I've been with my ex partner for 14 years. We are both in our mid 30s. In my 5th year of studies my mental health deteriorated and I was diagnosed with C-PTSD. As a result my boyfriend suggested I should take a part time job and he will work full time and support us so I can get better. He got a good job in the field whilst still.at uni. That was 5 years ago. Soon I took over EVERYTHING to do with the house: looking after the dog, bills, dealing with any problems with bills/agency, shopping, cooking, cleaning, even making him sandwiches for work and preparing his clothes so he would save time in the morning (I know, I was an idiot), organising trips and holidays and his only task was to go to work. I would help him prepare for job interviews, help with any issues he had at work, listened to his detailed daily reports about his work and his colleagues, edit his job applications even wrote 30 pages long PhD proposal application form. I was so invested in making him succeed I completely forgot about myself. We had money together and access to each other bank account. He left dealing with financial side of things to me, too. Success at work changed him. He start pointing it out that I'm not giving him anything back for his financial support. 3 years ago I started to get better mentally. I started to question our arrangement. When I said that I'm worried that I'll be left with nothing when we break up he kept saying that all I have to do is to be nice to him and I'll be sorted for the rest of my life. Due to my C-PTSD our sex life was patchy at best. He was getting frustrated with me. Last year I decided to start masters in a subject that will bring me a very good career prospects. I was mentally better and I wanted us as a household to rely on my ex less. After the first semester, mid January he broke up with me. We had issues for the last year. Our communicstion was non existent. I wanted to try therapy as we still loved each other by this point and i didn't want to give up without trying. Unfortunately he didn't want that. He was unhappy and wanted out. After three weeks he hooked up with his new co-worker, not just seeing each other; full blown relationship after just two dates. We were still living together and he would bring her over for dates when I was at work. In the same time he promised to help me out financially throughout uni. My masters deadline is in August. He gets a very good wage by this point and was getting another wage rise. His promise was based on the fact that over the length of the whole relationship I supported his career and he wanted to give sth back to me. He kept saying that I'm still important to him as a person and he will always care about me and be my friend. He moved out at the beginning of March. Our farewell was heartfelt. He was crying uncontrollably and cuddling me and promising we will always be friends. That he still have feeling for me and cares about me so he doesn't want to see me worse off. He came back 1.5 week later to collect some of his stuff and said that he's happy to see me. He offered that he will increase the amount of money he's giving me, unprompted as he just got a wage rise. Then 6 days later he phoned me and started to shout that why is he supposed to support his ex. He said that it's causing some serious trouble in his new relationship. While on the phone i could hear his new gf huffing and puffing in the background. Then he just stopped answering his phone. Our dog got very ill. I had to go through his mum cause he switched off his phone. I wanted him to cover the upcoming vet bill cause I paid for the four previous visits. I also wanted to know what's happening with his promise since he didn't actually said anything about changing his mind. He replied that he doesn't want to support me anymore. That I'm an adult and I supposed to take care of myself and that i should sought out other friends. Then he switched off his phone and later blocked me everywhere even though I didn't try to contact him pass the first day when I got the news. This happened during a lockdown, when I had 4 essays to hand in. Without his help I couldn't afford the rent. He left me with 700 pounds to my name and a sick dog who he apparently loves although not even once asked about him. I trusted that guy with my life. I was so hurt and felt betrayed and discarded like an used item. And all during a pandemic. I also accidentally learned that his family who was my family for so long was talking bad about me. Not even once any of them contacted me to ask how am I doing? Now three weeks later his mum is ringing me out of the blue and messaging on Facebook. I have this ad on installed that lets you read messages without the other person knowing you read them. My ex wants his certificates back. He had two months to pack yet on the last day he started doing it an hour before his lift supposed to arrive and asked me for help! Hes unpacked crap is all over the placs including boxes in the storage room. Whole 14 years of it that I'm expected to pack for him??? His mum wants me to send the certificates to her. She even gave me transferred money to my account do so and asked to let her know when I'll do it.(!) They also want to collect his stuff after a lockdown. She also asked about me and the dog but I know they don't really care. So I don't want anyone to judge me on my life choices and I don't want debates whether my ex had a moral obligations to help me or not. He gave me his word and I trusted him. His family new he did that yet thought it acceptable to back track like that. If he didn't promise me his help ill have more time to sort myself out before my final weeks at uni. My own family is poor and lives in another country but managed to pull together to help me out this month. That's not important.
What I want to ask...after how they treated me I don't feel like talking to any of them. I feel further humiliated that my ex is sending his mum to deal with his stuff. Cowardly and childish. Additionally, every time I "hear" anything from him (discovering that he blocked me, that he went behind my back to our letting agency etc) I get panic attack and my ibs flares up. I dread another humiliation. I still have loads of uni work so I won't have the time to search for his stuff around the house. I feel it's bold to debase and screw your ex like that and then expect her to help you? (I'd be homeless next month during a pandemic if it wasn't for my family!) So far I don't feel like answering the calls at all. I need to focus on uni. Btw, he's staying with his new squeeze in another city atm. The change of attitude towards me correlated with him moving to hers. I am enraged that they have a cheek to ask me for help like nothing ever happened. What do you gals think? I'll send his shit to him at the beginning of May when I'll be done with uni.