Is this just too distasteful?

[4tplussome]

Before I'm jumped on I'm thinking yes it is

I'm late 40s . I don't look my age by any stretch but I am late forties none the less.

I'm single, and on some kind line dating sites .

Had a few dates - nothing special. I'm happy alone tbh .

On one site a very young man has been messaging me. Now I'm not stupid at all - I know he's probably on some top trumps competition for a cougar or something.....but he is very persistent and I actually feel a bit of a connection. I've had loads of young men message and I've dismissed them all . Except this one . He is younger than my kids and I'm thinking just no.....
Yet he seems very clear about what he wants and is quite refreshing. I've been chatting. I should block shouldn't I? I feel like I should be in some register somewhere just for talking to him....

I might be terribly naive but something about him said genuine from day 1. He's been more engaging, funny, sweet, interesting and eloquent than anyone I've chatted with . And he is also beautiful.

There is a lot of internalised misogyny on this thread OP, like you are lesser or will take advantage of the other person just because you are older. If you both have your eyes open, aren't "icked ", have an open mind.

And you sound lovely too. I'm glad your spirits are crushed by the nastiness on this thread x

Aren't .

Thanks hot

I'm actually a very instinctive person. Usually doesn't fail me . I'll approach with caution but an open mind .

He sounds like a cross between Little Lord Fauntleroy and a young Rolf Harris

I don't mean to be nasty at all. You're certainly unhealthily obsessed with A how young you think you look and B this young man though

Oh goodness. No I promise you I'm not obsessed with my looks - I was just very very self conscious about my age given the fella I've clicked with is so young .

We talked tonight for 2 hours. FaceTimed for an hour . I don't t care any more . !

And he is absolutely beautiful. I say that as someone who appreciates cheek bones ....☺️

He has made it perfectly clear he doesn't give a hoot about my age . He thinks I'm interesting and funny and we share so many interests in common that I aren't going to even worry any more . It will run a course and I think well actually be good for each other.

The world is not a liberal place when it comes to mothers and their sex lives - well MN isn’t anyway.

I plucked up the courage to talk to a couple of trusted colleagues and friend's.
They know I've been unhappy for so long. I thought there would be shock and outrage but every single person I've told has said go for it .
One asked - are you both adults?
Have you both got capacity?
Are you both single ?
If the answer is yes then if it makes you happy go for it .
Plus he really does sound, act and look older.

We talk regularly by face time . He is genuinely lovely and said he could not give a fig about age . The first message he ever sent was checking my age because he didn't buy it ....now I could say the same for him !
Whatever else he has done wonders for my self esteem which was pretty low. I still get messages from my ex which are sarcastic, arsey and treat me with disdain and contempt and he's a deaf balding 50 year old who lives with his mum .
So the 21 year old is actually coming out as much more mature.

Good for you. I'm glad it's improving this lockdown. Does the lad live at home?

Not usually he is in a shared house normally but over
Lockdown has gone home to family

He is white British but studies languages as well .
Left me a voicemail in his other language which sounds amazing as he thought it would brighten my working day.
I translated it . Absolutely beautiful message.

Have to say if he's just playing some milf bingo he's going to a hell of a lot of effort....

Now we talk in person he seems quiet , polite , well spoken, his messages are grammatically accurate for one so young ,

He is a very different breed of 20 something to what I've encountered before . In fact he's different to anyone of any age I've encountered. Just seems a genuinely, honest, open minded man who knows what he likes. He's had a few partners. Young women. Says none of them come close to how I make him feel . I'm actually worried about meeting now 😂.

^I'm out ok?

I've said we are no longer talking.

The end^

You changed your mind then ?

Everyone is so bored during lockdown 🤣

Yep. I changed my mind . I figured we are both single adults with capacity enough to make our own decisions.

I have a friend of 49 with a 24 year old. They are engaged.

I have another friend of 73 with a 50 year old husband.

Everyone has said stop dismissing him because of his age .

It's not lockdown 😂

He started messaging me months ago well before lockdown and when I said no he said thanks for letting him down gently....
But we chatted on and off .

He is absolutely serious about meeting. He wants to meet up as soon as lockdown is relaxed.

Ok, I do apologise

There was a tv show about this recently. "Gold digger". It turned out he had mum issues, but did actually like her , so ..🤷🏼‍♀️

While I hate to get in the way of true love, does it not bother you that he lives with his mummy and daddy?

How old are his mummy and daddy by the way?

Also with all due respect I don't really think you can compare a 50 yr old with a 21 yr old. I actually have no issue with age gaps, I have plenty of friends with large age gaps, it's more the fact that he's 21. 21!!!!!! It's just so so so so young. It's barely out of teenage territory

Ugh. You sound infatuated. Which I think ( since you asked) IS distasteful given your age difference. Yes you are both adults but that’s not a catch all excuse. Yuk.

This man is totally sorted .... no mum issues. No gold digging. Just found conversations with girls his age boring due to his interests.

I don't know that many 21 year old girls into obscure music, art, comedy and galleries.
He just loves to talk to me. And we swap ideas and he sends me his exam pieces, (which are amazing) we talk and laugh and have fun . That's been it ! He appears to think I'm something else and I feel pretty much the same. He wants to meet and he just wants to see where it takes us. Some things he said give me butterflies and I don't get that easily....I'm really not some silly delusional middle aged woman ripe for exploitation. And he isn't some lad playing milf bingo. You'll just have to take my word!

Mrsmummy

He doesn't live with mummy and daddy.....?
He lives in a shared house 300 miles away from mummy !

But ok you choose your own narrative !