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Original poster

A question for dads of split families

45 replies

Todayisanewday75 · 27/03/2020 17:09

Would you refuse to see you child for the foreseeable future because of Coronavirus if neither household had any symptoms and all adults working from home?

OP posts:
PositiveVibez · 27/03/2020 17:11

No. And govt guidelines says a child under 18 that splits their time between parents, can still do so.

Unless the dad has symptoms, he's using it as an excuse not to see his child.

BubblesBuddy · 27/03/2020 17:13

Not many dads on here I would have thought! If no symptoms, then they could meet but is it essential? I think travelling to meet might not be acceptable. Walking to another house might be ok. I would say that parents should agree visits and work something out remotely for DC to keep in touch.

Original poster
Todayisanewday75 · 27/03/2020 17:22

DC always picked up by car by our house anyway

OP posts:
Original poster
Todayisanewday75 · 27/03/2020 17:23

Definitely no symptoms but a week ago was in contact with someone who then thought they might have symptoms

OP posts:
DebbieDoItAll · 27/03/2020 17:40

My brother hasn't seen his daughter for 3 weeks but would love to. He has contact at anytime via facetime. It is a 7 hour round trip but he sofa surfs whilst visiting his daughter but all agree the journey is not essential for a few weeks.

Original poster
Todayisanewday75 · 27/03/2020 17:42

I can understand that but this is a 15 minute journey

OP posts:
Bookworm83 · 27/03/2020 17:46

My husband hasn't seen his daughter for over a week and still has a few days to go due to 14-days quarantine (I've been having symptoms).
As soon as the 14 days are up he will be seeing her.

devildeepbluesea · 27/03/2020 17:47

ExDH wouldn't in a trillion years. We've even discussed my moving into his if necessary. Thankfully it's not!

WakeAndBake · 27/03/2020 17:48

Split dad here. We are not doing the midweek visit so it is every other week for 5 days. Less back and forth seems sensible although we live very close by.

I think a lot of people are using the virus as an excuse for a lot of things!

NerdyBird · 27/03/2020 17:52

my stepdc are due to see their mum as usual. It's allowed and we have no symptoms her

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/03/2020 18:44

Just dropped DD off at her dads. We talked about it earlier in the week and despite him being a monumental prick in almost every other way, we did agree on this. We are both taking isolation/distancing seriously, and as long as no one is showing any symptoms we shall continue to do so.

I agree that it sounds like an excuse.

As an aside, how fucking HILARIOUS that all the bastards who lied about their self employed income in order to avoid paying child support will only get 80% of what they declared? :o:o

It took a while but what goes around comes around........

chunkycucumber · 27/03/2020 19:02

My ex is refusing to see DC even though all adults working from home etc.

anotherdisaster · 27/03/2020 19:02

There is no reason at all. The government guidelines have been clear that children are allowed to move between the homes of separated parents. Obviously you have to make a personal call if there are other factors involved i.e. one parent or child is high risk.
My ex lives with his mother and he's using that as excuse not to have the kids. Doesn't stop him going out to work then sitting with her. My kids are housebound and not in contact with anyone.
Sadly some men will definitely use it as an excuse.
Maybe remind him he will have to pay more maintenance if he's not having them.

SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 27/03/2020 19:06

If you've been in contact with someone with symptoms you need to isolate for 14 days

Harriett123 · 27/03/2020 19:16

We will be seeing my stepson the same amount of time we would normally have him ( days slightly altered to minimise number of handivers). I got slattery for saying this on another chats. Plenty of people seem to be using it as an excuse to withhold contact.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/stepparenting/3854839-Are-you-still-keeping-normal-contact-with-DSC

edwinbear · 27/03/2020 19:37

DP is taking his DD for an extra day each week to facilitate his ex continuing in her role as a key worker. He’s absolutely delighted with the extra time Grin

Poshishchap · 27/03/2020 20:37

Dad here, government guidelines pretty clear. We're sharing 50/50 whilst Ex and me are both now WFH. Many are seeing this as an excuse to refuse contact. Has been easier for us as both live in same town.

TheStuffedPenguin · 27/03/2020 20:45

If everyone in BOTH households is NOT going out then it's OK .If this is not the case then health issues in both houses have to be taken into consideration . eg my H has health issues as do I and we are not seeing his older children as they have been out and about . Until they all satisfy the 14 days it is a no from us .

SybilWrites · 27/03/2020 20:53

my ex is also refusing to see the dc. None of us (me and dc) have symptoms. he's an arse.

RLEOM · 27/03/2020 21:03

My ex and I are on the fence. He fully understands the risks and doesn't want to put that upon me, and I don't want our home to be contaminated as I live with a 65-year-old. He's working, I'm not. If he wasn't working and he'd genuinely self isolated for 2 weeks (his gf works for the NHS), I'd let him see her. But he's also a compulsive liar, so... 🤷‍♀️

This isn't a usual occurrence and is very dangerous, so I think no contact for the next few months for the sake of life or death of thousands of people shouldn't be a problem for anyone. This isn't about people's feelings, this is about life or death - people's lives are in your hands. Literally. I don't care who gets upset by it if it means less people die.

agentdaisy · 27/03/2020 21:11

Dh isn't seeing dsd while this is going on, but at almost 18 with a job and boyfriend we rarely see her her for more than a few hours at the weekend anyway.

Dh and dsd decided on no face to face contact until the pandemic is over because her 4 year old brother at her mum's house has severe asthma and Dh is a keyworker so is still going out to work every day.

If dsd were younger and her little brother didn't have asthma then we'd probably be sticking to usual contact arrangements as long as no one in either household had symptoms or been in contact with someone with a confirmed case of covid.

chunkycucumber · 27/03/2020 21:15

@SybilWrites What excuse did your ex give?

CaptainCarp · 27/03/2020 21:19

Not seeing DC for the weekend. DCs mum is pregnant and I'm still having to go to work. Also colleague is isolating due to family member displaying symptoms. I wasn't willing to risk DC or DCs mum catching it. Hopefully I'll be able to see them in 2 weeks, as long as I don't display any symptoms.

SybilWrites · 27/03/2020 21:24

@chunkycucumber his girlfriend's asthma

Mind you, she's not ever allowed the kids in the house in the 5 years they've lived together, and she also posted on my local nextdoor.co.uk about her search in central London looking for eggs. So it's all bollocks.

he's told me i'm on my own - while working from home, and even if I get it. Bastard.

chunkycucumber · 27/03/2020 21:30

@SybilWrites Ah ok. Mine told me 'it's just for the best'. Meanwhile he's sat at home on his bum doing nothing for 3 months, fully paid, whilst I'm trying to work from home full time with young kids running around. Seems fair Hmm

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