People who are having an affair? How are you managing during lockdown

[Sosweetmylovelygirl]

Just that really ! Are you missing your lover? How are you managing not seeing them during lockdown? I’m curious.

Just because someone tags you doesn’t mean you have to respond @Faye1284. Or is it that you like the attention and you’re an attention seeker?

@scrambledtofu I already said if I stop being tagged, I'll stop responding. The very next two comments, I'm tagged 🤔. So who's attention seeking? @JingsMahBucket?

Just because someone tags you doesn’t mean you have to respond @Faye1284**?

Nobody's even tagging you but you continue to keep shouting out so whats good for the goose an all that. It's also yet another hypercritical statement since many cheats cause others considerable pain for a bit of attention, but that's not a problem here is it? It's only a problem if you dare to use your voice to say cheating is wrong.

There but for the grace of god eh
All of this bosom hoiking "I would NEVER! do anything like that! Statements are hilarious.
Guess what? Once upon a time neither would I.

Same. I was never the type. And then I was.

@Faye1284 you are setting us up...

Put on your big girl pants and ignore. We'll get bored of tagging you eventually...

There but for the grace of god eh
All of this bosom hoiking "I would NEVER! do anything like that! Statements are hilarious
Guess what? Once upon a time neither would I

Would you apply that same logic to paedophilia? "I would NEVER touch a child!"
Abuse? "I would NEVER punch a child in the face!"
Rape? Etc. Whislt cheating is obviously not the same as the above examples, there are some things some people would never, ever do. It's sad you honestly believe that there are no humans with morals in the world.

I'm quite amazed you think that's comparable to be honest.

MN the place where nothing is worse than cheating. Your DP May be violent, injured never to come out of a vegetative state or psychology abusing. you May live in a culture where you can't divorce. But no. Nothing is worse than cheating as far as limited thinking MNers are concerned

I'm not amazed, Boredofbeingathome, the number of posters who flock to the thread to make absurd comparisons. I don't know what the benefit of that is and how on earth can it help?

Nobody on the thread is advocating cheating, it's ultimately a miserable and lonely experience - not for all but for many - because even if you make it as a couple, you start from a deficit.

I don't have an issue with marriages ending because if they were strong, they wouldn't - but looking at it from a selfish perspective of a cheater, why make your new relationship more difficult by starting it in earnest, too soon? Better to realise, end the marriage, have some time to reflect on the ending and mopping up the emotional outfall with respect - and then starting fresh.

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/05/05/exclusive-government-scientist-neil-ferguson-resigns-breaking/

They're coping like this, it turns out

You beat me to it, Ilets! 😄

@damnthatanxiety - but your comparisons are equally absurd. No one on MN has ever said violence is not as bad as cheating - but cheating is abusive also, and often is the psychological abuse of a partner.
As for examples where someone can not escape their marriage - I don’t know of examples where someone has said their DP is in a vegetative state, or in a country where divorce is not permissible. But if they did I’m sure there would be a sympathetic response here.
The fact is that the reasons for cheating are exactly at the heart of the morality, alongside how prolonged, whether and how the betrayed DH/DW is being exploited and humiliated, and whether any good can possibly come of the affair.
The answer is in almost all the cases on this thread it is pretty black and white! Just cake eating! So leave your marriage or open it up to others with consent.
In the public shaming of the Govt scientist, it’s said she was in an open marriage-not cheating.

I saw the news about Neil Ferguson and thought about this thread. Which one of you mucky buggers was it? 😂

@MrsDoylesTeaBags Haha not guilty!
Eeewwww

I'm struggling - 18 months into my affair and we keep in contact by text and phone. It's not the same of course, but it will make the reunion all the sweeter.

I finished things with my OM just before lockdown and have been NC the whole time.

This afternoon he got in touch, all breezy and jokey, asking if I was still angry with him and where my smiles for him are etc.

I told him to stop, and to leave me alone. I can't block him as we work in a small team together.

It hurts... but it's the right thing to do.

Am dreading going back to work...

We are coping, in fact it's made us stronger with the difference between our relationship and his marriage becoming starker.

I’ve posted before. The AP has started seeing someone else. Both single.

I am devastated. Not least because I predicted it. I saw the social media flirting. I asked him it was denied. Then I saw something which made it very clear and asked him straight. He admitted it had literally just started. I don’t quite believe his version of events.

Turns out I was never enough for him. Wasn’t love. Was never going to go anywhere - not for him. Too much history and baggage. Didn’t actually feel love for me. To be honest I don’t think that man knows what love actually is.

@damnmeifyouwish are you married?

Being a single person in an affair is a big ask. They have options and time and the married person has so little.

But his comments to you about it never being love are very cruel. Good riddance.

Nevermind affairs what about other people whose lives rely on secrecy like spies 😳

Yes married. He just said he couldn’t feel love. Tbh this is a theme in all his past relationships but after 15 years of is being in each other’s lives in one capacity or another I’d hope he’d have realised that love is more than just than heady feeling but all the other emotions he does feel for me.

He still wants my company. He wants my friendship. I just don’t think I can do that anymore as it keeps changes to more. I’m totally in love with than man and I know all the flaws.

I was coming close to leaving my husband before lockdown. Not because of him but because I felt my whole like was a lie and I could see what was lacking.

I now need to still do that. I’m going to try counselling too.

Any advice because I’m really struggling today as he continues to chat on messages despite my demotion to friend status.

Wants my company and thoughts.