard is intrusive and have asked me to do something about it (and have offered to help with a solution if they can).

I absolutely don’t want to be a nuisance neighbour, so would like to do something ... but what?

It’s a robust hoop (secondhand, £500+ new) but, being freestanding, does rattle around a bit when it’s hit. We have nowhere that a hoop can be fixed to a wall, which might make less noise. The only supposedly quieter model I’ve found costs £1,500 and needs concreting into the ground.

Everyone’s obviously stuck at home so we need to be considerate - but because everyone’s stuck at home, don’t people also need to make some allowance too for kids letting off steam in their gardens? A bit of daily basketball keeps the teens sane; they love it, and it’s exercise.

We’re rural, detached, spread out - not houses on top of each other - and the kids play on grass, not tarmac or concrete (so the bouncing isn’t an issue). It’s just the (clattery) backboard banging - which is pretty central to basketball. I’ve looked online and there isn’t much we can do to adapt it.

I haven’t responded to my neighbour (it’s been a few days) and feel I ought to; I’m getting quite stressed about it. The kids are on at me as I’ve asked them to pause playing for a few days while we try to figure out a compromise as a family ... but we’re getting nowhere (other than the idea of suggesting a maximum of an hour or so in an agreed time window), and today ended up full-on rowing about it.

Any ideas? Do the neighbours need to bend a bit? Or do the teens just need to stop? Thanks.

Could you move the hoop to a different part of the garden? Maybe that would muffle the noise for the affected neighbour? I think a couple of hours a day isn't unreasonable but a repetitive noise can be grating.

One or two hours a day is nowhere near enough exercise for a teenager who isn't doing normal stuff like walking to and from places.

I'd say about 4 hour max would be OK (there are 20 other hours in the day) but I'd go the way of muffling the noise rather than restricting time spent doing the basketball.

And you could buy the neighbours some ear plugs?

Mumsnet confuses me on so many things.

The majority on here don't give a fuck when the smoke and smell from weed is aggravating neighbours and say the person affected should just get on with life and ignore it. And now you have teens playing basketball and people are saying they shouldn't.

Personally I would just crack on OP. They are playing in their garden and not say on games consoles. You could be nice and ask for a time that would not annoy the neighbours so much, but other than that just get on with it.

I can’t believe what I am reading here.
Should children be seen and not heard these days?
We are in a situation where they can’t socialise, can’t go for a game of football with their friends, can’t go to the cinema or even go to school but now can’t play in their own gardens either 🤷🏼‍♀️
We don’t get a great deal of decent weather in this country so I think kids should be outside making the most of it the best way they can.
Adults are out in their gardens daily at the moment, using lawn mowers, hedge trimmers, listening to music, using power washers, making general noise while in their gardens and certainly where I like this is going on for hours most of the day. If the noise gets irritating I just go inside for a break because I too need to do those things in my garden while I’ve got the chance so don’t see the point in being all worked about it

I think your neighbours are BU but to keep up good relationships I would do an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon or something like that! I definitely WOULD NOT be asking them when suits them!!

Nah...if you’re in detached properties, you’re not in each other’s laps. Your neighbours are letting what can only be a minor irritation become a major one by focusing on it. It’ll be a lockdown thing where little things become more pertinent because of the restrictions.
I’d ignore them to be honest. It’s fine for your kids to use their basketball hoop in the garden. I’m not unsympathetic to your neighbours because we all allow little things to grate on us beyond proportion from time to time...but it’s no reason to give them control or say in what goes on in your garden. Playing out is fine. If they were shrieky toddlers or jumping on a trampoline, your neighbours would be complaining about that instead. Don’t apologise or curtail your activities because they’re cranky. They don’t have a right to silence.

I am gonna disagree with the majority here and tell you not to stop your kids playing.

They are in their own garden, doing nothing wrong. Tell your neighbour that you are sorry its annoying them but you won't be stopping them playing.

Sorry but that is really irritating,

I think your neighbors have no right in asking your kids to limit or stop playing basketball. How loud could it possibly be when you live rurally!

It’s great that your kids want to be active and they should do so as much as possible. Ask your neighbor what solution they are looking for because you can’t think of any.

Our neighbors have loud music on in the evening and carry out loud DIY during the day at the moment and we have a 13 month old who is trying to sleep. I can’t say anything because it’s the middle of the day and they have every right. I just play white noise for the baby to drown it out.

The neighbours are BU, it’s normal day time noise. I personally would not be agreeing to set times or banning my kids from playing. As long as it’s not late at night or super early in the morning, then that is considerate enough? Perhaps your neighbours feel like they should get total silence, but most people can hear garden noise from all around and just have to get on with it - that’s just how it is when everyone is stuck at home together in lock down

Hour a day tops. Yes, kids need to exercise but there is lots they can do without annoying other people. If the neighbours are continually complaining about something I would not be bothered but if this has come out of the blue, they are being bothered by a noise that can be controlled.

These are strange times. To an extent we are captive audiences to others lives at the moment and they might also need some respite in the same way that your kids need to let off steam.

Be considerate.

What @Loubylou9162 said. With maybe a conciliatory note back through their door saying you do appreciate it’s annoying, but perhaps outlining from your kids point of view how their world has been turned upside down and it’s one of the small things they can enjoy right now. My neighbour has a petrol mower going almost every bloody day, it stinks and is noisy but cultivating his lawn is obviously keeping him sane so I get over it.

My kids keep knocking their footballs into the same garden to a new neighbour we don’t know. For their English activity I got them to write a letter apologising but explaining they are missing their football and need to get rid of their energy. Perhaps you kids could write a note instead of you explaining how much it means to them. My neighbour put his head over the fence and said the note made his day! He said he had grown up sons and completely understood. He then produced a sharpie and said kids other side doing same, pop your initials on your balls and I make sure I keep chucking the right ones back! Was a lovely chat and we all felt better and made friends with a new neighbour.

If my kids get too loud or shrieky I do tell them to turn it in but I certainly wouldn’t stop them and nor should you. They need it right now for their well being. Bit of basketball hoop noise isn’t really that damaging but I appreciate the want to keep neighbours onside. If you want to limit it to keep the peace that’s a nice gesture but definitely don’t let them dictate the time of day as well!!

They're being unreasonable and unfair, particularly at this time. So many teenagers do far too little exercise and it's more important that they are out than that the neighbours have complete quiet.

However, is there really nothing you can do to cut out some of the noise? There are lots of suggestions on here.

It also sounds like a good idea to encourage other activities alongside which would be good for the boys' fitness but less intrusive for the neighbours.

You could mention in your reply how keen you are to avoid them being inside on screens all the time.

I don't think 90 minutes to a couple of hours is unreasonable.

Well, presumably you're at home. What are you hearing? How bad is it?

I hate noise, really hate it. But I just can't see that this is something your kids should have to stop doing. Although what times are they doing it? How long is "a few" hours really?
I don't think they should be starting before 9.30ish and I think they should stop by 7 latest. Equally, I don't think that those hours should be constantly filled with noise 8 plus hours a day, every day.

Also, there's 2 of them. Are they shouting, cheering and jeering at each other as they play? Because that wouldn't help at all.

I would ask the neighbour if there's anything in particular that they're disrupting - zoom meetings or similar. If there are, work round them. I'd also instigate time limits and let them know. I wouldn't be too rigid though - you can't have a situation where your neighbour is policing your activities. (You said 1 hour, it's been an hour and 10! etc)

Also, you know your neighbours - are they contacting you in desperation or are they the kind who think they can dictate to the whole neighbourhood?

I wouldn’t set times or produce a schedule either.

I’m on the fuck em side. An hour a day. They cope with lawn mowers and stuff.

Pipe lagging, bubblewrap, rolled towel lashed to rim - could all muffle sound.

Sorry if I've missed it, but are your neighbours attempting to work from home? If so, this may be adding to the annoyance levels. For me WFH, it's not noise that's a problem but the unpredictability of it. Yes, children who would normally be at school need to burn up energy, but I would not normally be trying to participate in meetings or, in my case, make recordings of presentations that can be sent to associates in other countries that can't travel.

There has to be compromise so that everyone can try and make the best of the current situation. I would suggest agreeing a couple of one hours slots per day with the neighbours so that they know when the repeated noise will happen and how long it will last.

I might tell my neighbours that my kids were going to stay in the house and set up a band .. get large amplifiers delivered or just ask on local social media if any are for sale

And lots of people are trying to work from home in much less suitable surroundings for goodness sake. If they even are. They should be grateful that's all they have to get angry about

Oh God, your poor neighbours. That would drive me round the bend, especially if I was trying to work from home. Can you put it at the end of the garden and remove the backboard or something? Arrange for them to play in the evening between 5-7 pm?

If it's a detached house and your neighbours are not immediately close they need to suck some.of this up. Teens need encouraging to get out and be fit not banned. If they usually play in social hours then no problem. I'd suggest replying you've had a family chat, play will be restricted to 2 hrs per day - do not specify a time, thats just silly and leads to issues if the weather or plans changes. Acknowledge it's difficult for all especially teens with exams not happening and not being able to see their friendship groups. And thank them for understanding (they offered to help with a solution I think)

Hopefully with the weather being a little cooler this week coming the neighbours will be out less / windows closed so it won't annoy them so much.
But teens need to be able to excersice, play and let off some steam x

Your neighbours are being unreasonable.

Kids restricted to home and playing outside is our current reality.

I’d message back and say you’ve looked into solutions and haven’t come up with anything appropriate, do they have anything in mind.

Don’t get into a scenario where your DC are restricted to an hour set by the neighbour, you’ll never be able to row back and it’s a significant restriction on your DC.