He doesn't like talking on the phone?

[SadSausage44]

Hi everyone any opinions/input please?

I'm currently in lockdown a couple of hundred miles away from a man I've been dating for approximately 6 months. Met on tinder and have fallen head over heels for each other. He has 3 children with his ex so we were seeing each other every other weekend and a day or so during the week. My daughter is grown and doing her own thing.
His kids/ex don't know about me yet, which is fine by me, he always said it would be at least 6 months before he even thought about introducing a new partner to his children, so meeting the children was something that would probably have been begun to be discussed around now if the bloody virus hadn't happened.

Anyway, from the start, he's never been one for talking on the phone. Lots of texts, but general chit chat, calling and chatting on the phone, from the start, never really happened. That was fine with me because we were seeing each other regularly.
So, because of his childcare arrangements and social distancing and then me coming to my family home a few weeks ago as I couldn't cope with lockdown on my own, I haven't seen him for about a month now.

I have spoken to him twice in over 2 weeks, once at my instigation as in I said 'fancy a chat later babes' which was fine and then about a week later I just called him as I knew he was home alone, not with kids etc.
He was a bit off on the phone, I didn't realise he'd just made his dinner and had been on phone all day for work. I texted him after a slightly awkward call saying hey, felt a bit awkward, don't want to feel like I'm hassling you,but I did, we haven't spoken for 6 days, if you'd rather not chat on the phone because you're tired etc just let me know.
His job at the mo consists of talking on the phone all day every day, so I get it if he doesn't want to chat all the time but.... not at all?
I will usually wake up to a lovely good morning text and the text throughout the day, lots and lots of serious sexting, chat, zero calls.
I miss his voice, he knows I'd like to chat more. I'm certainly not going to demand he calls me if he doesn't want to.
Does anyone have experience of being with someone who is massively affectionate and lovely in person but just shit on the phone?
I feel like we need to hear each other's voices occasionally to get through being apart from each other for so long.
I have to add he's my first relationship after a 15 year marriage breakdown where exhtb cheated on me and blew my whole world apart a year ago so I'm perhaps a bit over sensitive and I'm definitely a bit scared of getting hurt again.
Thanks for reading everyone, I'd love to know what people think!!!

Thanks IntrovertBn that's a great post. There are always two sides and two perspectives. I think it's important for you Sausage to be able to say how you feel and not feel guilty about it or have to justify it, and then it's over to him to respond. This may be the first test your relationship has had, and it was always going to come along at some point.

Please remember also, we are all living in a stressful, heightened new world, and it is effecting us all in ways we would never have imagined. You are maybe learning new things about yourself here too.

Essentially you need a matching communication pattern in a relationship x

I am a communicator and I am feeling sad that he doesn't want to talk to me. I'm not asking him to change, I'm asking him to meet me not even half way. He seems to have no problem chatting with his kids, mum and mates on facetime etc....
I won't make a drama about it, I definitely won't discuss it with him whilst we are far apart. It'll be fine if I accept that he doesn't want to chat with me.
I just feel like I'm the one making all the compromises here!

He's incredibly self sufficient too. This is absolutely not a problem at all but I had the most demanding, needy husband for years and we spoke on the phone constantly. I need to relearn how to be with someone new and very very different.

Feels like the same situation, I've gone from being with someone for many many years who needed 'saving' and I mothered them. I went for the opposite this time, someone who is self-sufficient, and who isn't used to being in a relationship either.

Toucancancan we are living parallel lives!!!

@saraclara Er, I think it is clear that I was saying that there needed to be compromise, and he is incapable of it, as the OPs further posts have shown. He ignores invitations he doesn't want to go to, instead of saying he'll give it a miss. He is quite happy to facetime kids, and everyone else.

The suggestion of compromise, so that he occasionally call or facetime her to make her happy is clearly ludicrous to you. OP is settling for low contact, and he is getting to breadcrumb her, but hey, at least she isn't being overly demanding of the timid forest creature.

I used to go away for long periods with the military. I always hated phoning home. Very happy to write every day, but just not comfortable phoning. In fact if the kids hadn't been young I probably never would have phoned.