Can I leave 'D'H to go to my parents?

[lovemenomore]

Hi all,

I need to leave my abusive husband and go to my parents with our DD?

He's more mentally abusive and emotional than physical - although he was last year. He's a very heavy drinker and he is insanely jealous and controlling.

It's a very long story to tell all on here but I need to go.

Can I go to my parents - would that be allowed considering Covid etc?!

Well done Op. sorry your Mum let you down. You have been here before . There will be lots of promises right. Ow to get you back where he wants you.

I would also not be taking calls from your mum right now . Let your sister speak to her.

I'm so glad you're safe.

Don't ever, ever forget this from your parents- they would have left you and their grandchild at risk, to make their lives slightly easier. Don't let them near your child - she does not need a 'grandparent' like that.

I hope your sister can support you and understand that your parents now need to be distant contacts only, and no longer allowed into a position where they are a consideration in your life.

So your parents have seen him grab at your DD previously when you were trying to leave and they are on his side now that you have left him a second time?
Christ alive OP. Well done to you for not letting this get in your way of leaving and for standing your ground.

Best of luck

Wow! Your Mum is an apologist!

Please speak to Women's Aid. Also, if he begins harassing you, contact NCDV. They can arrange for an emergency Non Mol injunction to be created to keep him away from you.

Have you heard from him at all? @lovemenomore

Your faux "mother" needs to STFU and be prepared to receive zero assistance if she gets ill in the future or ever see your DD again

Oh my god. I can't believe your mum! That's unforgivable.

Oh my god. I can't believe your mum! That's unforgivable.

Stay strong and don’t under any circumstances go back. I’m sure you’ll end up with all kinds of apologies but remember they will be empty words. You’ve done the hardest part, now stick with it and build your life with your daughter ❤️

So disappointed in your mother, what an appalling attitude. Take it as a good lesson in how NOT to treat your daughter and do not ask her for any form of support, she is not acting like any kind of mother!

Well done on getting out, I hope you feel the weight lifting from your shoulders, please stay strong

Well done OP... your Mum's attitude stinks. Can you speak to the local council the housing etc?

Thinking of you both xxx

Well done for getting out.

Don’t go back. Talk to WA, local housing associations etc.

Is your house rented or mortgaged? If Social Housing you may be able to get him out for abuse.

Sorry your Mum let you down so badly: quite shocking. Does she have a history of being in an abusive relationship / living with an alcoholic?

Keep your strength, OP.

So much better short and long term to have your Dd out of that environment.

Wow at your mum's attitude. So so glad you got out of there OP, well done that must have been hard. Good on your sister having more sense! Crowded is better than unsafe, don't go back. See if you can get into a refuge, stay strong.

So glad you are out safely.
So sorry your mum isn't supportive.
Please never go back to him.

Apply to the local authority when they open tomorrow. You are a priority - it may be temp accommodation initially, but it's better than staying with your husband. Don't tell anyone where you are, esp your parents. If he comes to your sisters, just call the police & let them deal with him. The likelihood is that he'll be over the limit anyway. So sorry for the lack of support from your parents 😕 Stay safe.

Op you are very brave in getting away. I'm so sorry about your mother.

So glad you're both safe. A very difficult but very right decision to make. Appalled and saddened with your mum's behaviour to you - her daughter and her granddaughter. Happy Easter - a new beginning for both of you.

lovemenomore I'm so glad you are out and safe. Well done for being so brave and doing the best for your dd.

You M is appalling I'm so sorry she's let you down. Its unforgivable.
Thank goodness for your sister.
Stay strong and safe

Well done Op for leaving. Your parents are a disgrace for the way that they have treated you. You are doing the best thing for you and your daughter. Thank God that you have your sister for support.

Do not allow him to convince you to go back.

Well done OP. You've definitely done the right thing. Good luck, stay strong & resolute.

His side of the story??? Fucking hell! There are no sides!

I’m sorry @lovemenomore I know you were relying on them. That must have felt like the rug was pulled from under you.

But you should be even more proud of yourself that you got out anyway.

Sounds like your mum is cut from the same cloth as your ex. Probably why you ended up dating someone like him in the first place. If someone called my daughter a slag he'd have me to deal with! And there isnt a thing he could say to excuse it.

You are awesome op. Dont let anyone convince you to go back to him. Dont be slow to call the police if he comes round there. See a solicitor for advice as soon as pos. Womens aid and books/youtube videos on narcissists might help. Melanie tonia Evans on youtube is good.

Goodness me, I'm so sorry your parents let you down so badly. Thank goodness you have your sister. Well done for going through with it - you are stronger than you think. Now stay strong and stay away. FWIW I think you should cut - or significantly reduce - contact with your parents for a while.

Theres also a book called 'no more narcissists' by candace love. I think it might be of particular use as it has some focus on how you may have been trained from a young age to accept these sorts in your life (eg: if your mum is similar or also has been a victim of shitty men).

Thank you to everyone who's posted and said lovely things. It means a lot.

I've just crawled into bed, DD asleep next to me.

My dad has been messaging asking for info. I replied surely you got that when you called H.

Ex H has been messaging all day saying I'm putting DD life at risk moving her and that it's all me and I just can't be happy with him. I explained him going out the house every day for the last 3 weeks to but boxes of wine was more of a risk than my once a week for food shopping.

Anyway, to the poster who asked what have o done today without feeling guilty/scared wouldn't normally do - I went out without having to check if ok and justify and have been on my phone without someone looking over my shoulder....and just felt.......FREE.