Is this just too distasteful?

[4tplussome]

Before I'm jumped on I'm thinking yes it is

I'm late 40s . I don't look my age by any stretch but I am late forties none the less.

I'm single, and on some kind line dating sites .

Had a few dates - nothing special. I'm happy alone tbh .

On one site a very young man has been messaging me. Now I'm not stupid at all - I know he's probably on some top trumps competition for a cougar or something.....but he is very persistent and I actually feel a bit of a connection. I've had loads of young men message and I've dismissed them all . Except this one . He is younger than my kids and I'm thinking just no.....
Yet he seems very clear about what he wants and is quite refreshing. I've been chatting. I should block shouldn't I? I feel like I should be in some register somewhere just for talking to him....

What does he want ? Sex ?

Eewww

That sounds gross OP... younger than your kids?!!

I'm concerned that he's following you around. Are you familiar with the term catfishing?
I don't like to be so negative, but it's just possible that this is what's going on here - so maybe just keep blocking him.

@ThumbWitchesAbroad or maybe he's just registered in every site trying with every woman he says young and old to find someone willing to lay down with him. Its not hard when someone has so much time in their hands with a lockdown

It’s a fetish though. I am not sure I would ever want to be with someone fetishizing me.

Seems to have worked out ok for the current French president and his wife - she is about 25 years older than him. Granted, they didn't meet on a dating site.

@Eastie77 you think so ? You know that's not what most people think when they look at them ?

@TheStuffedPenguin - it's worked well for them, i.e. the couple, as they seem very happy and committed to each other. Their 'relationship' started when he was a teenager so it's fair to say it's stood the test of time.

What most people think of them is a seperate matter. Personally I supsect like most people I find their backstory extremely disturbing - a 40 something year old woman starting an affair with her teenaged student. On the rare occasion I've seen pictures of them together I cringe as they now very much look like mother and son as he still looks quite young for his age. It's difficult to imagine him as a man in his mid fifties married to a woman in her eighties

Strictly speaking the worst op could get is a crap shag

Not even close, the worst she could get is he tells the world, takes pics or videos without her noticing, screenshots her texts, and spreads it everywhere or tries to blackmail her that she goes after young lads on line and tried to get them to sleep with her.

There are many many worst cases here, that are wat beyond a shit shag.

She could also be being catfished,

Why not have fun?

Unclench some of you!!

Ffs OP isn't sagging him and is entitled to be flattered.

I'm early 40's. Happily married, look mid 30s. The amount of early 20s men interested?! I'm on fire 🤣 and I'm okay looking but a bit chubby

Why are some women so determined to bring other women down? OP isn't desperate, easy, gullible, about to get put on pornhub. She is a grown women who a young guy is attracted

Some of the misogyny here is very depressing and fucking rude.

When I was doing OLD at age 27 I'd get messages from 17 and 18 year olds. The idea of going there just doesn't appeal. I am now 32 and the thought of going with a 21 year old repulses me and I'd struggle to see the attraction, no matter how good looking they are. To most grown women a man so young wouldn't be sexually attractive.

Op, out of curiosity have any other men shown an interest? I can’t understand how or why you started even talking to this young guy, unless he was the only one? Most women at your age would simply have no thanks no closed if off or not even responsed.

@Bluntness100 is correct . When I was OLD I was very careful with people and would never have "had fun" other than my own place . So many weirdos out there .

@BreasticlesNotTesticles agreed. I’m a “hot 43 year old” (not my words) and get a lot of attention from young men. It’s flattering and if I were single I wouldn’t say no to a fling !!

I can't relate. I'm 32 and wouldn't even view the profile.

Standard MN policy on age gaps:

If you're a woman: Go for it!

If you're a man: Yuck...just yuck!

OP I'm 42 and on OLD - I get a lot of messages from younger men. I've dated a few. My cut off is 29. They are beautiful, I struggled to accept it at first but they like me.
I struggle getting to the point of dates with men nearer my age. It just doesn't work out, they are way less chatty.
Just decide what is right for you. Oh and as long as it's all single adult consent you can sleep with who you want.

Yes siring and also:

If you're a woman and fancy an older bloke, that's lovely, and probably very sensible.

If you're a woman and fancy a younger bloke, omg you sick desperate unnatural witch.

...

If you're a bloke and fancy a younger woman, that's perverted if she's in her 20s, maybe ok in her 30s if you're a nice man with money, and 40s up very decent of you and you must be a lovely guy.

If you're a bloke and fancy an older woman, that's a bit naughty and obviously never going to work out as a relationship but ok to train on as it were, just for a bit.

...

Meh I can't bring myself to get excited about anyone else's sex life as long as everyone is consenting and there's no abuse of power.

But biologically successfully speaking:

Woman fancies older guy - safe but might end up sorry on the kids front.

Woman fancies younger guy - much surer bet - green light! Go for it!

Man fancies younger woman - yes! Rack up as many as possible!

Man fancies older woman - give it all you've got if she's 40-48!!!!!! Then marry a 20 year old.

Same age - 👌

It's a bit icky. I'd judge a man dating someone younger than their kids too! You won't have much in common - I went back to uni in my late 30s and didn't have much in common with most of the 22 year old there

Sex yes. Dating no. If there is any concern you'd become emotionally involved don't do it

He seems very mature , up early, reads, nothing remotely sexual in any chat .

Someone asked if he was the only response I've had ....without sounding like I'm totally up my own arse I had over 500 messages in the first 3 weeks . I've been on about 5 dates. The one older man I dated was like an octopus and copped a feel whenever he could manage. The younger (I say younger loosely- as in younger than me but not in their 20s ) have been respectful and polite , but it's been me that's not wanted a second date. They all asked, just didn't feel it so didn't see any point .
I've had lots of messages from 20 somethings and 30 somethings. I'm not gullible, I won't be on porn hub anytime soon, and neither will I be conned .

He just seems to be genuinely interested. He said he knows he is young but he doesn't make a habit of talking to older women , he just like my photos and my profile . I've told him that even chatting I felt like I should be in a register somewhere....he doesn't seem put off , said it doesn't matter to him , I'm sure it would to anyone else though and that includes his parents ...I'm not on tinder or any "hook
Up" sites , because that's just not me . I'm too self conscious and reserved for a bit of "fun" but so far the conversations hadn't got dodgy. I do feel a bit weird about it and I kept saying that but he just keeps saying he is glad he was on the site and thinks I'm gorgeous. He hasn't pressed to meet or anything- maybe he just did like my profile . I don't know . He is the only fella in the 20s I've chatted to . The others that have messaged I've said thanks but no thanks . (And some of them have been gorgeous, maybe OLD isn't for me . Anyway, it's lockdown. Maybe that's why I entertained him for a bit longer - we can't meet !