Is this just too distasteful?

[4tplussome]

Before I'm jumped on I'm thinking yes it is

I'm late 40s . I don't look my age by any stretch but I am late forties none the less.

I'm single, and on some kind line dating sites .

Had a few dates - nothing special. I'm happy alone tbh .

On one site a very young man has been messaging me. Now I'm not stupid at all - I know he's probably on some top trumps competition for a cougar or something.....but he is very persistent and I actually feel a bit of a connection. I've had loads of young men message and I've dismissed them all . Except this one . He is younger than my kids and I'm thinking just no.....
Yet he seems very clear about what he wants and is quite refreshing. I've been chatting. I should block shouldn't I? I feel like I should be in some register somewhere just for talking to him....

Speak in person. What face 2 face, on phone, on Skype?

He is white British middle class so no visa issues. Blimey you are a load of cynics aren't you ?

Unfortunately the voice of experience.

I had someone try to use me for a visa once (I was working abroad). He wasn't actually younger but it is definitely ba thing that young blokes from.dine countries who want residence etc try to use a relationship with a woman they insultingly think will be more flattered by their attention.

OP - nobody cares that much. You're the one craving attention on here and keeping this thread going .

Yeah all on her own, other posters haven't been contributing at all.

Why are so many posters on this thread so determined to be so fkg nasty.

I'm sure he's just a British version of Christian Grey.

He was older than the heroine, was he not?

And he was ridiculously rich - which is the only reason Anastasia and all the readers put up with his blatantly stalky & abusive relationship "style". If he'd been poor she'd have reported him to the cops for stalking & harassment.

Yeah, but not by 27 years . But again, as I asked the OP, if this guy had done what he has, stalked her after she blocked him, and he was a toothless tattoo covered ex-convict living in a squat would she be so cavalier about his actions? Because seriously, that's dodgy AF to do and a red flag, IMO. I'd be cutting someone off who did and reporting them.

I'm out ok?

I've said we are no longer talking.

The end

@GilbertMarkham

Why are so many posters on this thread so determined to be so fkg nasty

I have been pondering this too. It's been so nasty on here today, really unnecessary. Some women cannot get a point across eloquently, they feel the need to degrade and insult and patronise.

Luckily OP doesn't seem too bothered

I'm now confused. Did the OP name change?

Sorry yeah it's me I name changed. Massive memory fail!

New name
Required!

I'm not going to come back to this thread tho now and feel it needs to die .....

New name ahoy . Thanks for the input . This threads done
It's job now tho thanks .

i take it the 1-1 wasn’t what you expected then.

Are you ok, OP? Nannabat seems a bit of a downer of a username.

What happened, how did we go from Sophie Ellis Bextor to Nannabat?

I hope you're OK, OP.

@nannabat can u now see the disadvantage in dragging on and bumping a pointless thread and not letting it die?

Ha...yes .

Bof it's what my brother used to affectionately call my gran . I'm not a nana. Or a bat. It was a family joke.

I name change after every thread .

Thanks again everyone. It helped .

Sorry for once posting having not RTFT and apologies if it's been said but Vivienne Westwood and her long marriage with an extremely devoted husband who is 3 years younger than her eldest son. If you bring up your kids properly, they understand relationships happen through a soul connection first of all. That's how straight people end up in same sex relationships sometimes without ever turning gay, the soul and spirit attraction is more important than the body/age/sex etc.

It could at least easily turn into friendship. I've had friends of both sexes both 18+ years older and younger than me, I have met very self assured and mature and kind and funny 18-19 year olds, I was one myself!

And as for being 35 and not considering a 21 year old as friend or dating material I can totally understand that, you are likely to be in the thick of it with the children at home etc, by the time you have kids who flew the nest both late 40s and early 20s are free birds and in a way she can have more opportunities to hang out with him than some late 30s guy with young children and parental responsibilities.

Also all the people who said it was sick she was talking to someone younger than her own children, what if she had children after 40, and her own kids now would be, say, 6 and 3, could she talk to the guy then?? Because he'd be way older than her children? What does the age of her children have to do with any of that? Would it be ok to date him if she was childless then?

So thought I'd just pop back and update .

He says the conversations with girls his age were vacuous and boring. We talk books and art and music and it's a genuine shared interest.
I've explained my reservations. He says I should just stop worrying. See where this takes us . We have agreed to meet after lockdown. I've decided to stop worrying. We are both adults. We have such a laugh over text and he is incredibly incredibly mature. He looks about 28 and I look about 33 so for now I'm going to stop worrying about anything else and just enjoy our chats . He has made it very clear he doesn't give a monkeys about my age and enjoys talking to me . He is more refreshing, funny, engaging and interesting than anyone I've talked to in 6 months of being online . He isn't cat fishing . He isn't playing milf bingo. We just have shared interests, and enjoy talking. We chat daily . He wants to just carry on and see what happens. He is genuinely a nice , interesting, funny , engaging, mature person who happens to be young in years . Time to stop the guilt and just enjoy. It feels like it should be wrong but it doesn't feel wrong at all. So thank you to those who were supportive. No laws are being broken. We're just happy to chat . I'm not daft . No illusions.

We've been doing art challenges every day....recreating a famous painting using what ever is to hand it's been so much fun. I am fully prepared for disapproval. But he aid tonight he really doesn't care about our ages . And I believe him.

I'm glad you are enjoying his company OP

Good. Have a good time op. Forget the nay sayers.

Do you do zoom calls? Or just text.

Have you seen him on video?

Yes . FaceTime.

Well that's a huge step then, at least you can confirm he is indeed who he says he is.