In a state of shock

[MarshaLives]

I have been with my partner for two years and we were after the 1 year mark actively trying for a baby (we were both 34 when we met.) Fast forward to the coronovirus, we have had no luck trying for our baby so far and decided to put a halt on it whilst things are as they are. When quarantine came in my partner seemed to be kicking his feet about staying in (we live together.) He said it was because he felt it was an overblown reaction and he felt trapped but I could tell there was something else to it.

Well turns out he has secretly been seeing someone else for almost the whole duration of our relationship, not only did she fall pregnant but she has had their son. My partner confessed this to me and promptly moved in with her to quarantine. They have been making homemade dinners together, going for long car rides with their son and walks in nature according to FB.

I am absolutely in a state of shock. I feel like I can't breathe. My life has literally been turned inside out over night. We were trying to start our own family and now he has a family with her and they seem so happy. I don't know what to do anymore. I am quarantining alone in my home and don't even really care if I got sick and died at this point.

I doubt he will stay 'loving'. He cheated on you so he will cheat on her. I doubt he is a loving dad. He will look for 'fresh meat' soon enough.

It might not seem like it now, but you had a very lucky escape!

Oh my god I literally can't believe what I have read . I know what your going through . And I woundnt wish it on anyone . I was with my ex for ten years we had one daughter and started trying for another baby when she was 4 . I got or pregnant we were both so excited . Christmas was coming and we had just moved house . I started to paint the baby's bedroom and he said he was off out for a few hours butwouldn't be long because we were going to have a nice meal together and a film . That was at 4 on I didn't see him until 9 am the following morning . He done it again on Xmas eve . Surprisingly we had a really good Xmas ! God knows how . Boxing Day was lovely too until I had the phone call off my best friend to say she's really sorry but her boyfriend had walked in a room in a house party to find my partner shagging this other women . Also as I asked around he has been openly cheating in the pub with her sat on his lap kissing each other . I lost it stormed down stairs and as soon as he seen me he was like OMG what's wrong are you ok . Then was telling me to calm down because it will affect the baby 😂! He said it was a big mistake. I took him back went to an appointment in the hospital to find out that he had given my chlamydia. He then flipped saying I had given it to him . I had only ever slept with him at this point . Again he apologised said it must of been from that girl . Then one day I was out shopping his best friend came on to me and said that he thought I should know that he has slept with numerous girls behind my back even right at the start . Even one year Christmas Day when I was pregnant with my daughter . I left him and it was the hardest thing ever . I was so depressed for over two years missed him like hell . He was all I ever knew and I was with him from a teenager . But you will get over this even tho right now you think that you won't . I know your hurt is so much more than mine from what you have mentioned but trust me it's going to take you a long time but you will notice little steps That will show your Getting better. And guess what who on earth would want a guy like him . Garantee you he's cheat on her too . And the people
Who post their perfect lives on Facebook are always the ones that ain't happy at all just trying to prove to them selves and everyone else that they are x

It's sad that too many women like the one with the baby, put up with substandard men. Desperation and a fear of loneliness are among the reasons.

You're a million times better off without him.

Can I ask, did you meet his friends, family? Do they know about all this?

Watch this video I feel like you might relate xxxxxx

I really hope this is you at the end of this. He's a twat. You are better off.

This is horrendous I know, I've been through it. Mine had his child in the January and we got married in the August...he'd managed to keep it from me. Of course all his friends and family knew and I found out on fbk.
Unfortunately the pain and anger will go on for a long time, but it will eventually get better though even after several years In still hoping mine gets eaten by lions (he lives in a country where they live).
What did cheer me up was his girlfriend dumping him and apologising to me and asking for forgiveness. She didn't have to, after all she had it turns out been seeing him for a lot longer than we had been together but it did help.
Remember, small steps, take time to cry, scream, stamp your feet, stick pins in a voodoo doll but you will get through it.

What a complete cock. The OW has actually drawn the short straw by having a baby with him. She will live her time on edge knowing he was living with someone else the whole of her pregnancy. She cant trust him surely.
Although it may not feel like it right now but you have had the luckiest of escapes.
He will be back but just make sure you kick his are into next week and the week after. Imagine the rest of your life with a knob cheese like him!

she is actually a complete deluded selfish fool to have a baby with this man. How can she think that he will make a good father? Maybe she thought it would mean that he chose her and not you. but it's an empty "victory" . Poor child.

My sympathies. But further down the line you will be glad to have got rid of him. I spent 20 years married to a man who spent the last at least 5 maybe 10 years leading a double life with an OW. He's isolating with her in a small flat. She's fecking welcome to him. You will get through this and move on.

He is really a horrible individual. To be honest she thinks she won now but in reality they are both losers. She knew about you and still got pregnant with him yet he still lived with you until now. Of course they are going to put up happy photo's on FB.

She is stuck with him now. When the novelty wear off and real life takes over he will get board and cheat on her or she might cheat on him.
Meanwhile after a bit of time to get over this you can meet someone decent and have a great life.

I watched a friend of mine going through something similar to you a few years ago. She a lovely, decent and loyal woman. The man she was seeing had his own house with no mortgage, a decent job and money. She thought their relationship was going somewhere but he was just using her until he meet what he regarded as better came along.
He then let a mutual friend tell my friend that X (him) had a new girlfriend.

Within a few months his new girlfriend was pregnant and my friend had to see the happy FB photos.

Now a few years later my friend found out recently that his relationship with the mother of his child is not good. She also found out that he has several health issues. She showed me a recent photo of him and he must be a good 10 stone overweight.
My friend said it was hard at the time to deal with what happened but she now realises that she had a lucky escape.

Ugrh, what a prick.

I'm sure it must feel awful now but you're well rid, you deserve someone leaps and bounds better than him.

As for the OW, what self respecting person would knowingly sleep with and have a child with a man already in a relationship? And then welcome him with open arms when he decides to come play families, pathetic.

I’m quite happy that you discovered the real him before marriage/kids together.

It’s like he was having a race with who would get pregnant first, so fucking weird

You’ll still get everything you want in life, just not with him! Which is such a good thing because it seems like your entire relationship was built on lies, all the good moments were just a facade.

She hasn’t “won” anything.

I know and can identify with how dark you are feeling.

I was very badly deceived by someone in a similar, though not identical, manner and I am blown away with the ease with which he told so many and the severity of his lies.

It makes you feel that if it happened to you, you must be worth less than her because he decided it was okay to do it to you. It does such extreme damage.

If you want to PM feel free if you want someone to talk to.

In fact it sounds like her self esteem non existent, her standards/bar is set so low

OP this sums it up

m.youtube.com/watch?v=Avtj8tdpr5Y

What a twat, coward of a man!

Take some time for yourself and let karma do it's job.

The mother of his child will always look over her shoulder knowing what he did to you might happen to her! I don't think there will ever be 100% trust between them 2. If it's anything like the cases I know , she will end up leaving him 🤷🏻‍♀️
You deserve so much better 💐