Am I naive and stupid to get involved with someone who is an alcoholic?

[PurpleLondon]

I've been seeing a guy for about 5/6 months now. We get on really well and have both developed deep feelings. However it has become apparent that he has a serious problem with alcohol. Drinking about 5/6 large bottles of beer almost daily. (He admitted this to me). I know he has been drinking every day this week. This has been going on for years apparently with the severity changing according to his mood and life situation. He is also mentally unstable and has some mental health issues.
There are times when I've met up with him and he's been completely out of it. I've spoken to him about this at length and he always says he wants to change but the next day he is back drinking.
Should I just end things whilst it's still early days? I have two DC and really wouldn't want to subject them to this in the long run. I have no experience of being with an alcoholic. Part of me is hoping he will change.

Should I just end things whilst it's still early days?

In a word,YES.

Yes
Surely you're not that desperate?!
Other cock is available...

Don’t do it to yourself or your kids. You’re worth more than that and you know it.

You are crazy to saddle yourself with this nightmare. Please think about what's best for your children, and their mother being with an alcoholic is not it. Give your head a serious wobble.

Get the hell out of it now. I promise you this will not end in a happy ever after situation. Speaking from experience here. He needs to help himself- solo. You cannot do that for him, nor can you be a crutch. And you will become one.

Think about whether you want to live with an alcoholic. Think about whether you want your kids living with an alcoholic.

If the answers to either/both of these questions is no, then run like the wind. Otherwise this is where you could end up.

Yes. If you don't have enough self-respect to end it for yourself, don't expose children to this.

Yes.
Why would you do this to your children?

We get on really well and have both developed deep feelings.

You’ve developed deep feelings. He’s been permanently pissed. “You’re my besht mate you are” is not deep feelings.

Yes to your headline question.
He's in a relationship already with alcohol. You can't compete.
Don't even try.

Do you really need to ask? Come on, you’re a fully grown woman responsible for two children.

He’ll never change for you, no matter how much you put into it, you can never do enough to fix him. You aren’t enough, nobody ever will be, unless he decides to fix himself. Spoiler alert; most of them don’t.

Don't do that to your children.

My brother in law is an alcoholic. It's life ruining - his and everyone around him. Don't do it. You'd be setting you and your children up for years of pain and misery.

OP dont take things any further,for their sake as well as theirs.

I'm a recovering alcoholic and had 2 relatively long term (under 2 years) relationships while I was drinking. The first one wasn't too bad, but the second was in the midst of my lowest point and the things I did still haunt me. I hurt him so much and he was so in love with me but even though I cared for him I just...didn't care. I wasn't there. You'll never be first.

In time, hopefully, he'll get the help he needs on his own but please please do not get involved. Please don't try to change them or save them, it doesn't work like that.

He won’t change. Why would he? You know Bryan alcoholic with poor mental health and yet you actively went into a relationship. He has no desire to change, and no need to change. Are you aware of your own role in this? Does parenting not fulfil the need to be needed for you?
My very damaged alcoholic friend is a lovely person. She is also a fucking nightmare and destroys lives, including that if her own child. Why would you actively seek to involve yourself with a person who is very likely to destroy your life and that of your children?
What on earth makes him special enough for you to sacrifice yourself and your kids on his pyre?

Lol at Bryan. No idea what he’s got to do with it.

Not necessarily I know someone who may not have been an alcoholic but was a heavy drinker he has been sober for 10 years. But don,t think you can change the situation.

I'm with all the others. Please don't do it - all it will do is waste precious energy and time that could, and should, be invested in yourself and your DC's. Nothing good will come of it, you can't save him, only he can do that. You already know the answer to this, or you wouldn't be asking the question. Alcohol and addiction destroys lives, don't let that happen to you and especially not your DC's who have no say in the matter. You are better than that.

He will never love you. Leave

And please listen to SouthsideOwl''s very brave post.

Put your children first, they are your priority, don't expose them to this. Your time, effort and love should go to your children and not to a grown adult who won't take responsibility

I wrote a post about finishing it, a wake up call and giving it time before resuming. You have dc so I deleted it. Why would you bring that into their lives?

Please don’t drag your children into this shit show.

An alcoholic with MH problems, aye that sounds ideal to bring into your kids lives.
Seriously, get a grip and put your kids first not your infatuation with this fool.

Don't do this. He already has his lover - the booze - and you will ALWAYS come a very poor second. Your kids won't even feature.

Walk away now while you can. Otherwise you'll have a life of utter wretched misery. Not to mention your kids

If you were on your own, you could pour all your energy into this man and waste your life as you please.

But you have children and you've no business bringing an alcoholic with MH issues into their lives. Stop thinking with your vag and/or romantic guff and focus on protecting them and giving them a stable upbringing.

Do you have a saviour complex? What's your history with relationships?