I think it's all very well and good, and makes us feel better to rationalise someone as the "bad guy", 'has issues and hey, while we're at it, that person is a monster too' just so we don't feel like shit about the situation.
I see nothing here that you've written to make him whatever is being insinuated that he is. Your earlier defence of him seems to be going out the window one post at a time, understandably so you feel better about this situation.
Whatever makes you feel great...but hey, you're not a bad person, he's not a bad person. You have some differences and those differences are a big deal FOR YOU (as you're having to find out - how else do we get to know if something will work or not?) and doesn't seem like something you can handle. Someone else could find this particular quality exactly what they need in a man and understand his "avoidance" as perhaps being a bit cowardly and not wanting to hurt your feelings or something.
There's a reason why people can't seem to say No to someone's face or directly. It happens. It doesn't make them terrible.
So let's refrain from the usual "I wish I could change someone so they fit me better, I wish they would change for me or do what I want them to do, otherwise, I'll say they have issues and are selfish" trope and just call a spade a spade.
What do you do when something isnt working for you? That's what your question should be now. It sounds like you don't want to let go..understandable. You've invested some time and you have history that you still probably need to heal from.
But dont hold on to what isn't working till you find a way to justify it (in this case, making him out to be everything but himself).
One could see it the other way easily. One could say you are this or that just for being the sociable, extrovert person you are who NEEDS social contact, chat on the phone, etc. No, as usual that is "normal" and everything else is weird, strange, something to be wary of. SMH
You've mentioned letting him make the effort. That's a great plan. I remember writing this earlier to you. Just step back, if he really wants to, he will push himself to 'come to you' and meet you at the point you are. That's his prerogative though. Not doing so doesnt make him a bad person. It just means he's who he is and he's showing it to you. You're who you are and showing it to him. If THAT doesn't work for you, save yourself the story rehashing and move on.
It's not easy to just move on, I know but making it what it isn't, especially knowing this is a typical reaction to introverts/introversion, just pisses me right off.
TDLR: There's nought wrong with him. Theres nothing wrong wih you either. You both are different. What you see now and what you saw pre COVID is all him. Does all of him work for you or not ? That's the question.